Loss
by tsora17
Summary: "When you kill me, all I ask is that you are honest. When the time comes, look me in the eye and say, 'Sara, it's been fun, but I'm going to kill you now'." Khan/OC. Rating change to M. Rating has gone up due to more intense subject matter including stronger language and more mature themes.
1. Awakening

I don't own Star Trek, more's the pity. Only my original character and plot line.

For this fic, 'Sara' is pronounced in the British way – not to be pronounced like 'Sarah'. I know in the States they are pronounced the same, but I'm going with the Brit way for this story.

Also, T for language. If I continue, the rating may go up.

* * *

Loss

Ch 1 - Awakening

* * *

Admittedly, Sara realized going to this god-forsaken place was not a good idea. If she was caught, she knew she'd face charges. A foreign girl alone in an unknown land would not have the sympathy of the court. At the very least, she'd be locked up for years. At the worst, she'd be dead. But lately, she just hadn't cared. In fact, that had been her attitude about many things for a while now. Skirting the inside perimeter of the warehouse, she looked up scanning for the security cameras rather than looking at the floor.

And that was her mistake.

Tripping over a large metal object, Sara was stunned for a moment before picking herself up and limping slightly moving back over to examine it. It was a large tube – almost two meters long. The technology intrigued her. On the one hand, it looked like nothing she'd ever seen before – so it was advanced. Yet, at the same time, the pod looked old - like it had seen better years.

Then it happened. Lights came on from the inside making the pod start to glow a warm orange color. Maybe she had triggered something when she had bumped it. The coolness of the pod was soon replaced by a slow and steady heat. Through the top of the tube, she could just make out what was in there – a man who seemed to be waking up.

The lid slid back partially, and the man inside started to open his eyes.

Not knowing what to be more frightened of – being discovered or dealing with a freshly melted man – Sara stepped back. Then warning lights started to flash red. Somehow the system was failing. Sara started pushing random buttons in the hope of opening it up more. With a whirring noise, the pod opened down to his waist.

Leaning down, Sara could tell he wasn't breathing. She opened his mouth and breathed air into his cold pliant lips before starting chest compressions. Soon she lost count of how many reps she had done on him. As the woman pumped his chest, her eyes moved around the warehouse looking for signs of discovery. She didn't want to leave him; but if he was unresponsive and she was in imminent danger of being caught, she'd have to abandon him. She'd have no choice.

Sara moved her eyes back down to the man. She had felt something twitch. With a surprising speed, he caught her right wrist with an incredibly strong grip. Her eyes found his face and were drawn into his hypnotically pale eyes. Sara saw a multitude of emotions - confusion, anger, fear, rage – radiating from him.

"Where am I?" he harsh voice rasped.

"Warehouse. West Tennessee. It's 2013. And you're not out of danger. Can you walk?"

His eyes narrowed – gauging her answers to him before responding, "Yes."

"Then, if you let go of me, I'll get us out of here. Unless you want whoever was keeping you a popsicle to catch you again."

He released her wrist and pulled his lithe body out of the pod in one continuous movement. "Lead on. What weapons do we have?"

"None."

He looked at her with unspoken exasperation and disapproval. No one worth anything would come into an enemy location unarmed. He even rolled his eyes. But as he walked a few steps, he legs gave out from under him. Instead of hitting the ground, he found her arm wrapped around his waist holding him up. He looked over to her in shock. Her dark brown eyes were simmering in her own anger.

"Looks like you're not 100% yet, buddy. And, don't get me wrong. I have every intention of getting you out of here. But one more eye roll and I drop your ass. I'm sure your pissed off about being frozen and not having weapons, but I'm doing the best I can."

"I'm just not use to bumblers."

"Well, if it weren't for my bumbling, you'd still be on ice. So. Are we good? Or do you want to keep arguing till the guards find us?"

"I'm good."

"This way then."

Sara led him out of the warehouse, into the woods, and to an old blue Ford pick-up parked about a half-mile away. She opened the passenger door and helped him slide onto the seat before closing the door securely. Then she raced to her side and hopped in starting the truck and pulling out as quietly as she could.

Her eyes flickered from the road to the man beside her. His energy level had only plummeted on their way to the truck, and she was concerned about him.

"There's water in bag at your side."

The man fumbled in the bag before drawing the bottle to his lips. He drank hungrily from it before looking around as she drove.

"Thank you."

"No worries. What's your name? I'm Sara, by the way."

"I'm … John." He paused for a moment. "What's the plan?"

"Let's get you back to where I'm staying. You can get food and rest there. That's the safest thing. Lay low for a week or so. "

"What about this truck? They will follow us."

"I've got everything under control. They won't find us."

"You're very sure of yourself."

"Yes. I am."

Sara pulled into a gravel drive which twisted and turned through the woods. At the end was a surprisingly modern house compared to the other homes in the neighborhood. She helped John out of the truck and into the house. Placing him down in on the sofa in the living room, she moved silently into the kitchen.

She asked, "Coffee or tea?"

"Coffee – white – two sugars."

She nodded and went to work. The floor plan was open so John could watch her as she went about making their meal. Sara had the coffee ready soon and handed that to John first. The sound he made, "Ahhh," upon drinking the coffee told Sara she'd done it right. A few moments later, Sara placed a place of sandwiches down in front of him.

"Sorry. But this is quickest thing I can make right now," she said and made her way to the door.

"Where are you going?"

"To get rid of the truck. I'll be back in 20 minutes. After you eat, there's plenty of clean linens if you want a bath. "

Twenty minutes later, Sara came back through the door – just as John emerged from the shower with one towel wrapped around his waist and another drying his dark hair which fell down into his eyes. The contrasting values of light and dark were captivating.

"How did you dispose of the truck? If you've just released it into a lake, they'll find it in less than a day."

"Don't be obtuse. I gave it to Mr. Jenkins down the road along with $500. He's always wanted to go visit his family in Denver. Now he can."

"So if the people who captured me discover we were in the truck..."

"They'll have a nice little diversion for them." Sara looked at John with a small smile.

"I'm almost impressed."

For the first time, John truly looked at Sara. The smile that lit up her face briefly was her only conventional pretty feature. Her dark hair was wild – almost unkempt. Her eyes were dark and hard. John imagined what they had seen to make them that way. Her frame leaned toward the plum rather than the slim.

She sat down on a tall chair at the kitchen island and gestured for John to sit opposite from her. He sat across from her without a word.

Sara took a deep breath and began, "Let's not lie to each other ... Khan. Or at least, don't feel like you have to lie to me. I know what I am not and, better yet, I know what you are."

He tilted his head slightly, "Enlighten me."

"I have no delusions concerning my appearance. I'm not pretty. "

"True."

"So you don't have to worry about any physical element to this situation."

"Good."

"Yes, it is."

"So. You are not pretty. And what am I?"

"Cruel - to anyone you deem inferior to yourself – which, in today's circumstances, is everybody."

"What are your intentions then?"

"_My_ intentions are hardly relevant. We both know who's in charge here. But, I'll help you. If you let me, at least until you done with me."

"And what happens I'm 'done with you'?" His voice threatened to melt her from within, but she held her ground.

"Oh, you'll kill me. But when you do, don't jerk me around. You are many things, but patronizing is not one of them. When you kill me, all I ask is that you are honest. When the time comes, look me in the eye and say, 'Sara, it's been fun, but I'm going to kill you now.' If that's not too much to ask."

"If you know I will kill you, then why help me?"

"One. If I don't help you, you'll just kill me anyway. I don't want to die just yet. Two. You're not boring. I haven't been not bored in a long while."

"And what else. There is another reason. Oh, yes. You are damaged. You have lost something important to you."

"Brilliant deduction - of every member of the human race. Can we move on now?"

"You asked for honesty, Sara. If you want that for your death later, you will be honest with me now."

"Fine. Something was done to me; I can never have children. I know from your point of view that it's ridiculous to mourn one less member of a inferior race coming into the world. But I do. Now can we move on? Or do I get a chance to figure out how you are damaged?"

"I'm not damaged."

"Only a person who's been hurt like we have can understand what we feel. Let's see. You are a superior being who looks down on at ordinary people. The only thing you'd care about would be your own kind. Oh, you've lost your people. I don't know how, but you have. For that, I am sorry. No one should have to go through that."

Sara stood up and pointed down the hallway to the left. "There's a couple of bedrooms down that way. Get some rest. If you feel up to it tomorrow, we'll get started."

"On what?"

"On whatever you want."

Khan looked at Sara as she headed down the opposite hallway to her room.

"Sara," Khan called.

"Yes, Khan?" She looked behind to see him rise from his chair.

"It's been fun, but I'm going to kill you now."

He said it as darkly serious as his rich voice could make it, but then she saw the corners of his lips curve in amusement. He was just watching for her reaction. Would she cry? Beg for her life? Just as ordinary people had done before her.

Instead, she laughed.

"Good night to you too, you sick bastard." Sara grinned before turning back to reach her room.

Khan listened carefully but heard no lock being turned or pulled into place. His grin widened. Perhaps this Sara could be helpful and amusing to him. But whenever she ceased to be, he knew he'd have no qualms about killing her.

* * *

Thoughts? Should I continue this or let it be a one-shot?


	2. Beginning

I don't own Star Trek, more's the pity. Only my original character and plot line.

For this fic, 'Sara' is pronounced in the British way – not to be pronounced like 'Sarah'. I know in the States they are pronounced the same, but I'm going with the Brit way for this story.

Also, T for language. If I continue, the rating may go up.

* * *

Loss

Ch 2 – Beginning

* * *

The first thing Sara felt was pressure on her throat. Strong hands on either side of her windpipe slowly crushing the pathway and preventing air from reaching her lungs.

She knew it was Khan. Of course it was.

She'd watched the precise way his muscled hands had held his coffee last night. Each of his fingers had moved in a complex wave of controlled motion. Now she felt those fingers tight on her skin controlling her ability to breathe.

Opening her eyes, she was determined not to show fear. Sara saw that Khan was above her – arms outstretched with the hint of well developed muscles flexing underneath his skin tight shirt as he enclosed her neck. His face though was what surprised her. Sara had expected to see the rage she'd read about so often to be visible in the man's face. But, instead, there was an unusual air of contemplation.

* * *

Khan had expected Sara to fight him or at least show fear. Instead, her body went limp, and her eyes accepted her fate.

This unnerved him.

No one that he had ever killed before had reacted in this manner. Their self-preservation instinct had been too high. Part of what pleasured him was the adrenaline rush from his victims' futile attempts of escape. Sara made no attempts to escape. Rather, she bent to his will without question – even if it meant her death.

Why did this woman not struggle to survive?

Releasing Sara with an attitude of apathy, he turned abruptly and was leaving the room as he said coolly, "Time to begin."

* * *

Pulling on a old robe around her shoulders and tying it around her waist, Sara walked into the kitchen to find Khan in the same seat he occupied last night. Sitting so still, he was like a piece of marble just waiting to be carved.

Sara walked around the kitchen, fixing them each a coffee. It was a few minutes before she started to speak.

"So, were you really going to kill me just now or was that your version of a wake-up call? Because if it was the latter, you really need to work on your technique." As she finished her words, she set his cup in front of him. His cold eyes held her as captive as his hands had done not ten minutes before.

"You did not struggle. You are either very brave – or very stupid."

She kept eye contact as she sat opposite him.

"I've often found that those are the same thing. Anyway, fighting for one's life usually means one has something for which to live. I've already accepted that I will die alone leaving no children to live on after me. My death, like everyone's, is inevitable. So what does it matter when it happens?"

"What were you doing in that warehouse?"

She took a deep breath as his manner seemed to accept her words, and he moved on to another topic.

"I was given an experimental vaccination for a disease I later discovered to be an invention by the very pharmaceutical company who produced the vaccine. The vaccination sterilized me along with many other patients – both males and females."

"You were trying to track down records - to use as evidence?"

Sara shook her head. "I was searching for vials of the vaccine. It's been pulled from use. But that doesn't mean that I can't find their stockpile."

"To what end?"

"Give the people who did this a dose of their own medicine. Literally. Why should only innocent people suffer from their greed?"

"You don't trust the court system to administer justice?"

She let out an incredulous laugh. "Trust government officials who are being paid by the very company I'm trying to destroy? What do you think?"

Khan leaned forward as he spoke. "You realize that some of the people you are after will already have their own children – grandchildren even. What good will that vaccine do then?"

"Then I'll just have to find the last generation and administer it to them."

"You are prepared to revenge yourself on innocent lives?"

"Every _one _of the people that vaccine was given to was innocent. I don't see the difference." Raising her voice as her anger started to surface, Sara noticed that Khan looked at her slightly differently from before. "What?"

He took a breath and paused before stating, "I . . . admire your resolve." Looking at her anew, it seemed as if he was trying to re-evaluate her.

She tried not to let his words or his eyes unsettle her. A superior man, a man who was totally ruthless, had just paid her a complement. How the hell could she respond to that? She attempted nonchalance.

"Cheers. Now, what about you? What can I do to help?"

"Information. How did you narrow your search to the location where you found me?"

"Intel I received said that it was in an abandoned warehouse in this area."

"But there must be numerous warehouses abandoned in an area this economically depressed. The homes around here are not the homes of people who regularly work."

"True. But only one warehouse was built to be abandoned."

Khan's eyes narrowed. "Explain."

"One warehouse was constructed by the local government. On the face of it, they said it was to attract business. According to the records, no company has ever used it."

The corners of Khan's mouth curved slightly. "But who builds a warehouse with the _hope_ of it being used?"

The amused tone in his voice sent a tingle to the base of her spine. She tried to ignore it.

"Exactly. Our pharmaceutical company is using it on the quiet. The only reason to do it quietly is if you are storing things you don't want people to know you have."

"Like stockpiles of an erroneous vaccine."

"Or a frozen superior man. Just how long have you been frozen? I know you disappeared in 1996, but the age on that tube looked a hell of a lot more than seventeen years."

"I was first awoken 200 years in the future. I was manipulated, betrayed, and all my people were lost. My crew, my family . . . were all murdered in cold blood. I will find a way to make their murderers pay."

The tingles in her back quickly turned to a chill as his voiced changed.

"I know this doesn't help, but I am sorry."

"Words do not help. But your actions can. Perhaps my actions can help you in return."

Sara looked away from Khan before staring at him with a new intensity.. "You know you don't have to do that."

"What?"

"Lie to me. I will help you regardless. My eyes are open in this. I don't expect you to care about what's happened to me."

"You are correct. I care nothing for you. But, our aims may not run too far from each other. Who else would know why I was sent back to the past than the people who run this company? Someone left me in that warehouse for a reason. I will help you find this vaccine. I will help you get to the people who require your retribution. But I will get my answers before you get your final revenge."

Sara didn't realize that she was holding her breath. Finally she nodded, "Agreed. When do we start?"

"Now. We need supplies and weapons. Then you will take me back to the warehouse."

"Ok. But we need to eat something first."

"I do not require sustenance."

"I know. But I do. And, if I'm making something for me, you might as well have some too."

"We will waste time."

"We'll be wasting more time if I flake out from hunger. It will take half an hour to fix and less than five minutes to consume."

Thirty minutes later, Sara sat down at the bar four glasses - two with a orange liquid and the others with a green liquid inside.

Examining them, Khan demanded, "Explain."

"We each have two glasses of freshly made juice. Vitamin content in each glass is off the chart. Nutrients will be easier assimilated into our bodies without slowing us down."

"What is in the orange one?"

"Oranges, carrots, and sweet potatoes."

"And the other?"

"Ginger, lemon, apples, celery, cucumber, and kale."

Khan took a sip. It was surprisingly good. Khan tried to look as miserable as before, but he couldn't quite manage it.

"Glad you like it." Sara said taking her glasses with her and heading for the shower. "I'll be ready in 10."

"What about weapons?" Khan called after her.

"There aren't any here. But, we'll swing by Mr. Jenkins' house. He's a good ole Southern boy. He's got loads of fire arms and ammunition."

When Sara emerged fully dressed, Khan was ready and impatient to go. At least she hadn't lied to him. While she had been in the shower, Khan had searched the rest of the house. Not a single gun or piece of ammunition could be found. He also had not found any materials linking Sara to the house itself. The only names on bills and documents were to a woman named Ludie Gant.

"Sara."

"Yes, Khan."

"Whose house are we in?"

"Miss Ludie's. I'm house sitting for her while she's on holiday."

"But you are an unknown here."

"Oh, that. Just show up to church a couple of times, turn on the British accent, say 'Yes, Ma'am,' and the locals are putty in your hands." Looking at him, she could tell something was wrong. "Ok, what is it?"

"I always like to know _exactly_ who I'm working with." He stepped up closer to her. Imposing on his height difference. "What is your surname, Sara?"

"Oh. Right. Trevathan. Sara Augustine Trevathan. Are you happy now, Mr. Noonien Singh?"

"Delighted." The word was hissed out of Khan's mouth dripping with sarcasm.

"Good. Let's go house breaking then." Sara clapped him on the shoulder and smirked before she walked out of the house leaving Khan to follow.

Khan willed his anger to calm at her presumption of familiarity. For now he still needed her. But he did not delude himself that he would take particular pleasure from Sara when the time came. He would make her death most enjoyable.

Khan's lips turned into a slight grin as he exited the house.

* * *

Tremendous thanks to ScienceExperiment5150, E, Korvescence, AceToxicity, SharkGurl, and raven for those lovely reviews. For the seven people who have favourited and the twenty people who have put this fic on their Alerts you guys are great too. Many, many thanks for your input and support.

Please keep your thoughts and comments coming.


	3. Correcting

Some of you have asked for more clarification on pronunciations: Sara should be pronounced 'S-ah-ra' instead of Sarah – 'S-air-a.' I hope this helps.

Also, T for language. If I continue, the rating may go up.

I don't own Star Trek, more's the pity. Only my original character and plot line.

* * *

Loss

Ch 3- Correcting

* * *

"I hope you did not lose our only mode of transport when you gave it away." Khan scanned the driveway of the house for alternate vehicles. He didn't see any.

"Oh, ye of little faith," Sara chided. "The truck was Ms. Ludie's farm vehicle." She led Khan around to the side of the house. "This is my car." Sara grinned with pride.

Khan was not impressed. "A station wagon," he stated flatly.

"A 2013 Subaru Forester," Sara corrected. "An all-wheel drive, Japanese-made, SUV with a boxer turbo charged engine that can reach 160 mph. You've got carrying capacity, speed, plus the ability to traverse various terrains. I know that this is nothing compared to whatever you saw in the future, but this is a brilliant ride."

"The least technologically advanced vehicle that I piloted in the future makes this look like a bicycle." Khan said smugly trying to get a response from Sara.

"And how did piloting those technologically advanced vehicles work out for you? Not too good. Hmm?"

"Explain."

"Well, obviously whatever happened in the future, _you_ came out on the losing end because _you_ are the one who ended up back here as a human ice cube."

Khan turned his whole body in one precise movement to face her. "Are you wanting me to kill you now?"

"No. Just don't disrespect the Subie. You see, it's a bit like the eye-roll, I just can't stand that."

"Do not expect me to praise this thing."

"Of course not. But I've learned a new sayings since being in Tennessee."

Khan looked at her quizzically.

Sara continued, "If you can't say anything nice, just shut the hell up."

Khan bridged the distance between them and grabbed Sara's wrist pulling it at an unnatural angle. "You forget to whom you speak."

"No. No, I don't. You're the genetically advanced wanker who needs my help."

"Not for long."

"True. And then you'll kill me. Hang on. Haven't we been here before?" She paused for a moment and grimaced – but not from any pain in her wrist. "Oh no . . . now you've done it. You . . . I can't believe you made me do that."

"What?" Khan looked truly puzzled.

"You made me quote the title of a _Styx_ song. Granted, it's the best song they ever did, but still. Damn it!"

"We are wasting time." Khan released Sara's hand, opened the door, and sat down in the passenger's seat without another word.

* * *

They were at Mr. Jenkin's house in no time. Sara led Khan to the back porch and turned away from him surveying the neighborhood to see if anyone could see them. Across the road, a couple of kids were playing basketball; and at another house, a man and woman were unloading groceries from the back of a minivan.

Looking back over her shoulder, she saw Khan move to bust glass out of the door with his elbow. Reeling around, Sara placed her hands on his arms willing him to stop. She tried not to show her amazement at how powerful his muscles felt.

"No. No. NO! You madman. That will attract attention we don't need."

Khan hissed, "What do you suggest then?"

Sara bent down and tilted a flower pot on its side retrieving a small metal object. "Maybe . . . we could try . . . the key?"

Khan simply glared at her. Sara refused to be intimidated.

"You just pout if you can't break something, don't you?"

He stepped up into Sara's personal space - inches away from her. His baritone voice rippling through her. "I. Do. Not. Pout."

It took everything Sara had not to shudder. "Sorry, but with lips like that, it's pretty damn hard to hide a pout. Anyway, if you go by your own superiority premise then you must have one of the most perfect pairs of lips in human history. Perfect for pouting." Sara side stepped him and opened the door.

Khan chose to ignore her last remarks. "Now what?"

"His gun cabinet is this way." She led Khan into Mr. Jenkin's den. A tall cabinet stood in the corner full of a variety of weapons.

"Key?" Khan held out his hand to Sara.

"Oh, no. I don't have the key to the cabinet. Now you get your wish. You get to break something. Knock yourself out. Just be careful. I refuse to pick glass out of any part of your body." Sara made her way to exit the room.

"Where are you going?"

"Kitchen. Mr. Jenkin's ice tea is legendary."

Khan proceeded to break the glass releasing for the first time much of his pent up frustration and rage. By the time it was over, Sara was back in the room standing behind Khan. He was surprised he hadn't heard her return because the woman was uncannily close.

Sara asked, "Feel better?"

Khan busied himself checking the weapons and replied without looking at her. "If I say 'no', you will simply keep annoying me."

"I didn't think the Great Khan would allow himself to be annoyed by a little inferior nothing like myself."

Spinning around, Khan lowered a loaded shotgun at Sara. "Do you have a death wish?"

Sara took a step closer to the gun. "You had your hands around my throat this morning, and I didn't struggle. Do you really have to ask?"

Lowering the gun, Khan took a measured step closer to Sara. "You are goading me on purpose."

Sara stood her ground. "Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I've never met someone with your interesting balance of intensity, intellect, and temper. It's fun to see which one wins out. But don't worry, I'm done for now. At least till we get out of the warehouse."

"If I let you live that long."

* * *

Parked a mile away in a different direction than the first time she'd been there, Sara watched the sociopath prepare to enter the warehouse. Khan quickly shrugged on a long coat he'd taken from Mr. Jenkin's house before he considered each weapon with his cold blue eyes. Now that he had weapons, his posture took on a slightly different air. She knew his entire body was a weapon, but something about the way he handled the guns emphasized that fact. The shotguns, rifles, and hand guns that he organized around his body seemed to be mere extensions of the man rather than foreign objects.

As he filled his pockets with shot gun shells, bullets for the rifle, and small clips for the hand gun, Sara had a thought.

"Hey, save some for me."

"No."

Sara waited for more of an explanation, but she was disappointed. "What? You mean I don't get a gun?"

"You infiltrated the warehouse before unarmed. You should have no qualms about doing so again."

"That's rubbish." Her dark brown eyes narrowed, "You're just afraid I'm going to shoot your ass."

"I am not afraid of anything."

"You are so full of yourself." Sara mumbled before saying aloud, "Fine. Fine. You keep the guns. I can take care of myself."

Sara led Khan to a vantage point on a small hill just above the warehouse.

"Damn it." She hissed when she viewed the scene.

"What?"

"They've upped their exterior security."

"Looks like there are several patrols in groups of two circling the building."

"Last time, they just had the moving cameras in place." She thought for a second. "I'll make a distraction. Give you a chance to get in there. After that you're on your own."

"No."

"Why not?"

"I need you to take me to where my stasis tube was. Having just been woken, I do not recall the way back to it."

Sara was surprised by the hint of embarrassment in his last sentence. "Hold on. You are assuming they've left in the same place."

"It is doubtful, but it is the best place to start."

Khan surveyed the grounds. Luckily in the attempt to make it seem normal, no fence had been placed around the outer perimeter. To the side of the warehouse lay open farmland – where the hay had been recently cut, rolled into huge round bales, not picked up yet.

He turned to his accomplice and smiled wickedly. "Fire, Sara, is always a convenient distractor."

"I've got some petrol in a spare container in the boot of the Subie."

"Show me."

* * *

They carefully made their way down to the field careful to avoid being seen by the numerous patrols. Once Khan doused the hay with the petrol, he stepped pack and prepared to fire into the bale.

"What are you doing?" Sara hissed.

Khan's tone was condescending. He hadn't thought Sara to be _that _stupid. "In order to make fire, we need a spark."

"No shit, Sherlock. But you'll waste ammunition."

"How do you propose to ignite it then?"

A second later a small flame appeared a foot away from his nose. Sara had lit a cigarette lighter in front of his face. He didn't flinch.

"Maybe this could work?" Sara's sarcasm flowed.

"Do it. After you light the fire, we will double back the way we came. When they react, we will make for the back door."

"It took me about a minute to pick the lock last night. I remember the way it moved. It shouldn't take as long this time."

"If they have not changed it."

* * *

Once the fire became visible, Sara and Khan watched the patrols rush over to it. Making their way to the back door, the two tried to stay as inconspicuous as possible hiding all the guns underneath his coat. But, Sara knew that at the first sign of danger that Khan would be ready to defend them.

Reaching the door, Sara knelt down to start picking the lock.

"Shit. They changed it. It's on a card key system now. We're screwed."

Suddenly she heard Khan hiss, "Down. Now."

Sara obeyed on instinct. Above her head, she heard Khan fire the shot gun. Swiveling around to find out what he was shooting at, Sara saw a guard who had had his gun poised to fire. Without checking to see if she was ok, Khan walked over to the dying man and yanked the card key from around his neck. He ran the card though the door and directed a smirk toward Sara.

Khan's voice dripped with pleasure from killing the guard. "Shall we?"

* * *

Shall I continue? Thoughts and critiques are always welcome.

Please forgive me for the Sherlock reference. I just couldn't help myself.

Many many thanks to raven, HaruHaruxLove, SharkGurl, Korvescence, Finfy, Continue, loquaciouslethality, GRuth, cyn, Guest (1), Guest (2), and ShimmeringWater for those amazingly kind and encouraging reviews. 'Wow' – is all I can say.

Thanks to the twelve of you who have decided to favourite and the 41 of you who have added this to your Alerts. You guys are great.

My goal is to upload once a week. I was able to do the first two a little faster because of the Memorial Day weekend. Now that it's back to regular life, a chapter a week is probably the best I can do.

Thanks and love to you all.

Tsora17


	4. Demanding

**This Chapter:**

**Triggers – mention of miscarriage.** T for language. If I continue, the rating may go up.

I don't own Star Trek, more's the pity. Only my original character and plot line.

* * *

Loss

Ch 4- Demanding

* * *

"This way." Sara turned right once inside the warehouse. Khan followed her, and they both constantly looked out for any encroaching guards.

Suddenly, she slowed down and looked at an area with acknowledgment and confusion. "Here. It was just here." Sara let out exasperated sigh. They were in the right place but there was no sign of Khan's stasis pod.

"Over there." Khan nodded further to their right. "A secondary door."

Sara's eyes followed to where Khan indicated. That door was also fitted with a key card lock. Luckily, their card worked a second time.

Once they entered the interior room, Khan's focus shifted to large cubicles lining the walls. As Khan's focus was diverted, he turned his back to Sara who eyed the door cautiously. Before Sara could let out a warning, a lone security guard breached the room. The man rushed forward pointing his semi-automatic at Khan. Sara dropped down below his sight line behind a stack of boxes and inched her way quietly to the isle the guard was walking through - silently pulling something out of her jeans pocket.

The middle aged guard edged his way forward before addressing Khan in a thick Southern accent. "Hey, son. Stop right there."

Khan's eyes found Sara from his vantage point, and his objective mind decided to see what the woman would do. He secretly hoped that Sara would be able to defend herself against one armed guard. He found having to save ordinary people he associated with extremely tedious. Khan was not disappointed.

She plunged a sharp knife into the guard's foot. From her kneeling position, Sara elbowed him in the groin making the guard fall to the floor. She stood up and placed her foot on his chest. Grabbing the semi-automatic, she fired one bullet into his head before retrieving the blade wiping it on the dead man's clothes and returning it to her pocket.

She turned to face Khan. Try as he might, he couldn't help but look impressed. But he'd be damned if he would express the sentiment in words. Sara didn't mind. The look on his face was worth it.

Without warning, Sara raised her gun again. For a split moment, Khan thought she would fire on him. Sara had the gun leveled and pointed right at his chest. But in a quick sweeping movement, she pulled to the left and shot another guard advancing from the other side of the room whose sites were trained on Khan.

The look on Khan's face this time was unreadable, and Sara didn't have the time to ask about it. Khan went back to his search.

A moment later, Sara asked, "Have you found anything?"

"Nothing concrete. These cubicles are the right dimensions to house stasis tubes, but there are no tubes in here."

"What about that office?" Sara pointed to a door at the top of a set of stairs in the back of the room. "If nothing else, we could get information."

Without answering, Khan headed in that direction. He reached the door before Sara and called out, "Locked, and not with a key card. This one is a traditional device."

Sara finally caught up with him. Khan motioned his eyes down to Sara's gun. She nodded in reply.

"Step back, then."

With Khan out of the way, Sara braced her feet and began firing at the locked door. After a minute of firing, the door fell open and they both entered.

Khan immediately went to the computer at the desk and turned it on.

"Watch the door. It will take several minutes for me to go through the computer and memorize the data it holds."

"You can do that?" Sara couldn't help but sound impressed.

"I am superior." Khan said smugly.

"I don't think we have the luxury of time. I'm not saying you're slow," Sara caught the glared Khan gave her, "but the computer will take time opening up all the files you want to view."

"What do you suggest?"

"Save everything to this." Sara produced a flash drive from another pocket. "This way, you won't be rushed and we have a better shot of getting out of here alive."

Khan took it out of Sara's hand without a word and began to work immediately.

"You're welcome." Sara muttered under her breath.

* * *

They raced back to the Subie – much quicker than they had done the day before because this time people were shooting at them. Endurance was one of Sara's assets. Speed, however, was not. In fact, now Sara was beginning to slow. But to her surprise, Khan held back for a moment so that she could keep up. Then to her amazement, Khan grabbed her hand and pulled her along after him. When they finally reached the car, Sara was out of breath with her lungs heaving in protest. Speeding away this time with no regard to the amount of noise she made, Sara's driving was a little more than erratic. However, Khan simply watched her drive and kept his thoughts to himself.

She couldn't even speak as she drove them away from the warehouse and soon they were back at Ms. Ludie's. Sara parked the Subie out of sight and entered the house from it's back door. Khan followed. She was headed to her room when she felt his hand gripping hers – not with the intention to cause pain, but refusing to let her go all the same.

"Wait." Khan's voice was cool and demanding at the same time.

Sara didn't know why he bothered to use his hand. The power of his voice alone would have stopped her in her tracks. Turning to face Khan, she looked from his hand on her wrist to his eyes. Normally, the superior man's eyes were so cold they could freeze one's very soul. But now, something was different.

"What's wrong, Khan?"

"We need to talk."

"And we will - after I shower. I'm in no mood to talk when I'm hot and sweaty."

* * *

When she returned, she found Khan sitting in the lounge accessing her laptop – which she kept in her room. Sara was not surprised that he'd have the audacity to take it.

"Find anything interesting?"

"Yes."

"What?"

"I will tell you, Sara. But first, I need answers to questions."

"Only if I get to ask and get answers to my own."

"Agreed."

Sara nodded her head, remained standing, and crossed her arms in front of her. "Superior sociopaths first then."

Khan's mouth went up into a smirk. "When did you acquire the knives?"

Sara grinned enjoying the fact that she'd caught Khan off guard with her use of the knives. "When you were breaking into the gun cabinet. Mr. Jenkins is also a collector of knives. He keeps them in his kitchen. My turn. When I shot the second guard, you seemed surprised."

"I have aligned myself with others before. And have always been betrayed. Being stabbed in the back by ordinary people seems to be a recurring theme for me."

"Maybe if you weren't into the whole genocide thing, people might treat you better."

Khan ignored the barb. "Back to me." Khan paused for a moment – considering her then indicated that she was to sit down on the opposite end of the sofa. Only when Sara was seated did he continue. "When did he leave you?"

Sara stared Khan down with the same intensity as he gave her. "How the _hell_ do you about him?" Sara was sure she'd wiped every trace of him from her computer and her life.

"Cigarette lighter. You are not a smoker and yet you had a cigarette lighter close at hand."

"Maybe I just like being prepared?"

"More likely the last man in your life was a smoker. And then he left you. My question was: 'When?'."

"Actually, that's not really any of your damn business."

Khan continued to look at her steadily and then his voice intensified his demands. "When?"

"'When did my good-for-nothing, sodding husband leave me?'" Sara sighed. She hated bringing this up. It reopened so many old wounds. "After I discovered I was sterile."

"How do you know it was the vaccine that did it?"

"We were tested before we were married five years ago. We both wanted kids. Everything was fine. Both healthy. Both fertile. Then there was this scare – drummed up in the media by the pharmaceuticals. Everybody who didn't want this dreadful illness needed to be vaccinated at once. So we both took it. He was fine – no side effects of any kind. I _miscarried_. I hadn't even known I was pregnant. After that we tried and tried. Nothing happened. We both had our fertility retested. Again, he was fine. But now, I was sterile. And that's when the bastard left."

Khan remained silent.

"That's essentially all I'm going to tell you about that. I'm sure you don't want a play by play of our arguments or his last callous excuses for leaving me."

"No." Although Khan gave no attempt to comfort Sara, he seemed very thoughtful at her words.

"Good." Sara closed her eyes briefly and mentally shifted gears. "What did you find on the flash drive?"

"This location is merely a dumping ground. The vaccine stockpile is not here."

"But why would they put you here?"

"So no one would find me."

"I found you."

"You were not expected."

"Did it say where the vaccine is being stored?"

"Yes. A place called Knoxville. Know it?"

"Not yet, but I will. Hand me the laptop."

As Khan complied, he watched Sara work.

"One last question – for now at least."

Sara's spine stiffened preparing herself for another barrage of personal questions. "Go ahead."

"What is your husband's name?"

"_Ex_-husband." Sara spoke automatically and then looked at Khan trying to read him, "Why do you want to know?"

"You did me a service today. You were loyal, and I will not forget it. If I ever meet him, I can slice his heart open. It would be my gift to you." Khan spoke of doing the deed with a smile on his face.

Sara smiled a little taken aback by his offer. "Khan, thank you. Truly. But there is no need. If _I _ever see the lying son-of-a-bitch again, the one doing the slicing will be me."

Khan's smile widened. "Be careful, Sara. I may just start to like you."

* * *

Thanks for the wonderful reviews from WarriorDragonElf54, Elliesmeow, priestessofeternity, SharkGurl, DanAlaya, Finfy, blukyu, Korvescence, loquaciouslethality, and EverastingBella. Your feedback is so amazing and always welcomed.

Thank you to the 59 people who've added this to Alerts and the 22 who have Favourited. Cheers, guys!


	5. Evading

Rated T for language. Debating about bumping the rating up as this story progresses. What are your thoughts?

I don't own Star Trek, more's the pity. Only my original character and plot line.

* * *

Loss

Ch 4- Evading

* * *

Instead of hands around her throat, this time one hand covered her mouth while the other secured her body in place pushing down on her hip. There was so much power in those hands that the woman underneath them unnervingly shuddered. At no other time had she ever felt so physically helpless.

When she got her bearings, Sara looked straight into Khan's serious eyes. Somehow in the light of the bedroom, they had taken on a grey hue. Before she could register regret that Khan was not admitting aloud that he was going to kill her, his deep, well-controlled voice began, "Not this time, Sara. Sorry to disappoint. Listen to me. It is midnight, and someone is driving up to the house. We need to prepare for an attack and be ready to leave – as soon as we kill our attackers."

Only when Sara nodded did Khan release her. She neither had the time nor the inclination to reflect on the feelings the absence of his hands caused.

Getting out of the bed, Sara threw an old shirt over the tank top she wore at night. Her loose shorts hit her legs mid-thigh. Feeling Khan's eyes on her, Sara tried to ignore the feeling of being under a microscope.

She wrenched her mind back to the task at hand. "I thought all the weapons were still in the Subie."

"Not all of them." The left side of Khan's lips curled up into a smirk. "You will distract them. I will do the rest."

"Oh. Ok."

They made their way to the front sitting room and waited. Sara sat in a chair facing the door while Khan stood behind the door ready to attack.

But, Sara felt something was wrong. Although she didn't realize what it was until she heard a key go into the lock. Intruders usually don't have keys.

"Wait, Khan! Stop!"

He glanced at her briefly but did nothing to change his attack posture. Slowly, the knob began to turn, and Sara realized she had no choice. Before Khan could lay his hands on the person coming through the door, Sara launched herself at Khan forcing him back against the wall.

The next thing Sara and Khan heard was a gasp and the voice of an elderly Southern lady.

"Sara Trevathan! What in the hell are you doin'? I told you, young'un, that there were to be no _boys_ in my house while I was gone."

Sara looked up into Khan's face. Her cheeks flushed from the act of shoving Khan against the wall but more so from how the old woman was interpreting the scene. Sara was pressed up completely against Khan trapping both his wrists and pinning them to the wall with her hands. Her old shirt had flown open and the top of Sara's chest was visible and full being pushed up against the lean man.

Khan was gazing down at Sara with a mixture of desire and passion. Their lips almost touching. To the old woman, that look from a man only had one meaning. But Sara knew the truth. She new that look from Khan was from a desire to murder her rather than to indulge in carnal pleasures. She had dared to defy and attack him; his natural reaction to that was to kill. In fact, Sara was surprised at the sociopath's self control.

Sara released his hands and whispered in his ear before stepping back. "It's Ms. Ludie. Please don't kill her. Please, Khan."

Khan spoke low to where only Sara could hear. "I promise nothing."

"Explain, young lady." Ms. Ludie drew Sara's attention back to her.

"Ms. Ludie, this is John. He's a friend of mine who's come into town unexpectedly. He needed a place to stay."

"And what about all this?" She leaned on her cane and waved her finger at them.

"John thought you were an intruder. He believed he was defending me. When I heard your key, I knew it was you, and I was just trying to stop him from tackling you. There's nothing going on. He's been here one night and has slept in one of the smaller rooms. I've been in your room – just like you told me to do."

Again, Khan was impressed with Sara. She had used the truth yet twisted it so that everything seemed believable without giving any real information away. He liked that.

"Is this true, young man?"

Khan stared down at the little old woman with disdain. He didn't have time for this. He had more important things to do, and this was shifting his focus away from them.

"Yes."

Ms. Ludie walk right up to him and continued, "What are your intentions towards Sara?"

Khan tilted his head. "She is assisting me with a project."

"You are evading the question, John. You know what I mean. What are your intentions? Personally."

"I have none."

Ms. Ludie narrowed her eyes.

Khan returned the glare, "I do not desire Sara."

The old woman looked at Khan up and down. "Well, what in God's green earth is wrong with you, boy? Sara is a good girl. You'd do a lot worse, you know."

Sara tried to turn the conversation. "Ms. Ludie, please. John and I are just friends. Anyway, why are you back so early. I wasn't expecting you for two days. Did something go wrong?"

"I'll say. Paula Deen's restaurant, my ass. My momma's fried okra was better that woman's. Who the hell puts a chili sauce with it anyway? And, do you know what she had the audacity to charge for her chicken pot pie? Nineteen dollars – that's what. Didn't even have the decency to serve Mayfield's ice cream. Now the bitch is going to peddle her own butter. I don't know what the world is comin' to."

'So you stopped your trip early because the restaurant wasn't good?"

"Baby, one of the biggest reasons to go to Savannah is Paula's restaurant. If she's let it go to hell, then why stay? I can fix better food here with my eyes closed."

"Yes, ma'am. Well, I'm sure you're tired. I'll change the sheets, and you can have your room back."

"No, hun. I'll stay in one of the smaller rooms tonight. It's late. Don't want you to be doin' that now. Besides," she looked at Khan, "I still don't want you sleepin' too close to each other."

"Ms. _Ludie, _there's nothing ..."

"Don't 'Ms. Ludie' me. And, I know what the boy said. But,_ I_ know men. They can say one thing and then do the right opposite."

"Let me help you with your bags, Ms. Ludie." Sara moved to pick up her luggage.

"Thank you, dear. You are a good girl." Ludie looked over her shoulder, "Shame some people can't see it."

Khan's eyes bored holes in the back of the old woman's head. When Sara came back on her own, Khan stared at her intently. He stepped into her personal space, leaned down, and whispered in her ear. His voice was low, seductive, and cold.

"Do you know what I do to people who dare to attack me?"

It would have been so easy to cower to him. And a part of Sara's mind wanted to, but another part wouldn't back down.

"It was hardly an attack. My purpose was not to do you harm but to prevent you from harming a little old woman."

"Whom I have not promised to spare."

Sara countered, "But you promised that you would reward my loyalty. Or have you forgotten the words you said not twelve hours ago? You offered to kill for me. I declined. But you still owe me; what I want is for you to let Ms. Ludie live."

"She is a complication that I do not need."

Sara laughed. "You'll think complicated if Ms. Ludie shows up dead. The woman is an icon in this community. Besides, I'm sure she's already called everyone at her church to let them know she's back. Tomorrow's Wednesday." Sara looked at the time. It was past midnight. "Well, today rather."

"Explain."

"Mid-week church night. Here not only do people attend church on Sunday but Wednesday as well. Ms. Ludie's in charge of the meal, and she'd have told the other ladies to step down now that she's back. If she's not there later tonight, the authorities will be on our trail before you know it. _That's_ a complication that we really don't need. I'm sure a trip across Tennessee would be so much fun with the police after us." Even though Khan was still in a threatening posture, she refused to hide her sarcasm.

"But she has seen me."

"So?"

"She may recognize me."

"She hasn't, and she won't."

"How can you know?"

"You ruled most of Asia and the Middle East, yes?"

"Yes."

"Ms. Ludie's world only extends to the borders of this county – possibly this state, but more than likely this county. If she did know of you while you were in power, she's forgotten it by now. Because her world revolves around local families and church."

"You are asking me to take a risk."

"I am asking you to realize that the bigger risk would be to kill her. The most logical course is to leave early this morning before she wakes up. So at the most, she's seen you for five minutes. She'll go on about her little life, and we can go on to Knoxville. There is simply no advantage to killing her, Khan."

"You did show loyalty. I will let the old woman live. And that makes us even."

"Yes, Khan. Thank you."

"Understand though. I had planned your death to be quick. But if she does betray me, your death will now be drawn out and very painful."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I understand."

Khan grabbed her arm pushing down into her bicep. "I don't believe you do. What is there to stop me from killing you right now and then the old woman?"

"Nothing."

"Exactly. Do not think that since I am allowing the old woman to live that I am going soft."

"Khan, no one could ever accuse you of going soft."

* * *

With their bags packed and in the Subie, Sara tried to get a few more hours rest before leaving. She'd written Ms. Ludie a note explaining their early departure and Khan was satisfied that the letter would placate any suspicions the old woman might have.

But before they could leave, two more cars pulled up to the house. Through the sheer curtains in the kitchen, both Sara and Khan could see what kind of cars they were.

Sara swore under her breath as Khan's cold words sent a chill down her spine, "The police."

* * *

Many heartfelt thanks to my reviewers: ShimmeringWater, WarriorDragonElf54, Lift the Wings, Finfy, Elliesmeow, priestessofeternity, Alpha Centarus, Shooty McFace, Casbriel, DanAlaya, SharkGurl, Vampire Solidarity1, Korvescence, Guest (3), Guest (4), GRuth, silentxangel, Tsar1. You guys are brilliant.

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All of your continued support is very much appreciated; keeps me motivated and writing.

Hoping to never disappoint you,

Tsora17


	6. Fishing

**This Chapter:**

**Trigger – Discussion of self-harm. **

I'm moving this up to M for more vibrant language, more mature themes, and possible sexually mature scenes.

I don't own Star Trek, more's the pity. Only my original character and plot line.

* * *

Loss

Ch 6 - Fishing

* * *

"Young'uns, what are yuns doin' starin' out that window?"

Sara turned around, startled by her presence. "Ms. Ludie, you're up."

"Yes, I'm up. I don't know what y'all are worried about. That's just Officer Jerry come to pick up the JFG coffee I brought him."

"Coffee?" Sara shook her head trying to understand.

"Yes, poor man wanted JFG so bad he couldn't stand it."

"But you can get coffee in the shops here." Sara paused, "Wait a minute, which 'Jerry' is it?" The tone of her voice revealed her anxiety.

Ms. Ludie missed Sara's concern and ignored the question. "Yes, but it's not the same. JFG is made in Knoxville. I got it freshly ground yesterday. You'd be surprised how much better it is."

"There are _two_ police cars out there." Khan's voice was smooth - disguising the rage he was feeling inside. He should have know better than to let the old woman live.

"Oh, that must be Officer Mike. He's here for his Krispy Kreme donuts. Got'em fresh yesterday from Knoxville, too."

Sara and Khan just stared at her. Then the doorbell rang, and Ms. Ludie moved to answer it. Khan turned to Sara.

"Act normally."

"What? You're not going to kill them?"

"Only if it becomes necessary. Two murdered policemen would gather much more attention than an old lady, and we'd be found out straight away, not later on tonight. Act normally." He tilted her head. His steel blue eyes looked straight into her eyes of deep brown. "Do not be surprised by any of my actions."

"Why are you putting all this on me?"

"Because I am also a superior actor. I can merge into the normal human race with ease when I choose. But, you must react to me as if my actions are real, or the policemen will suspect. If they suspect, they die."

"So I hold two men's lives in my hands?"

"Yes." Khan's smile widened, "Exciting, is it not?"

Ms. Ludie let the police officers into the house. The first one who entered looked around and saw Sara and Khan.

"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit." Sara whispered.

"Problem?" Khan asked irritated.

"It's the one who fancies me."

"What?" Khan hissed. He looked down severely at Sara and then the officer. Then, as quickly as the look came, it vanished behind a mask of Khan's normalcy.

"Mornin', Ms. Ludie, Ms. Sara," Officer Jerry looked at Khan. "I didn't know you had company, Ms. Ludie."

"That's not company, hun; it's just Sara's man. Mornin', Officer Mike, come and help me get your donuts and Officer Jerry's coffee."

"Yes, ma'am." The officer said obediently and followed Ms. Ludie.

The first officer stepped over to Khan and extended his hand. "Officer Jerry Raines."

"John Harrison. Nice to meet you." Khan smiled and took the officer's hand in a firm, friendly handshake. Sara did well to hide her shock. Khan was right. He could pull off normal when he wanted to.

"Officer Jerry, John is a friend of mine from England. He's come to visit."

"A friend? Ms. Sara's never mentioned you." The officer looked at Khan as if he had a rival and straightened himself up to his full height. He still ended up shorter than Khan.

"Well, Sara and I didn't leave on the best of terms. You see, I didn't like the idea of her traveling across the States on her own."

"But now you're here."

"Yes, I've finally allowed myself some time off. So, I've come to join Sara on her little holiday."

Sara was already standing close to Khan. Then the sociopath reached his hand around Sara's waist and pulled her closer to him. His hand firmly fixed in that dip of her body - her back resting against his chest. It was easier than Sara liked to admit to let her body relax into Khan's.

"What kind of work do you do?" The officer went fishing – none too subtly - for information.

Khan's face remained calm and collected. "My experience is in management. Although, right now, I am in between jobs."

"So, you're unemployed." Officer Jerry thinly tried to hide his smirk.

Khan's eyes grew hard, the mask almost dropping at the officer's insult. "Not for long."

Sara placed her hand over Khan's and stepped in to try to keep his composure. "John's also an athlete. He does a lot of endurance and stamina regimes."

"Oh, I see." The officer's expression sank at that. Although a policeman, Jerry was on the flabby side. Before he could think of anything else to say, Ms. Ludie and Officer Mike came back into the kitchen with the coffee and donuts. "Well, Ms. Sara, always a pleasure to see you again." His eyes looked down into Sara's hoping for a sign that he still had a chance. He didn't get one. "John, it was nice to meet you."

"Excellent to meet you as well, officer." Khan smiled.

Just before the door was to close behind them, Officer Jerry stopped. "Sara," he called back to them. "Can I see you a minute?

She slid Khan's hand off her waist and whispered. "If I don't go, he'll suspect something."

"Stay in the house." Khan commanded.

"Agreed." When she reached Jerry, he pulled her aside into the living room out of Khan's sight.

"Well?" Sara was annoyed. The police were almost gone but she feared that Jerry's persistence would get himself killed.

"What about us?" Jerry did his best to glare and to intimidate; but, he was no Khan. And Sara had no qualms about hurting his feelings. In fact, she would have to hurt his heart in order to save his life. But, there was no way to do this with kindness – even if she had wanted to.

"Us? What us? There is no _us_." Sara made a crossing movement in front with her arms to emphasize the fact.

Jerry refused to let up. "What about that night in Jackson?"

Sara took a deep, cleansing breath and prayed against hope that Khan wasn't listening. "I was drunk. Besides, I can't do relationships anymore. I told you that up front."

Jerry pointed to the kitchen where Khan was. "Is he the one who hurt you? Don't go back to him, Sara. Please."

"He's not my ex-husband. And, I'm not choosing him over you. I can't have kids. You want kids. So there's an end of it."

"What about him – doesn't he want kids?"

"No. I don't know." Sara shook her head. "The one thing I do know is that he accepts the fact that I don't do relationships. At the end of the day, I can't have normal life anymore. I've lost too much. So has he."

"So you're just going to stay in a loveless relationship because it's safe. He wants you as a prize not as a person . . . "

Sara cut him off and grinned ruefully, "There is nothing safe about John."

"Well, that's just it then, isn't it." Jerry shook his head arrogantly.

"What?" Sara narrowed her eyes. She had a feeling that this wasn't going to go well. She was right.

"He's this dangerous guy, and you're just going to be his _whore_."

Sara's slap to Jerry's face stung but was nothing compared to Ms. Ludie's cane hitting the back of his knee. He instantly dropped to the floor.

"Jerry Raines, you get the hell out of my house. That's the last coffee you'll get from me, young man. And just wait till I tell your mother the language you use towards a lady."

Jerry struggled to his feet. "Ms. Ludie, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize to me, you moron. Apologize to Sara."

Jerry remained quiet.

"I don't want an apology, Ms. Ludie. I . . . just want him to go." Sara's voice was soft and low, but her shaking hands betrayed her emotions.

"You heard Sara. Leave. Now." This came from Khan who'd suddenly appeared at Sara's side. His normalcy mask was gone, and he was Khan again. "Know that if you ever harass her again, policeman or no, I will kill you."

"I could arrest you for threatening an officer of the law."

Khan immediately countered in his coldest and deadliest voice. "I could snap your neck in seconds. Guess which one would happen first."

Jerry swallowed. "I'll just be going, Ms. Ludie. I'd appreciate it if you didn't speak to Ma."

"And I'd have appreciated it if you hadn't been an ass. But, we'll both have to settle for what we got."

With a defeated air, Officer Jerry breathed out, "Yes, Ms. Ludie."

Once both police cars were gone, Ms. Ludie and Khan looked at Sara, who straightened her back and without meeting their eyes muttered, "If you'll excuse me for a few minutes." She walked calmly into the bathroom. Khan heard the door lock behind her. She had never attempted to lock him out before.

Khan turned to consider Ms. Ludie. He might have to reevaluate her. Anyone who could use a cane like that earned at least a token of his respect.

Ms. Ludie gazed at that door with moisture in her eyes.

"Boy, if Sara ain't out in five minutes, you need to open that door."

He looked down on the small, elderly woman. "I have no key."

"Neither do I. Lost it years ago." Ms. Ludie sat down in living room in her rocking chair. She pointed her cane at the door. "Break it down if you have to."

"Why?"

She looked at Khan with an appraising eye. "What has Sara actually told you about herself?"

Khan rolled through the list of facts. "She was given a vaccine. It sterilized her. Her husband left her. She wanted children."

"Lot of stress to put on a person. Has she told you how she's dealt with it?"

"She has told me of how she plans to proceed."

"Ain't the same thing, hun." Ms. Ludie sighed, "I'd be lying if I said I know what she's gone through, but I just don't understand it myself."

"Understand what?"

"How she could do it."

Now, he was getting irritated. Why wouldn't she just come out and say it? "Do what?" Khan spit out in exasperation.

"Cut herself, boy. Our Sara is a cutter."

* * *

Many thanks to SharkGurl, Finfy, Korvescence, Elliesmeow, WarriorDragonElf54, DanAlaya, Absinthe Verte, ShimmeringWater, loquaciouslethality, Amyndria and LovelyAngelYuukie for those lovely reviews. Thanks so much, guys.

For the 32 people who have favourited and the 88 alerts – cheers and thanks! All your support keeps me going!


	7. Grabbing

**This Chapter:**

**Trigger – Discussion of self-harm. Also, sex in this one.**

M for more vibrant language, more mature themes, and sexually mature scenes.

I don't own Star Trek, more's the pity. Only my original character and plot line.

* * *

Loss

Ch 7 – Grabbing

* * *

Right as Ms. Ludie said, "Our Sara is a cutter," the bathroom door swung open; and Sara stepped through it. She looked from the old woman to the sociopath. Sara's eyes were slightly reddened but the rest of her face was collected. However, it quickly changed from cooling calm to rising rage as she processed the content of their conversation.

"When you two old ladies are finished _gossiping_,John, I'll be in the Subie – ready to go."

Before Sara could walk away, Khan lunged forward grabbing her left wrist hard and turning it up to where he could examine it. There were no lines there – not even old ones. Then he turned his attention to the other one. Again, no signs of cutting.

Ms. Ludie stood up and walked into the kitchen. "You two young'uns work this out. I'll go make breakfast."

Sara tried to struggle out of his grip, but Khan was steadfast in his handling of her. The superior man refused to let the damaged woman go.

"Explain this to me." Khan's tone was cold, demanding, and not to be refused. His eyes not letting her look away.

Finally, Sara began, "Ms. Ludie is right. I . . . have a history of cutting. But that history is not relevant to our situation. What I do to my body is no concern of yours. Also, you must think very little of me if you believe I'm going to cut myself over that hick of a wanker. More importantly, Knoxville is still no closer than it was yesterday and, I, for one, want to see this thing finished." Her tone went from admitting to defensive to evasive in one breath.

"_Where _do you cut yourself?"

"Not your concern." Sara tried to look away – wanting to avoid his eyes.

He jerked her wrists down bringing her attention back to him. "It is my concern. If you are not mentally balanced, then you are of no help to me."

The look on her face went from aloofly detached to incredulous. "Mentally balanced? That's rich coming from a sociopath. And, what about you? Offering to kill two men for me in less than twenty-four hours. Maybe you are going soft."

He rankled at her accusation. "I said that to scare off your boyfriend not because I care about you." Khan finished his sentence almost growling.

She shook her head and grimaced through her teeth. "_Not_ my boyfriend."

Khan pulled her close. "Who do you _fuck_ if not your boyfriend?" He hissed into her ear. Partly for effect, partly to avoid Ms. Ludie's attention. If the old woman got upset over the word 'whore', she'd fly off the handle at 'fuck'. And, he'd rather not get her back in the conversation just now.

If those words had been said by anyone else but Khan, Sara would have thought they showed jealousy. But this was Khan. There was no way Khan could be jealous concerning her.

She calmed her breath. "I made a mistake. Seems like it's not the only one I've made recently. Maybe I should have just left you in that warehouse to die." Khan looked at her questioningly. "Your pod was malfunctioning. If I hadn't done CPR, that's what would have happened."

Khan searched her face for lies and didn't find any. "I did not realize. The stasis process leaves the first few minutes of awakening a blur. But you will still explain about the cutting." He released her wrists, and she rubbed them gingerly before speaking.

She looked at the floor as she spoke, and Khan allowed it. "At first I did it to feel something again. I was just so numb over everything that had happened. I had lost my husband, my unborn child, and the ability to ever have children. Pain was better than nothing. Then I discovered who was responsible for what was done to me."

"And?"

Sara's eyes rose and met Khan's with a ferocity he had never seen before. "The thought of inflicting pain on them took the place of inflicting it on myself. I've been through too much of it. It's time for someone else to suffer."

Khan nodded in agreement. "How did the old woman find out?"

"In a moment of weakness, I bought some blades and put them in my handbag. When I came to house-sit, I dropped my bag and all the contents spilled out. Ms. Ludie saw the blades and took them from me."

Khan said, almost to himself, "You should have been stronger."

"Well, I wasn't. I'm not a super human devoid of all feelings or emotions."

"That is what you think of me?" Khan tilted his head considering her.

"Tell me one time, since I've known you that you've demonstrated a real emotion – not one fabricated to get you out of a situation. And, you've made it all too clear that you care nothing about me."

"That last part is true. What I do _care_ about is making the ones who murdered my family pay. When they were destroyed, the only emotion left to me was hatred. Is that not an emotion dear to your own heart? Any tender feelings I had died with them. You should be grateful that what feelings remain with me do not extend to you." His voice grew in intensity as he spoke.

It took her a moment to process his words. Then she nodded. "Fine. Actually, fine. I'm glad we had this little talk. It's good to get all this out in the open before we get on the road."

"Where you cut yourself: you still have not answered me."

"That's true . . . "

He paused giving her a chance to speak.

"And, I'm not going to."

"How will I tell you if you start again?"

"You won't. Besides, you don't really care if I'm hurting myself. You just care about the mission and possibly esthetics. I want this mission to be successful just as much as you do. And, I'm not stupid enough to cut myself where it's easily visible. Trust me, those marks will _never_ be on view to you. I won't darken your vision with any more imperfection than what you are already forced to deal with."

Khan glowered at her as his voice darkened. "We shall see."

"Breakfast, you two." Ms. Ludie called from the kitchen.

"No, thank you, Ms. Ludie. We've got to be going." Sara called back to her.

Khan contradicted her. "Do not listen to Sara. We are coming."

She turned to Khan surprised, "What? You don't need to eat."

"But you do. This will keep us from having to stop."

"Ok. I hope you know what you're in for, Khan."

He looked at her without saying anything. As they sat down at the table, Ms. Ludie placed plates filled with scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon, and grits in front of them. Sara enjoyed the puzzled expression on Khan's face.

"I don't think John's ever had grits, Ms. Ludie."

The old lady slapped him on the back as she put a cup of coffee down in front of him. "Well, boy, you're in for an experience."

* * *

Sara said her goodbyes to Ms. Ludie and climbed into the driver's seat. As Khan made his way to the passenger side, the old woman stopped him by placing her cane out in front of him.

"You take care of her, young man."

He looked down at the old lady. "Sara is an adult. She has the capacity to take care of herself."

"That may be, but she also thinks the world of you."

"I highly doubt it."

"That's because you're stupid. Trust me, that girl hardly smiled before you showed up. She don't wanna admit it - just like you don't wanna admit that you like her too."

"You do not know me."

"Your eyes change when you look at her - when she's not watching you. Yes, you like Sara. And, I may not know a lot of things in this world; but I know people, boy. And you two idiots are made for each other."

* * *

Khan watched the scenery flash by his window. He was not impressed. "We are not traveling south."

"Good observation."

"But our destination is Knoxville. We should be heading for Interstate – 40 – which is south of here."

"Yes it is, but no we're not."

"Explain."

Sara spoke without taking her eyes off the road. "When the people who own the warehouse realize what information we have, they will be watching I-40. What they won't be watching are the series of roads that run across the lower portion of Kentucky. Besides, according to what I've read, Nashville is a bitch to get through. And I quote, 'Whoever designed that crazy-ass interstate system should be taken out and shot'."

"Do not look at me to offer assistance on that account."

The right side of Sara's lips curved. "No worries, Khan, no worries."

* * *

Sara kept driving, and everything was quiet. However, she kept glancing back to her rear view mirror and the area around her. When no one was in sight, she pulled over.

"Khan, do us a favour and help me with this."

"What?"

"We're changing plates. Swapping a Tennessee tag for a Kentucky one. If anyone is looking for my Subie from the warehouse incident, they'll expect it to have tags from Tennessee."

They both got out of the car, and Sara rummaged around for the right plate.

"How many plates do you have?" Khan queried.

"How many states are in the Union?"

"Fifty."

"And, there's your answer."

"You are prepared for this."

"Well, I prefer to have a plans; and if possible, back up plans."

"Plans are good, but you must always be willing to improvise."

"Says the man who ended up frozen – twice."

* * *

While lunch was easily skipped; eventually, they did have to stop for dinner. By this time, the Subie had done many miles past the Kentucky border. They found a descent looking roadside restaurant and seated themselves to a small table facing the door.

An annoyingly thin waitress eyeballed Khan. Her breasts were big; her stomach was tight; her waist was tiny. Sara hated her immediately. When Khan went to the toilet, she brought them their drinks and said conversationally, "Hey, your boyfriend's kinda tasty."

Sara continued to stare at the menu. "Not my boyfriend."

"Oh, really?" Was her coy reply.

Throughout the dinner, the waitress tried to flirt. However, Khan seemed oblivious to her intentions. In fact, Sara found it hard to hide a smile as the waitress slowly became frustrated. As they finished their meal, the waitress came back to take away some plates and tried a more direct approach. She leaned down whispering something in Khan's ear. His eyes reacted first as the expression then grew into an arrogant smirk. He stood up to follow her.

Khan said coolly, not even looking at Sara, "I will not be long."

"You're going to get off with that slut? You've got to be kidding."

He glanced down at her, "Remember, Sara, 'what I do to my body is no concern of yours'."

'You complete and total bastard,' Sara thought. He actually had the nerve to throw her own words back at her.

In the lone bathroom of the restaurant, the waitress waited for Khan to enter then turned around and locked the door after him. She leaned up and tried to kiss his lips. He moved his mouth away.

"No kissing," he instructed.

She looked disappointed until Khan started moving his hands down her body unbuttoning her shirt as he went. With the stare he was giving her, he'd turned her expression from lust into a deer in the headlights.

"Everything else is acceptable," he hissed.

She scrambled for his trousers and slid her hand down into them. "Wow!" was all her limited vocabulary could muster feeling the magnitude of Khan's length as she pulled him out. Khan spun the girl around till she was facing the mirror. She rested her arms on the sink for support as he violently ripped her nickers from under her short skirt and entered her in a swift movement. Her only preparation being the ample wetness she had already generated.

Starting to scream out, Khan wrapped his hand around her mouth. This was not about taking one's time. This was not about tenderness. This was a hard, fast shag in a diner toilet.

As Khan felt himself tightening, he closed his eyes. It had been so long, and he was so close. Just as he felt himself explode, he opened his eyes. But, for some reason, he didn't see the room. He didn't see the girl he'd just fucked. (Her legs had turned to jelly, and she was panting on the toilet floor.) In his mind's eye, Khan saw the face of the dark eyed woman who'd been his companion for the last few days. His imagination conjured up her expression of anger and hurt and sadness. In the last throws of his passion, Khan's mind thought of Sara.

He stared at himself in the mirror trying to figure out what had just happened. Realizing it was too complex of a problem to deal with at the moment, he tidied himself up and left the waitress without a word.

When Khan went back to the table, Sara was no where to be seen. However, he saw where she had left money on the table to pay for the meal. Walking out of the restaurant, Khan found Sara looking at the sunset – her back to him.

"Ready to go?" She said it without feeling.

"Yes." Was his only reply.

Just as Sara opened the driver's door, the waitress emerged from the diner yelling after her, "Hey, skank, where's my tip?!"

Sara turned on her heel and hissed through gritted teeth, "Oh, no, you didn't."

* * *

**Lot's of stuff in this one – partly to make up for some of the shorter chapters – partly because this seems the natural place to end the scene. I try to keep my chapters consistent length, but sometimes they decide to end themselves at a particular place.**

**Anyway, I hope you all liked this one. Cheers!**

**To: LovelyAngelYuuki, SharkGurl, GRuth, Aista, Lolo93091, WarriorDragonElf54, NeedanEscape18, Elliesmeow, priestessofeternity, Finfy, DanAlaya, loquaciouslethality, ShadowFire225, Korvescence, silentxangel, and cats for your lovely and encouraging reviews – much gratitude for your kind words.**

**To the 40 of you who favourite and the 108 (I can't believe it's in triple digits!) who alert – many thanks for your support.**

**Tsora17**


	8. Holding

**This Chapter:**

**Quite a bit of language in this one (but who can blame me? - Sara is pissed) and violence (you know you'd be disappointed if there wasn't).**

M for more vibrant language, more mature themes, and sexually mature scenes. I don't own Star Trek, more's the pity. Only my original characters and plot line.

I have responded to some of your questions at the end of the chapter. However, be warned there are **spoilers to the film in the response section**.

* * *

Loss

Ch 8 - Holding

* * *

Holding her chin high, Sara slowly walked back to the waitress who was standing in front of the restaurant door. The dark haired woman kept her steps measured and prolonged – making the waitress wait. She reached into her pockets and fumbled for change as a delaying tactic. However, she stopped before she could be seen by the other patrons of the restaurant through the windows. No sense in drawing a crowd. The waitress, in her haughty annoyance, took a few steps closer to her.

And that was the waitress's first mistake.

Sara launched her right arm and backhanded the waitress hitting her left eye. The thin woman hit the ground. Sara simply stared down at the slut.

"Skank? _You_ are calling me a skank? I'm not the one who just fucked a total stranger in the toilet."

"Only because he wouldn't have you." The waitress spat back. However, in her concentration on having a verbal comeback, the woman chose not to take the opportunity to regain her legs. Again – another mistake.

Sara sank down reaching for a fistful of the woman's bleached out hair pulling it roughly and forcing her head up. Securing her to the tarmac with a well place knee that ground into the bitch's back, Sara continued.

"You see that man over there?" Sara indicated towards Khan wiggling her index finger. "You may have just fucked him, but he's going to stand there and watch me beat the shit out of you. You want to know why? Because he doesn't care. About you – about me even, if I'm to tell you the truth. All he cares about is himself and his revenge. At one point in my life, I might have let that bother me. But not now. You see, I've been through so much shit recently that I'm coming to think of it as one of life's little lessons. A lesson that I wouldn't wish on anyone – not even a slut like you. You do, however, need a lesson in manners. Greed is not a pretty sight. You had your choice between two tips – and you . . . chose . . . his. That means that if you think I'm going to pay you another goddam cent than you've got another mother-fucking-thing coming. Now, are you ready? You've already been fucked tonight. Let's see how you like being fucked up."

With her hand securely wound in the woman's hair, Sara knocked the waitress's head back and forth repeatedly into the hard surface. While Sara's words had been calm and cool, her actions allowed her to release all the rage that had been building up in her body. Somewhere in her consciousness, she knew that her movements were quick, but everything seemed to blur. Later, if Khan was to ask her how many times she'd driven the waitress's head into the ground, Sara wouldn't be able to give him a number.

Suddenly, she felt her hand being held fast. Looking up, Sara saw Khan standing over them.

"Killing her will only bring unwanted attention. Remember your larger goal." His voice was deep and largely emotionless. However, Sara detected a change in the timbre of his voice. Khan almost sounded pleased.

Sara's eyes went down to the woman underneath her. The waitress's face was now bloodied and the only sound coming from her was a low groan.

"Very well." Was all Sara said before rising in one smooth movement walking away from the waitress without looking back.

* * *

As they continued driving, Sara looked sideways over at Khan. "You did that on purpose – set up a scene – to what – to gauge my reactions?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Remember your own words as to why you were goading me earlier? _'__Because I've never met someone with your interesting balance of intensity, intellect, and temper. It's fun to see which one wins out'_."

"Those were my words. So?"

"Our answers are the same."

"Oh." Sara had to take a minute to process Khan's meaning. Again, this felt like it was Khan's way of complementing her. But why would the sociopath praise her? She was already doing what he asked of her. She decided to push a little further, "What conclusions have you made?"

"Your rage does you credit. But, I must teach you the finer points of combat."

"Would you?"

"We shall start tomorrow."

Sara kept glancing at Khan's face. There was still something he hadn't said yet. "So, any other thoughts as to what just happened?"

"One point of curiosity. Did your response result from her insults . . . or my actions?"

"Khan, who you screw is not my business."

"That could be the truth. Or this could simply be a way of protecting yourself."

"From what?"

"From me." Khan's voice grew darker taking on a predatory tone. "From interacting on a certain level with any male who has an IQ higher than a basic primate. That's why you lowered yourself when you fucked the policeman."

"Jesus, not that again. Besides, it's not like you can talk. Don't talk to me about 'lowering myself'. Not after you screwed the first tart to offer herself to you."

"Do not our actions make us equal then?" For the first time, a true smile formed briefly on Khan's well defined lips. "On moral grounds only, you understand. In every other respect, I am still superior to you."

Sara sighed. "I'm not answering that."

"Why?"

"I think your ego, IQ, and cock have already been stroked enough for one night." Try as she might, Sara could not suppress a yawn. "We need to find a place to sleep."

Once they found a hotel and parked, Khan began giving directions, " One room. It will be cheaper and if we are attacked, we will be more likely to stay together. I can protect you better."

"I don't need protecting."

Khan simply glared at her. Right now, she was too tired to argue.

"Ok, one room, but two beds though."

"One bed. If we are to keep up the facade of being a couple, we need one bed."

"What do you mean 'couple'? You just fucked a waitress in the toilet of a diner not twenty miles down the road. That hardly suggests that we are 'couple'."

"One bed."

"Ok," Sara grumbled, "but you're sleeping on the fucking couch."

* * *

Sara was grateful for the heat and water coming down on top of her. Washing the blood off her knuckles gave her a mixture of perverse satisfaction. She was not a violent person at heart; but after what she'd lost during the last years, Sara was determined not to be a push over any more. Seeing the waitress's blood go down the drain had a surprisingly calming effect on her.

While Sara showered, Khan settled onto the couch with the laptop. He knew that she'd done research on Knoxville and wanted to know what she'd found before he asked her about it. The sociopath was finding it harder and harder not to like the wild haired woman. But, he'd been betrayed too many times by 'inferiors' to trust that she'd be honest with him about everything.

When she emerged, still moist and glistening in her tank top and shorts, Khan called out to her, "Tell me about Knoxville."

She walked over to the couch, still drying her hair with a small towel, "Our pharmaceutical company is taking an old adage too close to heart."

"Which one?"

"If you want to hide something..."

"Do it in plain sight."

"Exactly. What do you know of a structure call the Sun Sphere?"

"Nothing."

"It was built for the 1982 World's Fair and has become one of Knoxville's most recognized symbols. Locals affectionately call it, 'The Golf Ball'."

"And it's purpose?"

"That's just it. It's never had a true purpose. It's gone from one failed scheme to another. Doesn't that remind you of something?"

"The warehouse built with no company ready to use it."

"For my money, everything tells me that my vaccine vials are there. And, if the vials are there, it's possible we can get some answers for you as well."

Khan nodded his head. As she turned to go, he grabbed her hand for a moment making her stop. Applying no pressure, Khan simply held her hand as he looked up to her.

"What is it?"

"Thank you. For telling me the truth. Not many normal people ever do that."

A small smile crept up to her lips and her voice went soft. "Khan, whoever told you I was normal – now they're the ones telling lies."

* * *

She climbed into bed and closed her eyes. As she drifted off to sleep, she was vaguely aware that Khan took a shower as well. After a while, Sara felt the air around her shift in some way – almost imperceptible. Then she opened her eyes to find Khan clad only in a pair of tight fitting thigh hugging shorts standing only inches away from her head. While Sara prided herself on the depth of her imagination, the sight of Khan in front of her in such a manner left her with no use for it.

"Do you still wish me to remain on the couch?"

"I think it's best – don't you?" She couldn't keep from staring; but at the same time, wouldn't dare to meet his eyes.

"I am used to taking what I want."

"Yes, but you can't tell me that the power rush you get from taking is the same as when something is given freely. Of course, you have the raw power to take. But, I am asking you to respect my wishes."

Khan kept his face a mask as he moved over to the couch and laid down. While sleep does not always claim him, this night he fell to it quickly. He dreamed of his defeats: his exile from Earth and losing his people. Then he dreamed of Sara.

In the morning, when he awoke, Khan knew something was wrong. Scanning the room he realized what it was: the bed was empty - Sara was gone.

* * *

**Thanks so much to the 129 who have alerted and the 55 who have favourited. You guys are great.**

**Many many humble thanks to the gracious people who have been commenting:**

**WarriorDragonElf54, Korvescence, Animalfeelings, priestessofeternity, Elliesmeow, ShimmeringWater, Paper-Knights, . , Finfy, SharkGurl, Casbriel, AnadoraBlack, DanAlaya, Mermaid19, kaia, AussieMalestrom, Maddy Love Castiel, Lorna Roxen, silentxangel, norahmars, Guest, I'llLightUpTheSky4You**

**I have tried to respond to some of your comments below. If you haven't seen the film, there will be spoilers.**

**To ShimmeringWater – sometimes sanity is overrated.**

**To Paper-Knights & DanAlaya– grits is a ground-corn food usually eaten at breakfast and flavoured with bacon or sausage grease and butter. I know it may sound really foreign, but it is quite good.**

**To Finfy – thank you for your lovely words of support. You are very kind.**

**To SharkGurl – in my mind, I suppose I imagined that the waitress's boss heard their encounter and fired her – another reason why she is mad about not getting a tip. I didn't add it because I was afraid it would take away the flow of the chapter.**

**To DanAlaya – I agree that the last chapter was a sad one. But I believe that it is simply part of writing a story like this. There has to be some downs before there can be ups. Hope that this chapter is a bit more up – at least till the last line. Hey, I've got to keep the tension going, don't I?**

**To Lorna Roxen – Well, we are traveling in that direction – in a round-about way – so you never know. Chattanooga may find a way into it.**

**To norahmars – r.e. - ch 1. - in my mind, Khan believes that his people are still dead. After Spock dropped his butt, they never revived him to tell him his people are alive. They simply took his blood. So when he wakes up, he believes that he is the last of the augments.**

**To I'llLightUpTheSky4You – r.e . - ch 1 – Sara was in her early 20s during the time Khan was in power – the mid-90s. She simply recognized him.**


	9. Imagining

**This Chapter:**

**Triggers - **

**Violence – lots of it. Non-con and rape situations – (Don't get too worried – it's not what you think).**

Struggling with this chapter trying to ensure that they stay in character. I always thought this one would be hardest to write - and so far, it is. But, I honestly believe that this is how Sara and Khan would react to the situation I've thrown at them. I know, I know. I am a mean, mean woman.

I don't own Star Trek, more's the pity. Only my original characters and plot line.

* * *

Loss

Ch 9 - Imagining

* * *

Khan felt his fury boiling within him. After everything they'd been through, the thought of Sara leaving him stung with betrayal. He hadn't felt this hurt since one of his own kind had sided against him in the wars of the 90s. Betrayal from regular people he expected and accepted easily, but he had begun to trust Sara. Khan's emotions since awakening had been limited, bleak, and numb. Now, hurt flooded through him raw and painful with the idea that Sara had abandoned him.

Before this, Khan simply told himself that he was using Sara for his own ends. Even his attempt to seduce her the night before sprang from the reawakening of his own biological needs. With this much hatred flowing through his veins, Khan finally had to admit to himself that Sara meant something to him. Now, if she really had left him, he would hunt her down and destroy her in a way that he saved only for his most reviled enemies.

He took his rage out on the small table beside the couch. As his fists bore down breaking it into thousands of little pieces, Khan noticed a piece of paper floating in the air. He caught it easily in his hand. It read: "Gone for a walk – 6 am. Will be back in one hour - Sara."

Khan looked at the clock. It was now 8am.

Quickly donning his clothes, he grabbed the car keys and headed out the door. A multitude of scenarios played in his mind of why Sara was not back yet. None of them good.

* * *

The night before:

How the hell was she supposed to get back to sleep after having Khan's manhood mere inches from her face? It was as if all the hormones in her body were set off at once and were fighting against her will.

It would have been so easy to simply have given in to him.

Instead, she fought an interior battle the rest of the night. Her body stayed still but her mind ran circles. Khan had just admitted that he wanted her sexually. But the question was: why? Was it just because she was convenient or did he have other motives? Imagining what would have happened had she given in kept her awake as well. It was pure torture.

Although she finally slept for a few hours, Sara still felt restless and on edge when she awoke. Turning herself around in bed, the woman watched the superior man asleep on the couch. It would have been so easy to walk over to him and give him a very nice wake-up call. But her determined mind stopped her. She had to protect herself emotionally above all things. Being with Khan was dangerous to her life, and Sara still fully expected him to be the cause of her death. But, she'd be damned if she'd parade in front of him as some emotionally desperate inferior fool.

There was only one answer for it now, she needed to go for a walk.

* * *

Once in the Subie, Khan took an educated guess as to which direction Sara headed. He turned out of the parking lot to the right and drove east – into the daylight. Sara would never had walked into the darkness.

As he drove, Khan's mind raced as to why he was acting so concerned and out of character. He cataloged recent events. Sara had carried him from the warehouse without even knowing who he was. Sara had stood by him even after realizing he was Khan. She had been honest. She had killed for him. When he had tried to rile her anger towards him, Sara would not simply back down in fear. Sara had even shown sympathy when he spoke of his lost family. He could not imagine anyone else acting as she did. To the rest of the world, he was a villain. But Sara saw him for what he was, and she accepted him.

No one had ever done that before. With all the lands that he had conquered and people he had met, everyone had a secret motive. But not Sara. Yes, she wanted her own revenge, but again, that was part of her charm. Sara was intelligent, cunning, and kind – a strange mixture that Khan was unsure would ever be seen again. A strange knot formed in his chest. He had to see Sara again. He had to find her. And when he did, she had better be unharmed. He finally admitted to himself that the dark eyed, dark haired woman had made an impact in his heart.

Almost a mile down the road, Khan saw fresh skid marks swerve off to the right. He pulled over and stepped out. Patterns on the graveled ground indicated someone being dragged into a vehicle. The worst part about it was that there was no sign of a struggle. If he had learned nothing else about Sara, it was this: she was a fighter. She would have to be knocked out or impaired in some way to keep from struggling.

Someone had captured Sara. Khan's blood started to burn and a ferocious look flew to his face turning his steel blue eyes into testaments of his rage.

If the captors had returned to the highway, the chances of finding them diminished greatly. However, instead of turning back to the road, the tire tracks continued into the field disappearing in the wooded area behind it. He looked at the terrain he'd have to follow and thanked Sara for her choice in vehicles. A regular SUV would have had problems. But this is what the Subie was made for.

* * *

As Sara walked out of the hotel parking lot, she failed to notice three men sitting in a truck across the road.

"There she is! That must be the bitch that beat up my Amy." Snarled Tommy – a muscular country boy whose loves in life were his truck, his gun, and his girlfriend – in that particular order. He moved to start the engine.

"Not just yet, Tommy. We need to wait till she's walked a while. We'll catch her outside the city limit and take her to the back of my dad's place. It'll be quiet and we'll have all the time we need." Amy's younger brother, Jason, palmed himself through his tight jeans.

"How we gonna git rid of 'er when we're done?" Tommy asked, never taking his eyes off of Sara walking away from them.

"Don't worry about that," Amy's older brother, Ed, spoke up. "We've got plenty of axes up at the camp. We'll have our fun with the skank and then hack her up. From what Amy said, the man she's with doesn't give a shit about her. You got your tranquiler darts, bro?

"Sure thing, Ed."

An evil grin grew across Ed's face, "Boys, this will be easier than cow tippin'."

* * *

As Sara was enjoying her walk, she let her mind clear. By the time she planned to be back at the hotel, she would be refreshed and refocused. No matter how attractive or tempting Khan tried to be, Sara would stay strong.

She heard the roar of the truck engine before feeling the sting of the dart in her left thigh. Falling to the ground, her last regretful thought was, 'Khan will think I've runaway.'

While fear is a thing born of the mind, Sara had to admit that it had found a welcome home in the pit of her stomach. As she woke, Sara discovered that she was outside strapped down to a table - her wrists bound together above her head just as her ankles were bound apart. Sara couldn't tell how much time had passed. She kept her eyes closed and listened to the voices of three different men.

"Tell me again, why we ain't cuttin' her now?" Tommy asked. Since he'd finished cleaning and readying his rifle, he was getting antsy.

"We want her to suffer, Tommy. Just like she's made Amy suffer. Besides, fuckin', cuttin', and guttin' her while she's asleep ain't no fun at all." Ed added as if from prior personal experience.

"We'll how long's it gonna take for that tranquilizer to wear off, Jason? I'm bored."

"Shouldn't be longer than another hour – tops." Jason said getting annoyed at Tommy. "Relax. This bitch ain't goin' nowhere. Grab a beer and sit down."

Somehow Sara found the composure to keep her eyes shut and stall for time. She didn't know why she really bothered though. She knew Khan would never come for her.

Finally, all three men got bored; and Ed threw a bucket of cold creek water in Sara's face. She gasped from the sting of it. Still clothed, Sara doubted she would remain that way for long from the looks given to her by the three men hovering above her.

Sara closed her eyes – willing her breath to calm. She accepted ruefully that she would die here. But, she regretted that Khan would think badly of her; she regretted that she hadn't been brave enough to find out what Khan really thought of her; she regretted that she'd never properly told him how she felt.

Then she became annoyed with herself. After all her dealings with the sociopath and acceptance for a death by his hand, the fact that three red-neck pricks were going to torture her and end her life angered her greatly.

"Open your eyes, skank." Tommy ordered.

Sara refused – determined not to give any response.

"Open your eyes, or I'll cut 'em out." Ed demanded letting Sara feel the tip of his knife trace around her eye.

Sara obeyed.

"That's better. I've been told you like beating up waitresses. So here's what we're going to do. All three of us are going to take your sorry pussy as many times as we want. Then we're going to kill you."

Ed ran his knife down the front of her shirt slicing off one button after another. Soon her shirt was off, her bra sliced in half, and her jeans and knickers cut off. Just as Ed started sliding down his zipper, Sara heard the unmistakable sound of the Subie's flat four engine. A moment later her Subie appeared, and Khan stepped out.

"Can anybody play?" Khan smiled and asked cordially.

"Who are you?" Tommy leveled his rifle at Khan.

"Oh, just the man who's been putting up with this frigid bitch for far too long. You couldn't expect me to let you boys have all the fun."

Jason looked at Khan and smiled. He turned back to his brother. "Ed, I think this guy is ok." He walked up to Khan with his hand extended in mutual perverse friendship. The younger brother's misconception ended quickly as Khan spun him around locking his hands on top of Jason's head in a vice.

Now Khan's entire voice and demeanor changed. The mild facade was gone replaced with the all his warrior's rage. "Let her go, or I crush his skull." The words came from his voice in a growl – dark, dangerous, and feral.

"That's . . . bullshit, man. No one . . . can do that!" Tommy's words attempted to be calm, but his voice belied his panic.

Khan applied pressure to the Jason's cranium. The scream was high and echoed in the small hollow.

"Ok, ok. You sick fuck," Ed addressed Khan then turned to his sister's boyfriend, "Let her go, Tommy."

Tommy cut through her bonds. Sara scrambled away from her captors and trembling made her way back to the Subie. This time she climbed into the passenger side locking the doors immediately upon closing.

Now she watched Khan in all his glory.

"Ok. She's in your car. Now let him go." Ed demanded.

A look of serenity came over Khan's face. Now that Sara was safe, he could enjoy this. The growl was replaced by the velvet tones of his sadism. "Oh, you poor intellect deprived little people. I never said I'd let him go."

With that, Khan's hands went from crushing force to blinding speed – snapping the man's neck as easily as he would snap his fingers. The younger brother sank to the ground lifeless.

"See. I kept my word. I did not crush his head."

Both men yelled in unison watching Jason fall. Then they attacked Khan at the same time - Ed with the knife that had just been held at Sara's throat while Tommy aimed his rifle at Khan's chest. Khan sidestepped Tommy's clumsy shot, disarmed the man of his gun, and fired the second shot straight into his stomach. Tommy fell to his knees. Ed came at him next. The sociopath gripped the knife welding man's wrist. Squeezing so hard, he made Ed drop the knife. Khan caught the blade in his other hand and sliced Ed's throat open in one smooth movement.

Both men were not dead yet, but that's just as Khan wanted them. They had dared to attack Sara and tried to make her suffer. Now they would know what true suffering was. Khan grabbed the rifle and bludgeoned each man's brains into pulp with the butt of it. Taking turns – first hitting one and then the other. Drawing out their pain for as long as he could.

When Khan was finished, he gathered all three bodies together, set them on fire, and washed his hands off in the small creek.

* * *

Sara watched it all with wide open eyes.

Only as he stood in front of the Subie's driver's door did Sara unlock it. He slid into the driver's seat.

When he realized that Sara was still naked, he went to the boot pulling out a blanket. Handing it to her without a word, Khan diverted his eyes as Sara covered herself.

Settling back into the car, both he and Sara watched as the men's bodies burned.

Khan rested his hands on the steering wheel, and Sara looked over at him as if in a daze. Tentatively, she reached out for Khan's right hand gathering it into her own. It was so much larger than hers. She ran her hands reverently over every inch of his fingers, nails, and the broad muscular span of flesh that was his palm.

Sara continued to stare at his hand as she held it. This hand that could bring such violence, death, and destruction. This hand had protected and killed for her. She brought his hand up to her mouth and kissed the back of it gently – on top of his knuckles.

Khan looked at her but remained very still as not to startle her. However, his eyes betrayed his shock at her actions.

When she finally met his eyes, she simply said, "Thank you."

She continued to hold his hand caressing it as they watched the three men burn. Eventually, the sun was setting. Khan put out the smoldering flames and covered the ashes to keep any other flames from starting.

* * *

When they returned to the hotel room, Khan ushered Sara still wrapped in her blanket through the door. He looked at all the shattered fragments of wood that littered the ground and then at Sara's bare feet.

"Stop. I will place you on the couch." Khan guided his arms underneath Sara's knees and back lifting her without any real effort. She was in and out of his arms quicker than she could register. Once she was safe on the sofa, Khan began to clean the area. She watched him quietly. Beginning at the door, Khan slowly made his way closer to her.

Only when he was on his knees beside the sofa did she speak.

"You came for me."

Khan brought his head up looking into her eyes. "You doubted me." It was a statement – not a question.

"I . . . you had all the information on Knoxville that I had. You had the Subie – you didn't need me anymore. You put yourself at risk and delayed your mission – for me."

Khan stayed silent – not knowing how to respond. Sara looked at the broken bits of wood around her. Her brain slowly processing the scene.

"You were angry – you thought I'd left you."

"Yes."

"Not just angry – you were in a rage."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because," Khan took a deep breath, "In my eyes, you are a superior woman."

"Please don't make fun of me."

"I never jest about superiority." Khan paused, "I have made the discovery that I am fond of you."

"But you don't normally go on a killing rampage to protect people that you are simply fond of, do you?"

"No. I find I cannot describe what I feel – having never truly felt the same thing before. People say that love is something I am incapable of . . . "

"I've never liked people."

"But what I feel for you can only be called by that name."

Sara was quiet and Khan made to turn away before she latched her arms around his neck – hugging him.

"I feel the same. Please don't think me as weak and inferior, but I feel the same."

Holding her close, Khan felt the first triumphant roar in his chest that he'd had since he'd taken Asia. When they finally pulled away from each other, Khan kissed her forehead.

"You should get cleaned up. You would feel better."

Still avoiding the splinters of wood on the carpet, he carried her to the door of the bathroom. Then he finished cleaning the floor as Sara had a shower. She emerged quickly and climbed into bed. Khan was sitting on the sofa. She pulled back the covers – an invitation for him to join her.

Khan shook his head. "Not tonight. You are tired. You must sleep."

Sara tried her utmost to sleep, but each time she tried, she was met with nightmares reliving the day. At one point she woke up screaming. But Khan was there wiping her bangs out of her eyes.

"I am here. You are safe."

"Please. Hold me, tonight. Nothing more – just hold me."

Khan slid into bed beside Sara wrapping his arms around her. Soon her breathing had stilled as she drifted off. Khan kept his instincts on high alert – determined in his promise of safeguarding her. As Khan laid there with eyes open, he stroked her hair. She nuzzled back into his body.

Khan sighed. He had been honest with Sara. He wasn't completely sure what he was feeling but he believed it to be love.

* * *

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	10. Jarring

**This Chapter:**

**Triggers - **

**Scenes of contemplating self-harm.**

M for more vibrant language, more mature themes, and sexually mature scenes. I don't own Star Trek, more's the pity. Only my original characters and plot line.

* * *

Loss

Ch 10 - Jarring

* * *

Once cocooned in Khan's strong arms, Sara slept peacefully in the knowledge that she was safe and secure. Hours later, though, she woke in a start. Khan was not in bed with her. Her eyes roamed the room, but still no Khan. Standing up, Sara checked the bathroom then the rest of the hotel room for any sign of her sociopath. She didn't find any. But, she noticed the car keys were gone. Hesitatingly nudging the curtains to one side, Sara looked out the window for the Subie. It was gone, too.

Leaning against the back of the door, Sara slowly slid down until she was resting on the floor hugging her knees to her chest. Regardless of all the logical explanations that her brain tried to bestow, the seeds of panic slowly grew from her stomach - blossoming in her chest. Soon her lungs were entangled in its tendrils as she fought to take a breath.

Grabbing her handbag and settling herself back against the door, Sara rifled through it. Handbags were always in a catch-22. She needed one big enough to put all her stuff inside; but when she used one that was big, she could never find what she was looking for.

Jarring the contents from left to right; eventually, she found it. Small with a cardboard cover, a single edge razor had been Sara's goal. Considering it for ages, she turned it end over end. She had no concept about how much time had past. Slowly, she took the cover off and held it on the blunt ends. She had felt the pull of it last night while she was having her shower. The stress from her attempted rape being the trigger. But knowing Khan was just outside cleaning up the splinters of wood scattered on the floor had been comforting. Khan had been there, and his presence was the rock she needed. Now, with his absence causing an additional stress, Sara was drawn to it even more. She tried to pull herself away from it with her logical arguments, but her anxiety seemed to win through.

Sara spoke to the silent room, "There's no reason for Khan to abandon me now. If he hadn't left me to my attackers, then he wouldn't leave now. _But, that was before you strangled his neck, confessed your undying love, and made him crawl into bed with you._ Don't be stupid, Khan doesn't do anything he doesn't want to do. _Yes, you moron. And that's why he's gone._"

Sara was so immersed in her monologue that she failed to hear the Subie's engine as well as the key working its way into the door. When the door tried to open, Sara was blocking it. The first time she realized what was going on was when she felt it bump against her back.

"Sara? Open this door or I break it down." Worry, annoyance, and fierceness found their ways into his voice in equal measures.

She scrambled to stand up and opened the door. A very irritated and concerned Khan met her.

"Well?"

Instead of verbally answering him, Sara energetically circled her arms around Khan's body leaning her head into him. The top of her head fit nicely under his chin as he leaned his head down. Dropping the bags he was carrying automatically, his large hands came up to caress her hair.

"You must do something about your doubting of me."

"I will try. But, _you_ must do something about your inability to leave a fucking note."

He paused, on the verge of starting an argument, and then thought better of it choosing instead to explain his actions. "I realized that you have not eaten in over twenty-four hours. I was getting breakfast."

"Oh, thank you." At the mention of food, Sara realized that her stomach growled in protest.

"There is fruit in the larger bags. Also, I remembered that you liked these while we were at the old woman's house."

Sara looked into the fast food bag, "Oh, Southern biscuits. You did very well, Khan."

They both sat on the couch as they ate. Sara's mood had completely turned around when Khan asked, "What is that?" His voice turned from relaxed to cold when his eyes hit upon the object.

"What is what?"

Khan picked up a shiny object that was on the floor. It was the razor blade Sara had been holding. In her rush to open the door, Sara had dropped it.

"This." Khan held the blade by his finger tips. "Explain."

Sara took a deep breath. "You must understand that what happened to me yesterday was traumatic. Even though you stopped it, I am still affected by it. The nightmares last night – the urges last night and this morning to cut – but that's been all they've been - urges. I have not cut myself since we've met – not once."

"There is more."

"I was stressed to find you gone without leaving any kind of note. I was afraid that I had been too forward last night and that you didn't want to deal with my sorry emotional ass."

"Sara, I promised you at the beginning that I would be honest when I kill you, yes?"

"Yes."

"Then why would I run out on you now – secretively, instead of being honest?"

"Very good point."

Khan found the cover, re-sheathed the blade, and handed it back to Sara.

She looked puzzled. "I don't understand. I thought you'd throw it away."

"You know my wishes, but disposing of it must be your own choice. I believe that you are strong enough not to need it anymore."

Sara looked back and forth from the blade in her hand to Khan. Slowly, Sara took the covered blade and dropped it into the trash can.

"You're right. I don't need it anymore."

"I am trusting you to be true to your word."

"I know. And, thank you, Khan." She paused trying to take a lighter tone while she still eyed the trash can. "So I suppose we should get ready to leave. Still lots of miles between us and Knoxville."

"No. Not today."

"Why not?"

"I drove past where we were yesterday, and the police are there."

"Shouldn't we leave right now?"

"No. They may be looking for the car. A strange Subaru driving back and forth around the area is suspicious – a Subaru simply parked at a hotel is not."

"How would they know about the Subie?"

"How do you think the three piles of ash happen to find us? The waitress told them about it." The smooth way Khan spoke of the men he'd killed made Sara's skin tingle.

But her blood started seething as she thought about the waitress. "I wish I'd never seen that bitch."

"I cannot change the past. But I can promise that you'll never see her again."

"What did you do? Did you kill her?"

"Not directly. But there are so many errors in hospitals these days. Being given the wrong medicine happens more often than you think. I simply stole into her hospital this morning and changed her medicinal directions."

"How did you know which hospital?"

"A town this small, there is only one."

She tried to gather the bravery to ask the question that had been on her mind since Khan had walked away from the restaurant table, but she couldn't quite form the words. "Why . . . ?"

Khan misunderstood her. "Kill her? So she can't give any more information about us."

"No. No. Why did you fuck her in the first place?" This time, Sara did nothing to hide the hurt she felt.

Khan knew that this was coming. He stepped closer to Sara putting a hand on her elbow. "I realize now that I took her but I wanted you."

She looked up to him unflinching. "So that makes everything alright does it? Did you even use protection?"

"When one has a superior immune system, one does not have to worry about STDs."

"What if you had gotten her pregnant? You could have just killed your unborn child." Sara's voice wavered emotionally. Children had become a miracle that was no longer available to her, and the idea that Khan could have potentially killed his own child by killing the waitress sit uneasy with her. She hated the waitress, but any child coming from their union would be an innocent and not responsible for either parents' mistakes.

"That is an impossibility. A part of my superior DNA will not allow me to breed with lesser humans."

"Wait a minute. So. When all the women of your crew died – in the future – you lost your ability to have children as well?" She brought her hand up to caress his face, "I am so sorry, Khan."

"Like you, I prefer not to talk about it."

Sara just nodded finding it hard to keep the moisture from coming to her eyes.

Khan wiped her tears away with his long thumb. Something caught in his chest. No one had ever cried for him.

"Do yo know what separates humans – both greater and lesser – from the rest of the animals?"

Sara's eyes went to the digit that had just stoked her face. "The opposable thumb?"

"No. Our ability to kiss. Any sexual animal can fuck. But kissing is so much more," Khan stepped even closer into her personal space, " . . . intimate. When two people kiss, they share the very air they breathe. The spark of life itself is created first in the kiss."

"What are you really trying to say?" Sara searched his eyes for sincerity. His eyes were full and intent on her.

"I admit to fucking the waitress – but I never kissed her. Even before when I had the pick of women like myself, I never felt the emotional draw of needing to press my lips to someone else's body. The waitress meant nothing to me."

"And me?"

"I grow fonder of you each day. You are on the surface an ordinary human, but you keep surprising me, Sara."

"So what are you saying?" She wasn't going to let him get by with it that easily. She needed him to say it out loud.

"I want to kiss you, Sara Augustine Trevathan." The richness of his voice made Sara's knees weaken.

It was too much to process and take in, so Sara tried diverting the conversation. "So, yesterday, when I kissed your hand, I was thanking you. Doesn't it have another meaning?"

"Kissing of the hand is a symbol of pledging one's fealty, faithfulness, loyalty."

"Oh."

"Do not worry. You were unaware of its meaning. I will not hold you to it. But, you have not answered my question, Sara."

"You haven't asked a question yet, Khan." The edges of her lips turned up in a smile.

He lowered his gaze. When Khan looked back up, his light blue eyes taking on a darker tone which was mirrored in his voice. "May I kiss you?"

Sara answered by threading her fingers through Khan's, bringing his hand up to her lips, and kissing the back of his hand. She could see Khan's eyes burn with desire as she repeated her action from yesterday – but this time fully understanding its meaning.

Sara whispered, "Yes, Khan. Yes, you may."

* * *

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	11. Kissing

**This Chapter:**

**Triggers - **

**You've been patient; you've been kind. Now here it is – Sara and Khan and sex. **

M for more vibrant language, more mature themes, and sexually mature scenes. I don't own Star Trek, more's the pity. Only my original characters and plot line.

* * *

Loss

Ch 11 – Kissing

* * *

Stepping closer to her, Khan brought his free hand up to Sara's face tilting it up slightly. His other hand was still entwined with hers. Tentatively bringing down his lips, Khan marveled at Sara's trust in him. She had gone through so much – a bad divorce, almost being raped; and here she was trusting Khan in the most intimate of ways.

When Sara found him in the warehouse and touched his lips for the first time, they were cold and pliant. Now, they were soft and tender tasting and shifting position trying to find new angles to explore her from. This seemed to go on forever as they took slight gasping breaths between kisses. Then, Khan flicked his tongue out gently onto Sara's lips asking of entrance. Tingles engulfed her spine at his touch. Opening her mouth generously to allow him entry, Sara moaned softly as Khan's tongue slowly devoured her.

Sara had thought about Khan's lips since she'd done CPR. Those beautifully full lips that just begged to be kissed. When Khan was savage, they'd straighten in cruelty. But now, they curved in softness their only goal being to seek and give pleasure.

Reluctantly removing his lips from Sara, Khan spoke in a haggard breath, "I find that I want to kiss more of you. Shall I continue?"

"Yes, Khan. Yes, please." Sara leaned into him – her hands now roaming the muscular expanse of his back.

He held her wrists stopping her movements making her focus again on his eyes which were deepening in their blue.

"If we make love, Sara, (and this will be making love – not a fuck), you must realize that you can _never_ be with anybody else. I am a man who does not share."

"I understand." Sara said obediently, then a wild spark came to her eye. "But, the same goes for you, too, _Mr. Superior_."

Khan pulled back a little to look at her. He saw the same rage in her eyes as when she beat up the waitress.

Her own voice darkened. "Do you really think I almost killed a woman because of name calling? No. She _dared_ to touch you. And, if we had had this understanding before, I'd have walked into that toilet and ripped her off your cock before you barely had the chance to stick it in her. Then I would have killed her right before your eyes - very painfully, very slowly."

"Oh, Sara." Khan closed his eyes – imagining the scene Sara had painted for him. "Why did you not stop us?" leaning closer to Sara's lips as he spoke.

"We didn't have this understanding."

Their lips touched again. This time Sara took control mapping the texture and taste of Khan's lips as she went. Reaching for the bottom of his shirt, Sara yanked it over his head. She cursed the material that hid the chiseled beauty of the man in front of her. His collar and neck bones majestically set the scene for the prominence of his muscled chest.

She thought to herself, 'Jesus Christ, you're beautiful.'

Sara sensed him smirking at her admiration of him. All she wanted to do now was to dig her hands, nails, and teeth into his chest. However, she held back and simply used one finger to poke at his chest as she spoke.

"But, this doesn't mean that you can just fuck any bitch in heat and expect me to stop you, only for you to get off on it."

"Does it not?" Khan leaned in to kiss her again.

Sara stopped him looking him straight into his eyes. "If you ever do that to me again, I will leave you."

At that Khan's eyes turned from a relaxed blue found at sea to pure iced fired that had to have been present at the forming of the universe. His hand shot to her throat.

His voice hissed into her ear, "If you ever leave me, I will find you. Then I will do things to you that will make you yearn for a death as easy as one I gave to our three ash piles down the road."

Sara waited till he released her neck. "If you don't stray, there will be no reason for me to leave."

"As long as we understand each other."

"Agreed."

His tone changed back to being softer, more seductive. "Then I can promise that you will orgasm before I even look at your vagina or clitoris."

"You don't know how tall an order that is." Sara whispered more to herself than to Khan.

But Khan heard her and purred, "Are you giving me a challenge, Sara?"

Sara barely had time to shudder before Khan kissed her again. This time Khan's kiss was not sweet nor tender but rather rough and demanding. But she met his ferocity with that of her own so Khan felt that this was her sign of accepting his actions.

Khan fought every urge he had to rip Sara's clothes off. She only wore her tank top and shorts that she slept in and it would be so easy just to tear the thin material right off her body.

However, he was mindful of yesterday's ordeal and the danger of triggering her fear. Instead, he fingered the thin straps of her shirt and kept eye contact as he did so. He willed himself to calm down to make this so slow and sweet that Sara would never dream of leaving him.

Leaning down to her right shoulder, Khan slid down the strap - his kisses following close behind it. First one strap and then the other fell to Khan's powerfully thin fingers. Then he pulled the shirt over her head dropping it unceremoniously to the floor.

He gazed at her breasts memorizing the shape and lift of them before whispering in her ear, "Tell me what you want, Sara."

"Khan . . . please . . . kiss them, touch them, suck them."

Grinning, Khan made no move to comply. "Define 'them', my dear."

She glared at him, "Oh, you are a right bastard."

"So I have been told . . . repeatedly."

"My breasts, Khan. Please."

"Gladly."

But Khan didn't zero in straight away. He started kissing down her throat lingering on one spot for longer than any other. She knew what he was doing.

"That's going to leave a hickey. How old are you, 17?"

"You are lucky I choose to leave only one sign that you belong to me."

After leaving her neck, Khan kissed down her breast bone. Then lifting one breast, he continued his kisses around the underside where breast met body. Only after he'd finished the other side, did he give attention to her nipples. Licking first before mouthing them, Khan received a satisfied, "Ahhhhh!" from Sara. He repeated that on the second one before returning to the first one for sucking and ultimately light biting.

Sara's legs gave way then and Khan reverently placed her on the bed before giving the second breast the same treatment. Resuming his actions, Khan wrapped his lips around Sara's nipple and greedily sucked on it, Sara felt pleasure build up between her legs. She'd never felt anything as exquisite as his lips on her. But when he changed to biting, Sara bucked and rode out her orgasm holding onto Khan - needing him to stabilize her.

Khan leaned into Sara. When she came back to herself, she was stunned. It took her a moment to realize that his hardness was saluting her outer thigh. Rolling on top of him, Sara quickly rid Khan of his tight trousers. She was as angry at his trousers as she was his shirt. Starting at his knees, Khan's powerful thigh muscles were well developed. Sara followed their path up his leg ending under his thigh hugging shorts. She slowly pulled the shorts down deliberately teasing Khan and herself as she went. Once they were finally gone, Khan's penis rose like a beautiful spire out of the hedgerows. Khan returned the favour by ripping her shorts away from her waist.

Sara couldn't hold herself back any longer. In one smooth movement, she took Khan's length in her mouth the tip of it ending up hitting the back of her throat. To her surprise, something calmed and prevented her gag reflex.

Khan's eyes rolled back in his head as he felt Sara's lips on him. He had a revelation that simply Sara's mouth, tongue, and throat were giving him more pleasure that the waitress's entire sex had done. If it had been up to him, Khan would have come from that alone. But, Sara stopped and mischievously smiled at her sociopath.

His eyes grilled into her half questioning – half enraged.

She smiled – none too sweetly. "The only way you're coming is going to be when you are inside my core."

With that Sara pushed Khan to lie back on the bed. Straddling him easily, Sara slid down on him the only lubrication needed had already been provided from her first orgasm.

Both Sara and Khan cried out in unison. For all her bravado, once Sara was impaled on Khan, she didn't have the energy to move. Nor did Khan as all he could do was record in his mind the immense throbbing pleasure from simply being seated inside Sara. How long they stayed connected, neither one could tell. Finally, Khan pushed his hips upward causing Sara to lean forward having to catch herself by extending her arms out to touch his chest – scratching him with her nails as she did so.

Taking his time, Sara experienced the sweetly slow rhythm of his broad cock filling her. Once she felt she could no longer take it, Khan would change his angle and start building up sensations again. Then Khan did something completely unexpected. Sitting up, Khan wrapped Sara's legs around his waist before standing up and ramming her right up against the bathroom door. He had been languid and slow - now was time for hard and fast.

Sara was speechless trying to catch her breath; Khan growled out, "My name – scream my name!"

Even had she wanted to, there was no escape from him. Khan's long, thick cock pumping into her over and over set everything on fire. At last her head fell back and Sara screamed, "Khaaaaaaan!" at the top of her voice and with all the power her lungs had left.

Khan roared out his own orgasm seconds after and took them back to the bed before his legs collapsed. This time he was on top still thrusting out the last remnants of his cum.

"Sara. My Sara." Khan whispered over and over as he covered her face with kisses. Then he found tears coming from her eyes. "Have I hurt you?"

She shook her head not trusting herself to speak. She simply stroked his face. Taking a deep breath, she finally answered. "I haven't felt that in a long time – not since before . . . the vaccine . . . after that I . . . " Sara found that she could not finish her sentence.

He looked down into her dark eyes filled with moisture and stroked her hair. "Have I not told you, my Sara? I am _better_ – at everything."

"No, Khan. You don't understand."

* * *

**May I suggest that everyone sees the Khan shower scene posted on YouTube. Apparently it was cut from the film, but shown to try to off shoot the controversy about the Carol Marcus underwear scene when Abrams was on a talk show. I must admit that it was an inspiration for me for this chapter.**

**Please forgive my two references to the movie: 1) It's sex so what else is she gonna scream out but his name? 2) 'I am _better' - _this is Khan so of course he's gonna think that he's better at sex than lesser human males. Anyway, they may be corny, but I have put thought in to using them. **

**Thanks so much to the 160 who have alerted and the 83 who have favourited. You guys are great. I still can't believe what a response this is getting! My thanks to you all. **

**Many many humble thanks to the gracious people who have been commenting:**

**FFC, AnadoraBlack, DanAlaya, Elliesmeow, Lovely Rain Dancer, exaigon, Finfy, SharkGurl, priestessofeternity, Korvescence, ScienceExperiments5150, WarriorDragonElf54, ShimmeringWater, and Ionerism.**


	12. Losing

**This Chapter:**

**Triggers - **

**Talk of self-harm – oh, and um more sex. **

M for more vibrant language, more mature themes, and sexually mature scenes. I don't own Star Trek, more's the pity. Only my original characters and plot line.

* * *

Loss

Ch 12 – Losing

* * *

"Explain it to me."

"I can't . . . not just yet. Please, will you let me enjoy this – this moment? I promise to tell you, but I can't do it yet."

"Very well." Khan's hand went up to stroke her hair. "Soft. How do you get it so soft?"

"Baking soda and apple cider vinegar."

"Surprising."

"Why? Sometimes the natural things are better." She smirked gently.

"Are you calling me unnatural?"

"No. Not at all. In fact, you're the first person in a long time that I feel comfortable with being around. I know that sounds silly."

"No, Sara. Not silly at all. Come. We must shower, and then we need to leave."

"Is anything wrong?"

"No. But sometimes traveling at night is an advantage."

* * *

Khan drove which allowed Sara to focus on the navigation. While Sara's plan about skirting across lower Kentucky has sounded simple, the reality held a vast range of small roads crossing each other at various angles. While they could have maneuvered a way along interstates for the most part, Sara held that interstates were easier to be tracked on. This way, she and Khan had almost a limitless choice of routes; and if anyone was following them, they'd have to be damn good.

By 3am, Sara felt her stomach touching her back bone. She needed food. She wanted it hot. They were finally coming up to a larger town when Sara let out a pleased, "Oh, yes!"

"What?"

"Waffle House!"

Khan looked at it and then at her. "You are jesting."

"No. Come on, pull in."

Khan decided that the best part about the Waffle House was the lack of people in it. They sat at the bar and the waitress took their order. As the cook started their food, he turned around and caught Sara's eye. His long dusky blond hair was pulled back into a pony tail and his bright blue eyes gleamed as he smiled at her. Sara returned the smile out of habit. When she looked back to Khan, his eyes had turned their palest pale and all his will power was checking him from reaching over the counter and pushing the cook's face onto the hot griddle.

"It's called being polite, Khan."

Khan's response was a low growl.

While the cook was focused on their food, about six more people entered. The waitress was so busy that the cook had to serve Sara and Khan.

"Thank you," Sara said after he put a steaming plate of eggs, grits, bacon, and waffles in front of her.

The cook looked back, winked, and said, "Anything for you, darlin'."

Sara had to physically restrain Khan from going over the counter.

His voice darkened dangerously, "That was not politeness – that was advertising."

"Possibly – but there's only one time traveling superior sociopath who has my heart." Sara grinned and Khan relaxed a little. Taking up his fork, he pushed his food around on his plate still staring at the cook.

"I still want to cut out his liver and fry it in front of him."

"Not for breakfast, dear. Eat your grits and toast."

* * *

Once they were settled in the hotel across the road from the Waffle House, Khan urged Sara to talk about the other side effects of the vaccine. Sitting on the edge of the bed, Sara was hesitant and began haltingly.

" Another . . . side effect of the vaccine . . . is that I can't orgasm."

Khan looked at her as if she were a simpleton. His rich voice bordered on gloating as he leaned in and kissed her, "You orgasmed yesterday – twice."

The smile on Sara's face beamed – still remembering the after-glow. "I know. It was beautiful. I don't understand how it happened though."

Khan smirked at her not saying a word.

But Sara could surmise his thoughts, "Shut up. This cannot simply be a case of you being _that_ good." She began playfully, but then her tone mirrored the frustration she had felt. "After I had the vaccine, I felt nothing sexually. From my husband – nothing."

"Ex-husband." Khan didn't bother to muffle the growl coming from his chest.

"From my hand – nothing. From vibrators – nothing. From that policeman -"

"Goes without saying." Khan's right lips curved lightly.

Sara grinned, "It does, doesn't it?" Then she sighed, "How can I be a sexual void for years and then feel everything with you? Thoughts?"

"I can be certain of nothing without analyzing the vaccine."

"All the more reason to get to Knoxville." Sara tried to stifle a yawn and failed.

"Stay awake. We must discuss one thing – you did not tell this to me before. I shall not count this as lying but as being selective about the information you give me." Khan turned her head to face him, his pale eyes gleaming. "While lying is a much more serious offense, I still am not pleased."

She pushed Khan away from her.

"'Not pleased?' How would you like it if someone came along and took away the very part of you that made you a man? Or that made you superior – that made you Khan? You wouldn't have a clue how to act. I didn't have a clue how to act. The loss of self was too much. Forgive me for not wanting to advertise it."

"Your sexuality is not all you are."

At those words, Sara's body froze. Khan could almost see the coldness descend through her body distancing herself from him.

"Don't, just don't. I know what you say is true. But it's a part I liked – a part I needed." She shook her head. "Please. Can we stop now? You . . . " Moisture started at the corners of her eyes.

"I what?"

"You sound like _him_."

"Who?"

"My mother-fucking ex-husband." Sara spat out in anger.

Khan's eyes burned blue fire. "Never compare me to him."

"Why? Afraid you're a little 'common' like the rest of us?"

Khan stepped up and raised his hand back poised to strike her. Expecting her to flinch, he had every intention to let his hand fly. But her dark eyes refused to look away – refused to back down.

Sara whispered, "Do it. Do it and prove you are just like that bastard."

Instead of following through with the strike, Khan's lips descended on Sara's. It was harsh, ruthless, and controlling. Sara fought back with a passion of her own. Her hands traveling down to his hip bones trying to find them through his clothes. She didn't know why but that was always one of her favourite parts of a man.

Khan broke away from the kiss with his anger still fuming. "Do you realize that had anyone else said that to me, they would already be dead."

"I'm not 'anyone else'."

"And I am not 'common'."

Bringing his lips back to hers, they kissed and moved until Sara was backed up on the center of the bed where it met the wall - disrobing themselves as they went. Rather that using his fists, Khan attacked Sara's body with his lips and tongue – only using his hands to hold her body still. Traveling from her breasts to her stomach, Khan spent an age tasting her.

While food was a necessity that he had to endure on occasion, the taste he needed, the taste he craved was the salty sweetness of Sara's skin.

Slowly, he moved down to between her thighs. Sara was so overwhelmed by the sensations that shot through her body that she didn't realize when he started moving south. Once she did, Sara tried to stop him. But it was too late, quickly she felt his hands latch on to her wrists roughly keeping them immobilized.

When he spoke, Khan shocked Sara with his tone. He almost seemed - broken.

"Here. You cut yourself – here. Your inner thighs. Why?"

"It is private place. I didn't want anyone to see my weakness." She looked away from him not daring to see the disappointment in his eyes.

"And."

"It seemed poetic. That is the entrance to where I am damaged – might as well make the damage visible."

He caught her face by the chin forcing her to look at him.

"Never again. You will never hurt yourself in that way or in that place again. Say it, Sara! 'Never again.' Promise me."

"And if I don't?"

"I will crush your neck before you could even put up a struggle."

"That's just it. I won't – struggle – please, Khan. Just end it."

"No."

"Why?"

"My family is dead. You will be my new family. I want you safe. I want you whole. I need you. I need to be inside you." Khan slid Sara back down the bed and climbed back up Sara's body as he said this – ending up saying the last one as a hiss directly into her ear.

Sara closed her eyes at the last. His closeness and intention making her ache.

"But first, I will kiss every one of those scars." His hand slid down caressing the area of his intent. "I will make you cum so hard that it will burn all your hurt away. All your past will be engulfed in our flame; and when the smoke clears, only you and I will remain."

Sara shuddered. Khan opened her thighs and began planting his lips along each line in her skin. As he moved up her body, Sara's automatic reaction was to raise her hips. Khan pushed her back down into the mattress.

"Tell me what you want, Sara."

"I want your cock. I want you, Khan – hard and rough and fast. Burn me with it. Burn me with your cock."

In a solid, swift movement, Khan breached Sara's walls. Her body stiffened but no sound came from her. It was as if all the air had been driven from her lungs simply from his penetration. Once he was fully seated in her, he rotated his hips making his cock touch all the linings in her core. Sara threw her head back and moaned. Taking Sara's legs, Khan placed them on his shoulders tilting Sara to a new angle.

Then he began his pounding – each stroke hitting, finding its way to make Sara's sensations reawaken.

For Khan, each thrust was a homecoming. The tightness, the heat, the pressure on his cock was pure divinity. Sex had never been this intense with a 'lesser human'. Only with another augment had he felt such pleasure. With the possibility obvious to him now and Sara coming hard underneath him, Khan's seed shot into her as he rode out his own orgasm. Even after he'd come, Khan lazily pushed all he could into her.

When he looked to Sara, she was already asleep. Now, without Sara watching him, Khan allowed his mask to drop. Stroking her hair, Khan's concern truly showed for the first time. Trust Sara to leave out information like that. He supposed she thought the information to be too personal to share with him before they were intimate.

While Khan had been truthful in that _certainty _of why Sara only reacted to him required a vaccine sample, he was already forming his theories – some of them made him hope like he had not dared to since he had put his crew in stasis and he had dreamed of a new world. But how Sara would take the reasons for her reactions - all of them made the sociopath worry.

He had lost his crew. Now he looked at Sara with a possessive need. He would hold onto Sara no matter what the cost.

* * *

**Thanks so much to the 176 who have alerted and the 92 who have favourited. You guys are great. I still can't believe what a response this is getting! My thanks to you all. **

**Many many humble thanks to the gracious people who have been commenting:**

**ScienceExperiments5150, WarriorDragonElf54, Ionerism, exaigon, Finfy, DanAlaya, Hell Hath No, SharkGurl, Elliesmeow, Korvescence, Billie O'Dial, KillehKiwi, silentxangel, .186, SemiraBlake(x3), and Benedict'sZombieGirl (x2).**

**I truly cannot say how much your kind words mean to me. **

**Tsora17**


	13. Mourning

**This Chapter:**

**A little spoiler talk for the movie. Nothing really detailed but thought I'd let you know regardless.**

M for more vibrant language, more mature themes, and sexually mature scenes. I don't own Star Trek, more's the pity. Only my original characters and plot line.

* * *

Loss

Ch 13- Mourning

* * *

Waking up, Sara felt an unfamiliar pressure across her body. She opened her eyes to find Khan's naked form sprawled out on top of her – almost in a protective way. Taking advantage of her chance, Sara enjoyed looking down the muscular plane of Khan's back loving the little dip that was made before the curve of his bottom took shape. Her only regret was that at this angle it was out of her reach. She breathed out a little sigh of frustration.

Khan's eyes opened immediately at the sound. "Are you well?"

He rolled slightly off Sara thinking that he was too heavy on her. His actions allowed her better access to his body. Letting her hands roam over his skin, Sara grinned, "Better now."

* * *

Sara poured over her laptop. "We should reach Knoxville today."

"Good. Tell me again - what has your research shown?"

"The Sunsphere is partially opened to the public. Fourth floor is the observation deck, fifth is a restaurant, sixth can be leased out for events. Floors seven and eight are offices."

"So easy access."

"For the most part. The problem is when do we go?"

"Darkness always hides a multitude of sins."

"True. But so do people. It will be the 4th of July in a few days. There is a rubber duck race at noon and a fireworks display at night. Lots of people to hide behind."

Khan smirked. "I do like the way you think. Do a search for local construction companies between here and Knoxville."

"Ok. Why?"

"We may have to put on our own fireworks display."

* * *

Finding a hotel with a good view of the Sunsphere was not difficult. In fact, their room itself had an excellent view of the golden globe atop a thin structure of metal. She had to admit, that it did look like a golf ball on top of a tee.

Getting access to the Sunsphere's sixth floor was easier than Sara thought it would be. With all the public celebrations, that floor had not been leased out for the holiday. Sara watched Khan work respectfully with the explosives, and she followed his lead.

"So, are we done? Is that it?" Sara looked at Khan with a brightness to her dark eyes.

"Yes, all we have to do now if we want to blow it is press this button."

"Excellent!" Sara grinned up at him. Khan returned it with a smile of his own.

He moved away from Sara to examine an explosive pack taped to the wall. Sara moved to the golden panels and looked below. Thousands of rubber ducks hand been released and sent on their way for the race. Sara shook her head and spoke to herself, "Who the fuck would race a rubber duck?"

Before Khan realized what happened, a sharp pain stung his arm from behind. As he was losing consciousness, Khan called out in fear, "Sara, run!"

He awoke to find himself bound. Looking around, he found no trace of Sara. Everything was dark except for the fireworks going off. Whatever he was given, it had put him under for several hours.

Slowly, Khan realized that he was not alone after all. A figure stood with his back to Khan watching the light display.

"Where is Sara? If you have hurt her, I will introduce you to my vast expertise of pain when I am free."

The figure turned around and slowly walked back to him. Somehow the walk was familiar.

"I'm truly touched, Khan, for that and for telling me to run. But, I'm not the one who hurt me – you are."

"Sara?"

"Did you really think that I wouldn't make the connection between you and that vaccine?"

Khan took a deep breath. "How long have you known?"

"Almost since the beginning."

Khan started struggling with his bindings trying to free himself – they were stronger than he expected, but he knew he could break them eventually.

"I wouldn't do that, love. In fact, you need to stop, or I'll blow us all up." Sara's hands held the device Khan had rigged in order to blow up the Sunsphere. "And, you know I'll do it."

"Have you been lying to me this entire time?"

"No. Simply selective in my sharing of information."

"You cannot say that you have felt nothing for me." While Khan's voice was deep and commanding, a new feeling crept through it – something akin to hurt.

Sara's voice wavered. "That's what pains me the most. I do love you – stronger and deeper than I have loved anyone else – except one person."

Khan looked at her questioningly but said nothing. His mind raced to who it could be. Surely she wasn't speaking of her ex-husband.

Sara continued. "But if you think you can simply destroy my world and get by unscathed, you're wrong. Have you figured it out yet? The only person I've ever loved more than you was my unborn child. Tell me, do you have any remorse or do you just think that one less 'lesser' human is a good thing?"

"I will answer that. But I ask you to hear my side first."

"Very well."

"As you know, augments like my self were genetically engineered then placed in the wombs of ordinary women."

Sara simply nodded.

"We were born and grew up in the same time frame as normal human children. In the nineties, we attempted to make the world a safer place."

"Through violence and bloodshed."

"We made war so that we could end war!" Khan's anger raged briefly before bringing his voice back to a calm, factual tone. "Once we gained control militarily, our minds turned to other things – reproduction being one of them. That is when we discovered that our women were barren. We tried to procreate with lesser human females, but that, too, was impossible. So, we were left with a dilemma."

"If you played around with genetics in the same method as you were made, it would take fifteen to twenty years to find out if you were successful."

"Yes. Time was a luxury we did not have. Instead, we began working on a way to augment the DNA of adults – either to rid our women of their barrenness or change lesser human females so that they could carry our children. Unfortunately, the attacks on us prevented the completion of the treatment; and we fled into exile. When I was awakened hundreds of years in the future, I was forced to design weapons. If I did not do so, my crew, the only family I had, would be killed. However, I continued working on our reproductive problem secretively."

"And you found the solution."

"No. I didn't. Events happened. I believed my crew dead and started to avenge them. But even in that I was thwarted. And then, my crew truly was killed – right before my eyes – just when I thought I was delivering them to safety."

"What effects did your experiments have on _lesser_ women?"

"I never reached that stage in the future. The effects I saw in the nineties are almost identical to your vaccine. Some became barren. Some lost their sexual drive. All slowly becoming mentally unstable to the point in which some . . . committed suicide."

"What happened to your research?"

"When I ran from the human who controlled me, Marcus, I was forced to leave all my research behind. But I swear to you, Sara, I did not intend to set it on you or your population. I do not know who did - just as I do not know who sent me back to this time or for what purpose. What I do know is that I care for you."

"Then why not tell me the truth? Here I am thinking that I am slowly going crazy through some defect of my own when in reality, it's all on you."

"Did you never ask why knowing that you cut yourself drove me crazy? I have seen the progression of this. I could not bear it if you killed yourself."

"Did you care about any of the others? Don't answer that – I know you didn't. So, what made me special? What made me different?"

"No fear."

"What?"

"You saw me for what I am and showed no fear. You can have no proper conception of what that did to me. To be with someone who considers themselves to be my equal."

"Consider nothing – I am your equal."

Khan smiled at Sara's certainty. "Even among my own kind, I was feared."

"I thought you got off on that."

"It is true. I do. But, I have never known the emotions I experience when I am with you."

"Which is what?"

"Love. The desire to care for you, protect you. Tenderness. Hope."

"Hope?"

"That after my revenge I could somehow make a life with you at my side."

"You'd settle for me when you've had an empire? I'm not that gullible."

"How can I prove that I love you?"

"You see that box over there?" Sara nodded her head towards it.

"I do."

"Inside are vials of the vaccine and data that I found on the seventh floor. I have a duplicate of the data as well. Find out who did this to me and help me destroy them. You have a month. This," Sara placed a slip of paper on top of the box, "is the address of where I will be and the time you will meet me."

"You are leaving me? I warned you Sara the consequences of leaving me."

"Then think of it as a break from each other. I need time to think. You need time to do your research. You are in a university town – it won't be hard for you to find the equipment that you need."

"That is not the point and you know it. How can I protect you if I am not with you?"

"Khan, my love, look at this situation. I am not as defenseless as you like to believe."

As she said the last, Sara leaned in and kissed Khan soundly on the lips. When they broke apart, Sara kissed the area right in front of his ear and whispered, "I think I'm going to miss you."

Khan returned darkly in her ear, "How do you know that I simply won't come after you and kill you for betraying me?"

"I don't. But, this is not betrayal. This is simply clearing the air between us. I don't like it when you are selective in sharing your information any more than you do when I am selective with mine . If this is going to work – if _we_ are going to work, we need to be honest with each other. Which brings me back to my original question: Did you feel any remorse when you realized that your vaccine killed my child? Would you have mourned?"

"I regret that you have been hurt. But I cannot fully regret any action that brought you to me."

Sara raised her head up and braced herself against his last words.

"I see."

"You wanted the truth, Sara."

"I know. If you could go back and change it – if you could go back and stop me from taking the vaccine, would you?"

"No. I would not undo that thing because it would keep you from me. I cannot be without you now. I need you too much."

"I know you could track me down in a day and kill me. But I am asking for a month – a month so that I can think things through – a month so that you can focus on the vaccine – a month so that I can figure out my feelings. After all I've been through, is a month too much to ask?"

"You shall have your month."

"Thank you, Khan." With that Sara kissed him with all the conflict and passion welling up inside her. Khan slid his tongue in her mouth trying to express all he felt for her. Suddenly, he felt a stab in his arm again.

Sara smiled. "I know you're lying. So this will give me a headstart."

"It will not be enough." Khan managed to get out before his eyes started to close.

"We'll see. Love you, my darling psychopath."

* * *

As Sara gathered her belongings from the hotel room, she looked through the window to the Sunsphere. For all her bravado, she felt conflicted in her choice of leaving Khan there.

Then, without warning, the Sunsphere turned into a literal ball of fire. Sara's eyes found the time on her watch – no where near enough time had passed for Khan to wake up and get out. She sank to the floor; her hand held up to her chest; a mixture of pain and loss and regret hit her.

Only one explanation circled in Sara's mind – someone had watched them and someone had taken the remote detonator and used it. Khan was dead and it was all her fault.

* * *

**Thanks so much to the 181 who have alerted and the 102 who have favourited. You guys are great. I still can't believe what a response this is getting! My thanks to you all. **

**Many many humble thanks to the gracious people who have been commenting:**

**Ionerism, Benedict'sZombieGirl, exaigon, SemiraBlake, FFC, Lorna Roxen, Hell Hath No, AussieMaelstrom, Elliesmeow, SharkGurl, Korvescence, IcanhazDEATH (x2), silentxangel, WarriorDragonElf54, and Sorceress of the Trees.**


	14. Needing

**This Chapter:**

**Situations of attempted self-harm. **

M for more vibrant language, more mature themes, and sexually mature scenes. I don't own Star Trek, more's the pity. Only my original characters and plot line.

* * *

Loss

Ch 14 ** - **Needing

* * *

Standing on the sixth floor of the Sunsphere, a tall, muscular man ran his fingers through his dark bangs. Khan grinned - pleased with himself and with the superiority of his body. While the first round of Sara's drug had knocked him out, his internal systems used that time to build up an immunity to it. By the second time she employed it, Khan simply faked going under. The rest was easy.

Now, awake and free from his restraints, Khan watched Sara make her way back to the hotel. Following her every move as she walked away from the structure, Khan's eyes flamed into the raging hatred he only reserved for those who had betrayed him the most. Sara had made him care, made him weak, and made him admit that weakness. He refused to be subject to it and her any longer.

A safe distance away from the exploding Sunsphere, Khan disposed of the remote detonation device in a rubbish bin. Then his brain went through his psychopath's 'To Do' list automatically: 1) Kill Sara 2) Discover who sent him back into the past and why 3) Kill those responsible – he didn't like people manipulating him and that's exactly what this felt like. As soon as those three things were completed, Khan would be free again to focus on what really mattered – taking his revenge on those who had wronged him in the future. The names 'Kirk' and 'Spock' burned in his brain. He still had his dead crew to avenge after all.

But, first things first. And Sara would come first. Khan took a deep breath and turned his gaze towards the hotel. Looking at the box with the vaccines, Khan debated delaying his retribution with conflicting thoughts. Should he give Sara one last chance to prove that she loved him – even though her recent actions made that doubtful? All Khan would have to do was wait and observe. The thought of what Sara meant to him, what she could mean to him in the future, racked his heart. The swell in Khan's chest made his decision for him. He would wait. He would observe Sara in the morning. He would look at her face – and that would decide her fate.

* * *

The thought of Khan being dead had a physical impact on the woman who loved him. Before she could stop herself, Sara emptied the contents of her stomach onto the floor of her hotel room. Any control she once had on her body left as her grief took over. By the time she finished, her chest was heaving in a state of hyperventilation. With what little strength she had left, Sara pulled herself up to the bed and cried herself to sleep – not caring how loud her sobs were.

In the morning, Sara woke up with swollen eyes that didn't want to open. All she wanted to do was wallow in her misery, but she forced herself to shower. The warm water helped to prize her eyelids open and bring her back to some state of normalcy. However, when she looked at herself in the mirror hanging over the dresser, Sara's self control vanished again. Lifting the small desk chair, Sara brought it crashing into her reflection. The chair broke apart; and the woman took a sturdy leg and proceeded to bust anything in her sight: tv, wall art, windows all fell to her rage. When she was done, the room was trashed in a way that only a rock star would approve of; and Sara took several minutes to steady her breath trying her to calm herself.

Sara buried her grief and anger down inside her. In order to do this, she covered both of those emotions up with an icy conviction. She had learned a lot of things from Khan – and this was one of them.

When she was ready, Sara dusted the broken glass off her suitcase and left the room. As she crossed the hotel lobby, Sara muttered to herself, "Nothing. Think of nothing. It's nothing. It was nothing."

Her expression was dead and cold. She couldn't afford to let herself think about Khan now, or she'd break down again. Sara wouldn't allow her mourning to surface until she was in a safe location. Instead, she tried to focus on the new problem facing her.

Now, on top of her other goals, Sara had to find Khan's killer and avenge his death. She knew it would not undo her guilt in his murder – she had left him alone, defenseless, in the middle of multiple bombs – but it was all she could do for him.

* * *

Walking like a zombie through the lobby, Sara never noticed the familiar figure staring at her from the shadows. With darkened eyes and grim features, Khan looked down at the piece of paper he held in his hand before crushing it and placing it in the pocket of his coat. From the look on her face, she felt nothing at his death. He also could have sworn Sara said, "He was nothing."

Khan's disappointed began to boil into a rage. He was extraordinary. He was superior. He was Khan. Determined to deal with her sooner than later, Khan hardened his heart toward her. No one betrayed him like this and lived.

Just as he began to stalk after the only woman he had ever loved preparing to strangle her with his bare hands, a man grabbed his elbow. Khan whirled around ready to pummel whoever dared to touch him. But, before he could, an arrogant voice sounded, "I don't know who you think you are, boy; but you're not gettin' away with trashin' your room like that!"

"What?" Khan's eyes blazed with fury – first at Sara, now for the insect who was preventing him from killing her.

"The state you've left that room! I'm gonna call the police if you or your girlfriend don't pay up. I am the manager, Kevin Kee, and the police are on my speed-dial."

"I was not in that room last night." Khan glowered at the clueless human – unaware of how close he was to death.

"And I don't give a good God-damn. I know you checked in with that crazy-ass woman." He shook his head in disbelief, "I never knew a woman could be so destructive."

"Wait. You say she destroyed it?" Khan's eyes began to cool slightly. Why would she destroy it if she felt nothing at his death?

"And how. That little minx packs a punch.

Khan's eyes cooled and narrowed. "Show me."

* * *

The smell hit Khan's senses before the door was fully open. He went to stand behind the window but at a distance to where Sara had been sick.

"I don't know what kind of party you had here last night, but you need to git that girl some help. Whatever she's on, boy, it cain't be good. It's bad enough she's trashed the place, but with the complaints we've had, I know we've lost a couple of long time customers."

"What complaints?"

"Cryin' and wailin' last night right after the explosion – which might be understandable if she was a nervous gal. But, then this mornin' she was breakin' everything and makin' a huge noise."

Khan walked to the bed and ran his fingers along the pillow Sara had used. It was still damp with her tears. The moisture made him smile. All the classic signs were there – the physical illness, the tears, the rage. Sara truly did love him and was mourning him. For the first time, Khan hated himself – just a little – for making her believe that he was dead. But after Sara's actions in the Sunsphere, Khan had to be sure of her – without question. Now that he could trust her again, Khan pulled out the crumpled paper and committed the address, date, and time to memory. He would do as Sara asked and take a month to discover who did this to her and locate them for her. Together, they would get their revenge.

"Hey, son."

Khan turned and gave his attention to the manager. Lost in his thoughts, Khan had tuned the annoying insect out.

"I said I guess you're gonna pay for this."

Khan's attitude was detached, "I will not."

"Well, I'll just have to charge the damages to this little psycho bitch's credit card."

Khan turned in an instant. Instead of coldness, a rage took him as he grabbed the man's neck, picked him up, and slammed him against the wall.

"You will not speak of her disrespectfully. She is superior. You are nothing more than a cockroach compared to her." Khan growled at the man who slighted Sara.

"Jesus, boy, you've got it pretty bad." Kevin huffed out trying to get air back into his lungs.

Khan thought a moment before releasing him. "Credit card. You have her details on your computer."

"Yes." The manager squeaked.

"Take me to your office."

* * *

As Sara drove west out of Knoxville, she was forced to pull over before her desired exit. She needed them - now. She searched through her handbag and found some pills she had to settle her nerves. She hadn't needed them in a long time. Now, her guilt overwhelmed her, and Sara broke down again. When a steady stream of rain started falling, Sara was thankful – at least it shielded her from prying eyes. A crying woman always drew attention and that's the last thing she wanted at this moment.

Suddenly, she snapped; and a frantic Sara emptied out her handbag.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck! Where the fuck is it?"

For an instant she thought she had found it, and that all would be well. She pressed her fingers down on a cardboard holder and tried to drop the cold metal into her other hand. But instead of finding her last, secret, hidden razor blade, Sara found a note written in Khan's scrawled handwriting: 'You have me now. You do not need this anymore.'

Tears blurred her vision as she laid her head on the steering wheel and sobbed.

* * *

The manager pulled up Sara's details. Khan watched the computer pull up not only the transaction for the room but also an earlier purchase.

"How can you pull up her history of purchases?"

"The hotel buys the software in order to process credit cards – this just happens to be part of the program. Look, as manager, I even have it on my smart phone." As soon as that last confession left his lips, Kevin cursed his stupidity.

Khan's right side of his lips smirked upward. "How convenient. And why would a manager need that capability?" Khan took a menacing step towards Kevin.

"Well, I..."

"Wouldn't be skimming from your unsuspecting customers would you? Let me look." Khan took the phone and scrolled through it. "Tut, tut. You have over 5000 credit card numbers in here. I wonder what the police would say to that?"

"Now just wait a minute." Kevin quickly became defensive.

"No. I will not wait. I am going to take your phone, and you are going to erase Ms. Trevathan's details from your main system."

"Look here, I'll call the police."

"I do not think so, _Kevin_. Not only would you open yourself up to criminal charges, but I can easily find you again – here or at your house on 162 Dogwood Cove. I believe that is your home address."

"Boy, I don't take kindly to threats."

Khan quickly curled his fist around Kevin's neck. "Be thankful that you have given me some information that has put me into a good mood. I have killed many people for far fewer infractions of which you are guilty. Now, do I have your complete cooperation?"

Kevin could only nod. And his only option was to nod, 'yes'.

"Or would you rather me crush your windpipe and leave your dead body rotting on the floor?"

Kevin could only shake his head, 'no'.

"Good. Now I need your assistance in acquiring a transport device."

"Transport? You mean a car?" The manager's voice was raspy after Khan's ministrations.

"A car, yes – a Subaru to be exact."

* * *

**Thanks so much to the 189 who have alerted and the 105 who have favourited. You guys are great. I still can't believe what a response this is getting! My thanks to you all. **

**Many many humble thanks to the gracious people who have been commenting:**

**WarriorDragonElf54, DanAlaya, Benedict'sZombieGirl, Korvescence, SemiraBlake, chopinetto, AnadoraBlack, LovelyAngelYuuki, SharkGurl, , ShadowFire225, ShimmeringWater, Elliesmeow, Lorna Roxen, Sorceress of the Trees, Finfy, exaigon, silentxangel, Ionerism, and jbuzz.**


	15. Opening

**This Chapter:**

**Triggers:**

**Serious situations of self-harm.**

M for more vibrant language, more mature themes, and sexually mature scenes. I don't own Star Trek, more's the pity. Only my original characters and plot line.

* * *

Loss

Ch 15 – Opening

* * *

Khan didn't know how he did it, but Kevin, the annoying hotel manager, found a used car salesman even more annoying than himself. His name was Ted. Ted was tall and thin - dressed in knee length shorts and a pink polo shirt. Khan smirked at how weak the man was. If Khan chose, he could snap the man's neck with just one hand. As Ted turned to Kevin, Khan caught himself reaching out his right hand to do just that. Then suddenly, he shook his head, berated himself on his need to focus, and reigned in his frustrations. Right now he needed a vehicle and the more time it took to achieve that the less time he'd have on dissecting the vaccine.

At last they came to a dark grey 2008 Subaru Forester XT. The 'T' stood for turbo, and Khan was pleased with it. "That one. That is the one." Khan nodded decidedly.

Ted started reading over his cheat-sheet. "It's listed at $14,000. It's had one owner and . . . "

"I will take it," Khan cut off the man in mid-sentence before he could ramble on.

"Don't you want to test drive it?" Ted looked confused.

"Not necessary." He turned to Kevin and narrowed his eyes. "Pay the man."

With a look of humiliating defeat, Kevin thought of the job he would lose if he refused and the prison sentence he would serve. Then he also thought of his family and that Khan knew his address. He looked at Khan up and down. Somehow, Kevin knew that even if he moved his family, Khan would find them and kill them. So, the hotel manager took out his check book and began to write.

* * *

It was easy for Khan to stroll into UT Knoxville's science buildings and help himself to what he needed – at least it was after he stole id from a napping junior chemistry instructor who bore a vague resemblance to him. Once Khan had everything he needed, he took his time examining the vaccine. Wanting to ensure his results were completely accurate, Khan replicated his testing multiple times to verify its validity. So what could have taken days if he had a laboratory to himself and everything at his disposal in fact took weeks.

The time not spent at the lab was the most torturously drawn out that Khan had ever known. When he was alone in the future, at least he was planning his crew's escape. He hadn't known Sara and did not realize how alone he actually felt. Khan knew he could endure a great many hardships, but his estrangement from Sara was harder to bare each day.

When he finally finished his research, what he found was intriguing and disturbing at the same time. The substance was vaguely similar to the one he himself had worked on years before in the 90s. Yet, somehow, it carried the basic structure of the one he'd fashioned in the future. Khan realized that this vaccine had elements of compounds that should not be present in 2013. It was as if someone from the future was playing a joke on him.

This was his vaccine manipulated and twisted to ensure that it would not work. This would ensure that any woman given the vaccine would be sterilized and made barren. No life could come from this vaccine only debilitating mental capacities and death. Khan closed his eyes and thought of Sara. He had hoped. He had allowed himself to dream that Sara might have been the vaccine's breakthrough. If Sara's body had accepted the vaccine, he could have had a future and a real family.

As it was, Khan's hopes were shattered. Also, Sara's condition might degenerate with time. There was no way to tell how long she had or if she had stabilized. The one thing Khan knew right now was that he needed to get to her as quickly as possible and analyze her blood. Only then would he know her fate.

Khan grabbed his coat and ran out of the lab down to the Subaru. He had to find Sara, and he had to find her now.

* * *

Tracking the woman he cared for was easier than he had imagined it would be. The manager's mobile phone allowed Khan to see Sara's movements from town to town via her purchases. Again, she avoided the interstates after she left Knoxville, yet made a slow, steady progress south west towards Chattanooga.

When Khan finally caught up with her, he located Sara by finding her motel room. It was a small, family run establishment, and Khan had no trouble at all in locating Sara's Subie. As he watched her walk to the room, Sara seemed sad, but healthy. Even though he longed to be with her again, another part of him needed answers. Still a few days before he was supposed to rendezvous her, Khan was curious to see if Sara would even show up at her self-arranged meet now that she thought him dead.

He watched her motel room from the security of his own Subie. His superiority allowed him to keep his vigil without the need for sleep or sustainance. Sara emerged from her room finally with a haggard look. Her eyes were red and swollen as if her main focus for the last few days had been crying.

For the first time in Khan's life, his heart actually ached for another person. This was Sara – his Sara – suffering and in pain because she believed him to be dead. Khan may have been unsure if his feelings were to be classified as love, but Sara's feelings for him were becoming more evident every moment. Sara loved him. Was mourning him. He felt a strange knot in his stomach. No one had ever loved him like that before. Even his loyal followers were loyal because they agreed with his goal of conquest and domination. If he had died, someone else would simply have taken his place as leader. Mourning among augments was not the highest priority.

It took every ounce of Khan's self control not to cross the road and take Sara in his arms in hopes of ending her misery. But, he remained true to his plan. He would follow Sara, see if she would go to their meeting place in one last hope that he may be alive, and observe her actions when he did not show up. That would be his final proof that Sara was true to him.

* * *

Sara left the motel with ample time to make her destination: the Hunter Museum of American Art. Khan had already scouted ahead – a day before he took up his vigil – so at least he did not have to shadow Sara too closely. When she arrived, Sara lingered outside. The museum resided on top of a 80ft stone bluff with the Tennessee River flowing underneath it. A low level of trees and bushes wrapped around the underneath and sides of the modern, grey structure – separating bluff from building. Although a stunning sight, the greenery gave the impression that it was the living, green things that were out of place – not the grey, dead materials of stone and concrete.

As Sara's walk returned her to the front of the museum, Khan's dark grey Subie pulled into the car park. He was grateful that he had taken the time to get the windows tinted. Khan watched the breeze blow Sara's unruly hair out of her eyes. The look in her eyes spoke of how she'd dealt with the past four weeks – she looked as if she'd been through hell – as if she was at the limit her body could take.

Even once she entered the Hunter, Khan was able to hold back a little because the words on the piece of paper Sara had given him back at the now non-existant Sunsphere read, 'Chattanooga, the Hunter Museum of American Art, Frankenthaler's _Around the Clock with Red – _August 4th – 2pm'.

When Khan found Sara again, she was sitting in front of the red painting in contemplation. Although he knew he should stay in the same position, Khan's need for a better view of Sara won out. He tried to make his movement smooth so that she would not notice him.

Staring at Frankenthaler's abstract work, Sara focused on breathing in and out – trying to stay calm. She had lived with a month of thinking the worst and she almost had not bothered to come. She chided herself, "Of course, he's not coming. Khan is dead. Why do you torture yourself?"

Then she saw a figure move out of the corner of her eye and she twisted abruptly in the seat to follow it. But, the figure stopped. Standing up, Sara grabbed her bag and attempted to follow the figure; but before she could reach it, whoever it was had disappeared.

Sara tilted her head. Was she going crazy? She could have sworn that Khan had just been there. "Wishful thinking – that's all it was."

* * *

Khan followed Sara when she left. He expected her to drive back to the motel, but Sara stopped at a store. He didn't like the look of it or the people going in there to shop – all too common for his liking. But he followed her in there none the less. The décor was a horrible shade of blue. The products were cheaply made and made to break or wear out soon after purchase. In all, Khan felt like he was in a consumer hell.

Returning to his main focus, he watched Sara go through the health, beauty, and medicine department. The woman quickly dropped three items in a row into the basket, but Khan could not tell what they were. Then Sara made a stop so abrupt that Khan had to quickly change direction to avoid being seen. Where she had stopped made his blood chill. She was standing in front of the razors. He could see the conflict in her face. Sara seemed to stand there for an age. Then, with trembling hand, she reached down and picked up a packet of straight razors.

Again, Khan wanted to reach out and stop her, but now he feared her reaction in a public place. No. He would wait until she was back at the motel – then would he reveal himself to her. Afraid of being discovered, Khan let Sara finish the rest of her shopping unobserved.

As he left the store, a little old woman stood hunched over at the exit and spoke the words she said to every customer, "Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart."

* * *

An hour after Sara arrived back at the motel, Khan stood at her door ready to knock. Knowing she hadn't eaten all day, Khan had gotten her a pizza – spinach and mushroom on a white sauce – just as she liked it. Khan would have looked like a pizza delivery boy except for he had an expression of uncertainty, longing, and passion tempered under his steel blue eyes rather than an appearance that was zoned out and generally annoyed at the world.

Khan knocked. But, Sara didn't answer. He tried again.

"Pizza."

Khan expected at least an answer of 'Go away', but he heard no reply. Knocking again, he said a little louder, "Pizza. I have your pizza."

Still, Sara made no answer.

"Sara, I know you can hear me. It is me. It is Khan. Open up. We have to talk."

Again, nothing.

"I know who did this to you. We can find them – together."

Silence was the only answer Khan received.

"Sara. I am going to break this door down if you do not open it." Getting no reply, Khan dropped the pizza, stepped back, and kicked the door at its lock. It gave way quickly and Khan immediately entered the room. Sara was no where to be seen. He raced to the bathroom and knocked.

"Sara? It is Khan. Talk to me."

The silence that met him was eerie. This wasn't right. Even if Sara was angry at him, she would at least meet him head on about it.

He reached his hand down to the door handle – not even registering that his hand was shaking. Slowly opening the door, Khan's worst fears were realized. In the bathtub lay Sara – eyes closed and left arm floating in the water. The water itself was red with blood. Sara's right hand lay limp across the rim of the bathtub.

Khan looked from her right arm dripping blood onto the floor. Lying on the floor covered with Sara's blood was a straight razor.

* * *

**Thanks so much to the 195 who have alerted and the 106 who have favourited. You guys are great. I still can't believe what a response this is getting! My thanks to you all. **

**Many many humble thanks to the gracious people who have been commenting:**

**SharkGurl, Sorceress of the Trees, Elliesmeow, WarriorDragonElf54, exaigon, Benedict'sZombieGirl, andalusa, , DanAlaya, icanhazDeath, Korvescence, SemiraBlake, silentxangel, jbuzz, and Harleyluv.**

**Clarifications:**

**I don't know where I said I was not a Star Trek fan. I've always loved it since I was a kid and have seen all the old movies. I don't know why I started watching – just loved the stories.**

**I watched STID 3 times before starting the fic. I just couldn't help going back over and over. I simply thought it was that good and that Benedict's acting was just brilliant. Can't wait to see him as both Smaug and the Necromancer in the next Hobbit movie. **


	16. Punching

**This Chapter:**

**Triggers:**

**Serious situations of self-harm and language – lots and lots of colourful language.**

M for more vibrant language, more mature themes, and sexually mature scenes. I don't own Star Trek, more's the pity. Only my original characters and plot line.

* * *

Loss

Ch 16 - Punching

* * *

"No." Khan breathed.

The word came from Khan's mouth with a sorrow never felt by him before. Only when his crew was killed did his hurt come close to this. When they died, he screamed it with the rage he felt at those who had murdered them. This time, it was a personal plea from the depths of his soul.

"No. Please, no. God, no. NO!" With that last word Khan punched the wall sharply with all his might. But, it didn't make him feel better nor change the situation.

Khan quickly took Sara in his arms and pulled her out of the bloody water. Carrying her to the bed, Khan laid her down as gently as he could before running back to the bathroom to gather towels. It might not be too late. He could still try to stop the bleeding. This is what happened to so many of the other vaccinated women. This is what he could have stopped if he hadn't been so mistrusting and egotistical.

All of this was his fault. As he looked down at Sara's soaked body, still clothed in tank top and knickers, Khan felt for the first time in his life remorse. When his crew had died, he had others to blame it on. Now, it was all on him. Sara couldn't be dead. She just couldn't.

Kneeling down to examine Sara's right wrist, Khan got the shock of his life as he felt a solid fist connect to his right cheek. He stumbled back from the force of it.

Sara had punched him with her left fist.

"You mother-fucking son-of-a-bitch!" Sara, very much alive and not bleeding, yelled at him. Then, before Khan could steady himself, Sara tackled him and started pounding his face with both fists.

"How do you like it, asshole? How do you like being on the receiving end? I thought you were dead, you heartless fuck!" Sara screamed at him through her tears.

Khan stared up in amazement as a soaking wet Sara continued to punch him. Emotionally, he was numb from the shock. Sara had made him think she'd died and that belief had almost killed him.

Physically, he should have felt nothing. Stronger people than Sara had tried to hit him before, and he had felt nothing. Soon his face started to hurt, and he felt a wet substance come from his nose. He knew it was blood. That shouldn't be possible. No ordinary person – male or female – should be able to hit him hard enough with their bare hands to make him bleed. Yet, here Sara was giving Khan a bloody nose.

Then suddenly, as if she realized that she had hurt him, Sara stood up and walked away from the man who had just recently been her punching bag. Khan stood up and wiped the blood away from his nose with his hand.

"You did this to punish me." Khan's voice was matter of fact.

Sara shook her head. "Don't you dare try to make me feel bad. You . . . you went through in minutes what you made me deal with in a fucking month!"

"I deserved it." Khan said quietly.

"Don't try to act the vict . . . What? What did you say?" Sara could not believe her ears.

"I deserved every last thing that you just put me through." Khan took a step closer to her. "Sara, I am going to say words that I have never spoken before to another living breathing person. Sara, I am sorry. I never intended to hurt you this way. But, I didn't need your death to prove to me how much I love you."

"Bullshit! Then, why did you wait? You were there at the museum. You were there in fucking Wal-Mart. You were here for an hour before you knocked on my door! Why did you wait?" Sara's aggression and anger slowly melted into simple hurt and the need for understanding as she spoke.

"I was afraid. At the museum and at that shop, I was afraid you might run from me. I wanted you in a secure location before I revealed myself."

"And just now? You saw what I bought. I made sure you saw that I bought razors. Why did you wait?" Sara refused to left him off easily.

"I brought you food. You should be hungry. You have not eaten all day. You have not eaten much lately."

"How the fuck . . . ? You've been watching me. How long? How long have you been watching me?" Sara's anger grew more with the thought that Khan had been close to her - watching her all this time.

"Two days."

"You sick fuck." Sara made to walk past Khan but he reached his hand out to stop her. She glared at his hand, and he brought both hands up quickly in resignation.

"Please, Sara. That is another first for me. I never say 'please', and I have said it twice in the last ten minutes."

"You also called on God. I thought you considered yourself to be a god."

"I do not know why I said that. All I know is that at that moment I would have given anything to keep you alive. I love you and could not endure your death under any circumstances – and especially for me to be the cause of it."

"Why should I trust you now?"

"Because we have a connection, Sara. You said before that I was the first person you felt comfortable with in a long time. The truth is that I have never had that level of comfort with another person. I am asking you to just listen to me. Ask me anything you want, and I will answer it – truthfully. Just do not leave."

Sara considered Khan. Then she moved to the bed and sat down bringing her legs up underneath her and crossing her arms in front of her stomach.

"Why did you blow the Sunsphere?"

"You'd already gotten all the information we needed from it."

"But that's not all. You knew what I would think when it blew. You knew that I would believe you to be dead."

"You had drugged and bound me. You had me helpless, Sara. I could not let that pass. I had to see what your true feelings were for me."

"You let me wait a month."

"I was doing as you asked. I focused on finding answers for you in the vaccine."

"And did you? Find answers?"

"Some answers – but not all."

"Tell me."

"The vaccine in the vials was based off my work in the future."

"But how did it get here?"

"Probably the same way I did."

"And, how was that?"

"I do not know. What I do know is that the vaccine was made to be defective. It was not made to create women who could carry an augment's child, but to destroy a woman's reproductive system and mental capacities."

"Then why hasn't it worked completely on me? I still have my mind. Wait. You think that my mind is affected."

"The self-harm seems to suggest that."

"But, I haven't been cutting."

Khan raised and eyebrow at her.

"I haven't. I've thought about it, sure. But I haven't done it." Sara took a deep breath before continuing. "So, that vaccine is supposed to destroy all my chances of having children – either from lesser humans or augments?"

"Yes."

"Well, I've got something to show you. And you need to sit down." Sara walked back to the bathroom.

"Sara, what are you doing?" Khan started to follow her. For some reason, he didn't want her going back into the bathroom – the scene of her 'death'.

But, she turned on him and growled, "Sit the fuck down! Just because you did your work for the last month doesn't mean I've forgiven your sorry ass. You are not out of the shitter yet, asshole."

Khan stepped back still a little on edge from Sara's aggressiveness. In the month they'd been apart, she seemed to have gotten more assertive. Perhaps it was simply her anger at him fueling it. He chose to sit down at the end of the bed.

Sara came back holding three plastic sticks in her hand.

"What are these?" Khan tilted his head unsure he wanted to know the answer.

"These are pregnancy tests." She slapped the first one in his right hand. "This one shows two pink lines." She slapped the second in his left hand. "This one shows a blue cross." Sara waited a moment as Khan considered both items. "And this one just comes right out and says it."

"Says what?"

Sara held the third one right in front of his eyes. "Pregnant. It says 'pregnant'. I'm pregnant, you asshole. And if you, for one fucking second, have the balls to say it's not yours, then you won't have your balls for very much longer."

A stunned Khan whispered, "That is not possible."

"That's what I thought too. But, I've been throwing my guts up for the last week." Sara pulled up a small chair and faced Khan. "You don't know what it took for me to buy the first test at the beginning of the week. I thought I'd never need one of those tests again. And now faced with the impossibility that I am pregnant by you and that you were dead and that I was the cause of it. I've been through a hell of your making, and I can't forgive you so easily."

"I am not asking to be forgiven."

"What are you asking for?"

"A blood sample. From the vaccines that I tested, this should not be possible. And if it is true. . ."

Sara shot him a look and held up the last test in alignment with her up turned middle finger.

Khan tried to ignore the insult, "If it is true, then this changes everything. Sara, if we can have a child together, then we could be a family – a real family."

"A fucked up, dysfunctional family. 'Mummy, when did you know you loved Daddy?' 'Right after I saw the tower he was in blow up, dear.'" Sara took a deep breath. "I never took you for the sentimental type, Khan."

He dared to edge closer sensing Sara's body calming. "I have always wanted a family. But, I have never been as desperate for it until I met you."

"You make it sound like I've ruined you." Sara smiled sadly.

"Oh no." Khan reached out to gently caress Sara's cheek. He was surprised she allowed his touch. "You make me better."

* * *

**Thanks so much to the 195 who have alerted and the 105 who have favourited. You guys are great. I still can't believe what a response this is getting! My thanks to you all. **

**Many many humble thanks to the gracious people who have been commenting:**

**SharkGurl, WarriorDragonElf54, Ionerism, Elliesmeow, Korvescence, Benedict'sZombieGirl, exaigon, IcanhazDEATH, Sorceress of the Trees, DanAlaya and the Grasshopper person which for some reason will not let me write the whole name .**

**Also:**

**I know some of you hated me for last chapter and the cliff hanger. Hope this makes amends.**

**Tsora17**


	17. Quickening

**This Chapter:**

**Apologies for the little hiatus. I had not meant to be gone this long. I suppose cliffhangers (even little ones) help me to keep my writing paced, and the last chapter didn't have one. Also, I've had to deal with life - sick family, work, etc. You know how it is. **

M for more vibrant language, more mature themes, and sexually mature scenes. I don't own Star Trek, more's the pity. Only my original characters and plot line.

* * *

Loss

Ch 17 – Quickening

* * *

"Yaaaaaahhh." Sara found it impossible to stifle a yawn and leaned back into the small chair. "I'm sorry. I need to lay down – just for a few minutes. I've started needing naps the last couple of days."

Khan rose from the bed, "I will let you rest."

Sara reached for him. Her hand gripping Khan's wrist with a surprising strength yet she could not meet his gaze. "Don't go. I've been on my own for one horrible, agonizing month. Please, don't go."

Khan tilted her head up towards him and brushed her wild curly dark hair out of her eyes. "I did not want to presume."

"Don't worry. I won't let you. Sit on the bed – all the way to the back."

Khan gave her a curious look but obeyed none the less. While trying to make up for the pain he had caused her, Khan still found it difficult to take orders. Once he was settled, Sara climbed on top of the bed resting her head in his lap. When she curled her arm underneath his thigh, Khan let out a breath he did not realize he was holding. Tentatively, he brought his hand up to stroke her hair.

"Jesus, I've missed you!" Sara let out choking back tears again.

He held her close to him trying to reassure her. "I will never do that to you again."

"Good." Sara wiped away her tears, calmed her breathing, and steadied her voice. "I couldn't survive that again, Khan." Sara was quiet for several seconds before her voice went dark and serious, " . . . and I promise you, next time - neither would you."

Khan couldn't repress the grin that came to his lips. "That's the Sara I know and love. Sleep now, my dear."

* * *

After a few hours sleep, Sara and Khan left her motel room. She started toward her Subie. Khan didn't follow but instead started guiding Sara to his own Subaru.

Looking up at him, Sara's expression mixed indignation with surprise. "Hey, what gives?"

"We are riding in _my_ Subaru. It is older, but I think you will find that it is better."

Sara dug her heels into the gravelly, worn tarmac. "Hang on. Did you steal this?"

"No."

"How did you pay for it then?"

Khan stepped up to her – no space separating them. His voice lowered menacingly. "I had a persuasive conversation with the hotel manager in Knoxville."

Sara paused, a strange feeling coming over her that was mirrored in her face. "If it's all the same, let's take mine."

"You do not believe me?" Khan failed to hide the hurt in his voice.

"It's not that. I just. I can't explain it. I'd just feel better taking mine. Humour me, Khan. Please."

"Very well. But, next time."

"Yes. Next time, we'll take yours."

As both of them climbed into Sara's Subie, a man, hidden in a transit van parked on the street, talked into a communicator that had no business being in 2013.

His voice was steady with a military precision. "I have Khan with an unidentified female in my sights. Request permission to move in."

An older woman's voice responded, "What is he doing?"

"Leaving the site."

"In his own transport?"

"No. They are taking the woman's vehicle."

A moment of silence was ended as the woman replied, "Fall back. Do not pursue."

"Might I remind you, ma'am, that this is the first time we've caught up to him all month. And that's only because he's stayed in the same place for more than a day. After all this time, are you really just letting him go?" The man did not try to hide his frustration.

"Lieutenant, stand down. That is an order. Khan will be coming back. Use this time to get prepared. I want him caught and back on ice. Do not fail in this."

"What about the woman?"

"If she does not interfere, wipe her memory and release her."

"And if she gets in the way?"

The female's cold voice was crisp and clear. "Kill her."

"Ma'am, we don't even know who she is or if she is important. That action would be dangerous. We could be altering our own timeline."

"The true danger would be if she helped Khan to escape. I should not have to remind you of his destruction of San Francisco - of London. You will stand down and get your men ready for an assault as soon as he returns. Surprise is one advantage you cannot afford to lose. This way, you will have time to set a trap, and Khan will walk straight into it."

The lieutenant looked over his shoulder at the team. Over fifteen men had their weapons readied and poised to go after Khan as soon as the word was given. He reluctantly waived them to stand down.

"Yes, ma'am. Understood."

* * *

"Tell me why we are breaking into the Tennessee Aquarium of all places instead of a university or hospital lab?" Sara whispered to Khan – both of them quickly ducking down avoiding a security camera outside said building in the process.

"I had a feeling that by the end of my _borrowing_ of the various labs in Knoxville that I was being watched. The aquarium will have labs with the same equipment but whoever is playing with us should not expect us to come here."

"How to you know the layout?"

"I hacked into the Aquarium's main computer via the internet – Google – I believe it was. Then I memorized the building plans."

"Well, aren't we becoming web-savvy? But, I swear if you start using 'Google' as a verb, I'm going to beat your ass."

"You sound like a grammar Nazi English teacher."

"No. I just have standards."

* * *

Picking the lock was easier than Sara thought it would be; and soon, they were in the lab. Khan could not help a feeling of pride as he watched her work. Once inside, every cell in his body wanted to slam Sara against the closed door and kiss the life out of her.

But, Sara still had not forgiven him yet, and he'd not do anything to push her further away.

However, Sara picked up Khan's vibe. "What is it about breaking and entering that turns you on? Is it the cleverness of the deed or is it because it's illegal?"

"Both. And neither. Simply watching you move and work stirs something in me." He stood as close as he dared to her which left her centimeters from his shoulder. She inhaled Khan's all too familiar scent of arrogance and testosterone. It sent a throb straight to her sex. But for all her body's reactions, her mind fought for control and won.

Sara stepped back and put her herself an arm's distance between them. "Steady on, Khan. We've got work to do first."

"And after the work?" He hadn't stepped towards her, but Khan's voice became a low, intense, and seductive caress making Sara shiver as if he had just run his hand up the inside of her thigh.

It was so damn hard not to give in right there and then. But Sara kept her face clear. Only a slight upturned corner of her lips indicated her emotions. "We'll just have to see."

Khan easily found the supplies to take the blood sample. Yet, Sara could tell that something looked odd. The needle was three times the size of a normal one.

"Hold on. Why the fuck is the needle so big?"

"Apparently the marine mammals skin is thinker than a human's." His tone was matter of fact waving off the huge needle as if it were nothing.

"You're not using that on me."

"Sara, Sara." Khan stepped closer running his left hand over her face and down her neck. She leaned into his touch and drank in his scent. She hated to admit it, but the man made her weak in the knees. Then, Khan made a sudden movement with his right arm.

"Ouch! Fucking hell! You arsehole!" Sara swore as Khan quickly placed the needle in her arm with uncanny precision and started drawing the blood.

He gripped her arm tightly trying to keep her still."Do not struggle. If this comes out, it will only have to go in again."

"Unlike your prick. And, I was just about willing to fuck you again." Sara gritted her teeth and stood still. Soon Khan had enough blood and took the needle out – none too gently.

"Bastard." Sara said under her breath and then sighed – half in worry – half in hope. "How long will it take?" She wanted a confirmation of her pregnancy and she wanted answers as to how it could be possible after she had been barren all this time. Then there was also the mystery of Khan's new information. How could she be pregnant if the vaccine only destroyed women's minds and reproductive system?

"I will need a few minutes of quiet."

Sara nodded and tried to find a way to occupy herself. She started walking around the lab and looking at the various marine animals in the smaller tanks that lined one side of the lab. After she had given Khan what she thought was ample time, she turned back to him. The superior man had gone paler than usual and Sara could swear that his hands were shaking.

"Khan? What is wrong? Is it bad?"

Khan stood up and walked purposefully towards her. "You are pregnant, Sara, with my child."

"Yes. In fact, _I_ told _you_ that back at the motel."

"This confirms it. Oh, my love. We will have a child together. We will be a family!" Khan took her in his arms and kissed her. Their first kiss since both believed the other to be dead. It was roughly sweet and serenely desperate. When they broke apart, Sara hung onto the thoughts to continue.

"How can that be possible? You said that no woman was compatible – not a lesser human – not an augment. So what does that make me?"

"Superior. I said it before but had no idea how true it was. You are superior to all of them. You are twenty steps above the first generation female augments and light years above lesser humans. Your body has accepted me completely. A new, superior life grows inside you. Sara, you . . . you are the answer to all my hopes."

"But you said that the vaccine only caused the body and mind to be destroyed."

"That is correct. But, you were not given the vaccine."

"Bullshit!" Sara yelled in an uncharacteristic rage. "I know what I was given. It made me barren."

"It made you barren to lesser men. Men who are not worthy of you." Khan growled the last sentence. He hated to think of Sara being with her ex-husband, Jerry the policeman, or any other who would dare try to take her away from him.

"Snap out of it, Khan." Sara clicked her fingers in front of his eyes. Only then did he realize that he was towering over her – his breath quickening - coming in and out of his chest sharply. But, Sara had come down from her rage and was all business, "Get back to the point."

"The vaccination changed you, yes. But it was not the same as what the rest of the population was given. I can find no trace of that damning concoction in your system. You were given something – but it was not the same as the others. It has changed you slowly over the years. But, it is complete now. You are augmented."

"Who would do this? Why? I'm not anything special. I'm no different from anyone else." Sara turned away from him.

"That is untrue. Look at me." Khan turned her to towards him and tilted her chin up to meet his face. "You are special to me. Before I even found this out, I knew I loved you. Knew that I needed you." Khan kissed her again and then whispered in her ear, "Please, Sara. We both need this. We both need each other."

"Oh, fuck it!" And with that, Sara launched herself at Khan; and they fought for domination in a furious kiss. Twisting and turning their bodies around each other, neither one ever getting enough. Suddenly, Sara pulled herself away from him. Khan looked at her questioningly. She quickly crossed the room and hopped up on the lab desk cleared from anything hazardous or breakable.

"Well, come on. You gonna make a hormonal, augmented woman wait all day?"

* * *

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	18. Rampaging

**This Chapter:**

**Sex and Violence – enough said.**

M for more vibrant language, more mature themes, and sexually mature scenes. I don't own Star Trek, more's the pity. Only my original characters and plot line.

* * *

Loss

Ch 18 – Rampaging

* * *

Khan considered the woman playfully sitting atop the lab table. Her wild, dark hair had grown in the time they'd been apart – coming gradually over her shoulders now. No one would have called her conventionally pretty, but Sara was beyond that. Her spirit shone through her smile and her eyes. The realization hit Khan in the chest: since the beginning when she first helped him escape his frozen prison, Sara had been his. This was simply the inevitable progression of that fact. Sara, whose slightly plump body had already started to glow, was carrying his child. The child was his. Sara was his. In his lifetime, Khan had called countries and continents 'his', yet nothing filled him with the same joy as calling the woman in front of him, 'his'.

He strode towards Sara with determination and purpose; his pale gaze never leaving her dark eyes. He tilted his head downwards and spoke with almost a menacing intent. He would meet her playfulness with passion. His voice, rich and seductive, purred, "Firstly, I will strip you of every single piece of your clothing. Then, when you are completely naked, I will lick every inch of your flesh with my tongue. And only when your body is hot, dripping, and begging for it will I fill you up with my cock."

Khan stood only inches away from her now. "I will savor you – memorize you. Once I am finished with you here, I will take you back to the motel and start all over again. It will take - hours. Now, my dear Sara, shall we begin?"

Sara had never been more thankful to not be standing. She hated to admit that Khan's words turned her legs turn to goo. Sara tried to sound nonchalant, "There is one slight problem."

"Explain."

"The security camera over your left shoulder. I thought I'd taken care of it earlier, but the light is still on."

Khan pulled out a pistol and took one shot instantly destroying the camera. The once tell-tale red light faded into darkness. He turned back to Sara. She grinned and opened her arms to Khan.

"Now, we can start."

Sara tried to kiss him, but Khan placed a finger on her lips. "First things first. Stripping you comes first." Khan leaned in and ran his hands along the fabric of Sara's shirt ending up putting pressure along the buttons. Starting from the bottom one, Khan took his time unfastening them. His eyes never left Sara's. His gaze was so intense that she couldn't look away.

Pulling it slowly off her arms, Khan was a little surprised to find that Sara only wore a thin tank underneath. "You stopped wearing a bra."

"I just stopped caring. Besides, bras only keep you from developing the muscles you need to give your breasts lift."

"I will take your word for it."

Sara smirked. "I thought you might."

Instead of reaching for the tank top, Khan made easy work of her shoes and socks. He even ran his fingers along the bottom of her foot. Sara laughed and kicked out on reflex.

"You know I'm ticklish. You just like to live dangerously, don't you?"

"Yes. But this is not about that. This is you learning that you are mine. Every pore on your skin, every inch of your body, every cell of the child you are making is mine. I will tickle what is mine if I want."

"Ours." Sara countered.

Khan reaffirmed with a growl. "Mine."

But Sara would have none of it. "Ours, Khan. Our child. Khan, I understand your protectiveness. You suddenly have the start of something you've always wanted and believed would always be out of your reach. If anyone understands this, I do. But don't think this gives you cart blanche to be an possessive arsehole."

"I thought you would get off on seeing my possessive side." He reached for the zip on her jeans and slid it down before unbuttoning them and sliding the denim down her hips. They didn't slide as easily as they did a month ago. Khan smiled at the implication, "You won't be able to wear these much longer."

"Oh, you'll pay for that."

Before Khan knew it, he heard a ripping noise. Looking down, Khan saw a Sara's hands holding an orange box cutter and ripping his shirt from the bottom up.

He brought his eyes up to glare at Sara. "I liked this shirt."

"Diddums." Once Sara had cut all the way to the top, she pushed the offending item off his muscled shoulders and down his arms. "If you say my body belongs to you,"

"And it does."

"Then these," Sara ran her fingers along the sinews of Khan's neck, "are mine. Just like your collar bones and chest." Sara took her time and felt the bone underneath his taught flesh. She slid her hand downwards till she palmed his balls and cock, "And these. These are all mine, and I'll kill any bitch who thinks otherwise."

"Now who's being possessive?"

"I think I don't mind possessive – as long as it works both ways."

Khan maneuvered her hands from his trousers and over her head so that he could pull the tank top off her. It didn't take much to rip her knickers away from her body. Once he was finished, Khan stepped back to look at her. Her nipples were slightly darker and her breasts were a little bigger all the way around giving a fuller appearance.

"You are beautiful."

Sara blushed and looked away, "You'd say that to any woman who carried your child."

Khan gently brought her face back to look at him. "No. You know me, Sara. I do not say things to be kind to a person's feelings."

"Yet when we first met, you agreed with me when I said I wasn't pretty. Which is the truth?"

"Back then you were slightly nervous and protecting yourself – trying to avoid an attraction to me. Lying was the easiest way to put you at ease. Here. Let me prove it to you." Khan stepped closer and, starting at her shoulder running along her neck until he reached her hair, proceeded to lick her skin. The startled woman couldn't help but gasp and Khan stifled a moan.

"Your taste – beautiful. Sara, I would not be here if I did not want to be."

"You don't have to prove anything to me – just take me – now."

Khan grinned. "Not yet. You are not ready yet."

Before Sara could respond, Khan started running his tongue along her shoulder blades and down her breasts. When his lips closed around her darkened nipple, Sara screamed out. He repeated his actions on her breast and made his way down to her sex. Everything that he had done to her caused Sara's body to create the sweetest wetness between her legs. Khan lapped it up – desperate – as if losing even a drop of it would be a disaster.

"Khan?"

He looked up when Sara called his name.

"Feel how fevered my body is." Sara pulled his hand up to touch her forehead and face. She was hot underneath his touch. "You've licked up all the evidence of my dripping. And, I don't even know how else to beg: Please, if you love me, fuck me now!"

Stepping back abruptly, Khan wouldn't give Sara a chance to attack his trousers with her box cutter and quickly got out of both trousers and pants with one movement. He slid his cock into her with an easily which belied his frustration. All this time away from her had only enhanced his body's need of Sara. It would have been so easy to take her roughly now. But Khan had to remember the child. The child may be superior, but he or she still needed to be protected from the full potential force of his body's passion.

Rocking in and out of Sara at a languid pace, Khan rejoiced at the contact. Familiar yet different as Sara's body was already undergoing changes. She was reduced to a series of whimpers and moans before begging again. "Please. I need it. I need to cum."

Khan's eyes found hers and held their gazes locked together. Then he reached down with his fingers and tweaked her clit until Sara was spasming around him. The extra tightness and force of her movements brought his orgasm with a roar.

Each augment – old and new – held each other for dear life as they came down from their highs. Smiling and laughing, they kissed with a sweetness never experienced by either one before. Then Khan redressed and helped Sara to do so as well. After that, Khan took a minute to destroy any potential camera footage. Collecting Sara's blood sample and putting it into a small iced cooler, Khan placed it into the Subie before returning to her.

As Sara tried to hop down from the desk, her legs betrayed her and she clung to Khan for support.

"I'm sorry. My legs – a bit wobbly."

"Do not worry." Khan scooped Sara up into his arms and started walking out of the lab, "I will drive us back."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her head in his shoulder mumbling, "This is so embarrassing."

"No. Sara, look at me."

Sara complied and looked into Khan's mesmerizing gaze.

"You are carrying my child and have just been ravished by me. Any other response would be – insulting."

Sara narrowed her eyes. "Khan, I love you desperately; but we have got to talk about your ego issues."

* * *

As they walked up to Sara's motel room, her mood was a little better. She had finally gained her legs back and her own ego felt better that she did not have to rely on Khan to carry her. As she looked around the parking lot, Sara noticed that some things were not right. However, she was too distracted by Khan standing close behind her and kissing her neck to verbalize any true concern. She fumbled for the keys and unlocked the door. As she starting pushing the door open, Khan's body stiffened behind and he all but pushed her to the ground as he growled, "Down!"

Suddenly, multiple weapons were fired and Sara feared for Khan's life as she watched him dodge one blast after another. Laser blasts – that's what they must have been. Sara watched bolts of energy fired from futuristic looking guns. But regardless of how fast they were being fired, Khan bore down on the closest shooter slamming his fist into the man's face. Sara heard bone crunching as the impact happened and watched the man fall to the floor – limp and lifeless.

Khan picked up the man's weapon and began firing at the rest of the attackers. With the weapon in his hands, he made short work of them; dropping another six of them before the words he had most hated to hear were spoken by the Lieutenant, "Put the weapon down or the woman dies."

Khan stopped and saw the Lieutenant with his gun lowered straight at Sara's head. He glanced down to Sara quickly, but she avoided his eyes. Then he saw a glint of orange at the bottom of her shirt cuff. He knew what he needed to do. He needed to give her time and figure out how to protect her from the other guns trained on them at the same time.

"Why should I care if a lowly human dies?"

"That's what I'm asking. But obviously, you do care or you wouldn't have stopped in the first place. It's unlikely that this is the same woman who freed you from the warehouse."

"And why is that?"

"You wouldn't let any lesser human help you for this long. That one would be dead by now. So, how long has he had you, Miss?" The Lieutenant looked down at Sara – his concern for her clear.

"A. . . about a week." Sara turned to the Lieutenant her eyes wet with tears. "Please, don't kill me. He made me go with him, help him. It's not my fault." Sara started to make her way on her hands and knees towards the Lieutenant.

"Stop. Don't come any closer."

"But, I need your protection. Don't let him take me again." Sara reached out with her hand as if pleading for help. The Lieutenant failed to see the orange box cutter concealed in her hand. But, before she could do anything, Khan fired at the man's shoulder making him drop the gun. Then before Sara could even pick it up to help, Khan dispensed with the rest of the men in a rampage that even began to scare Sara. At the end, he didn't even need his weapon any more. Bare hands crushed skulls and even the ones who threw their weapons down and begged for mercy received none.

When he was finished, he went straight to Sara and whispered, "Say nothing and looked scared. Are you hurt?"

Sara shook her head.

"Have you spoken to that man since I shot him?"

Again, Sara shook her head.

"Whatever I do, follow my lead." Khan hissed into her ear before standing up.

Khan walked over to the man who had threatened Sara. "These weapons are beyond even the time where I was in the future. How many years after my defeat at San Francisco are you?"

"Thirty years."

"Who sent you? Who is after me? They've sent me back into the past. They must have thought I would stay frozen here until the pod malfunctioned and I died."

"I can't say."

"Would you prefer your a court martial at their hands or your death at mine?" The Lieutenant remained silent. "Or perhaps you'd rather see me hurt this little common girl in front of you. This girl has begged for your protection. Shame you've failed her and your commander as well."

"Stop. Do not hurt her."

"Then tell me who has attacked me."

The Lieutenant looked over at Sara as he gave the name, "Admiral Marcus."

Khan laughed. "Impossible. I crushed Alexander Marcus' skull with my bare hands as his worthless daughter and Kirk watched."

The Lieutenant struggled for breath. "No. Not Alexander Marcus. It's Carol – his daughter. Admiral Carol Marcus is the one giving me orders."

* * *

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	19. Sacrificing

M for more vibrant language, more mature themes, and sexually mature scenes. I don't own Star Trek, more's the pity. Only my original characters and plot line.

* * *

Loss

Ch 19 - Sacrificing

* * *

A coldness cascaded through Khan's body. The numbness swirled through his brain, down the defined muscles in his neck before flowing down to his shoulders until it set up residence in his heart. This could not be happening.

_Carol Marcus._ Of all the people he'd considered to be behind it all, Carol was never even a part of the list. Who would have thought that the blond haired bimbo had the balls to come after him? Surely there was more to this than revenge for killing her father. Carol, herself, had not agreed with Alexander Marcus' policies before the end. However, Khan realized that she still probably had not condoned him crushing her father's skull right in front of her eyes. In fact, Khan did vaguely remember her screaming – both from him crushing her knee and the horror of watching her father's skull cave in.

Khan had to think quickly. Obviously, if Carol Marcus had sent him into the past, she did so out of fear. He had to somehow convince her that he was no longer a threat. Above all, he could not allow Carol to discover the existence of Sara and the pregnancy. He strode over to the Lieutenant who was still clutching his shoulder and towered over the injured man whose sandy-blonde bangs fell slightly into his eyes.

"I am going to let you live. In return you will take a message for me to Ad-mir-al Carol Marcus." Khan drew out the syllables in 'Admiral' as if they left bad taste in his mouth. "I am weary of these games. All I wish for is to be left alone. Now that I know who sent me back, I am content to live my life here. I have lost my kingdoms; I have lost my people; I wish to keep my life. I will accept my exile if Admiral Marcus stands down."

The Lieutenant shook his head. "You're wasting your time. She won't believe you. She's too paranoid."

"Of what?"

"Of you. That you would come back some day."

"Unless one has help, it is fairly difficult to get oneself out of a stasis tube." Sarcasm seethed out of Khan's mouth.

"And yet, you did it. Who's been helping you? Which member of your crew is it? Who of your kind found his way back here?"

"My crew is dead. Complements of Spock, Kirk, and Starfleet." Khan paused a moment, "You said, 'Your kind'. What do you mean by that? I am the only augment left in existence."

"Your crew remained in stasis. Didn't you know they're . . ?" The blond man faltered – again fearing to say the wrong thing. Khan had promised not to kill him, but the man knew how volatile Khan was.

"They are what?"

"Alive. Your crew is alive." The Lieutenant's eyes focused on Khan; but out of the corner of his left eye, he saw the woman who was with Khan as he entered the room slip away. 'Good', he thought to himself, 'at least she can get away if I can keep Khan talking.' Khan's voice brought the Lieutenant back to the conversation.

"You are mistaken. My crew was killed by Spock. The Vulcan exploded all the torpedoes after beaming them aboard my ship. He is nothing more than a cold-blooded murderer."

The man shook his head, desperate to keep Khan's attention away from his escaping female captive. "They weren't in the torpedoes. None of them are dead. They were kept in stasis for twenty years before people started lobbying for their human rights. After five years of lobbyists fighting for your crew's release, they were freed."

The Lieutenant was surprised. Khan looked truly shocked at the information.

"No. They died! Spock killed them."

"Captain Spock took them out of the torpedoes before beaming them aboard your ship. Your crew stayed on the Enterprise. They are alive. I swear. Or at least they were."

"Explain." The word coming from Khan's lips was a growl.

"They were given a small M-class planet as a new home. Primitive – with no other people inhabiting it. The only technology they were given was a communications system. They were given instructions to report to Starfleet every six months with updates of their progress. For four years, the updates have come. Now, there has been no word for an entire year."

"Why was I not awakened and allowed to join them?"

"Admiral Marcus feared that you would lead your people against Starfleet and her family. She fears your return more than anything else. So she hid your stasis tube in the past and reported that your tube had malfunctioned. Now she believes that their silence and your freedom are connected."

"My people are alive?"

"Yes."

"And they may be in danger?"

"Yes."

"Tell me about Admiral Marcus' family."

"What? I. . . I can't." The Lieutenant stopped short as if afraid he'd said too much already.

"Remember, I said that I will let you live. I did not say I would not cause you more pain." Khan made a move towards him.

He held up a hand in submission; but when he spoke, he did not speak of the Admiral. "All . . . all I know is that ten years ago there was a movement – to set you and your kind free."

"If I had been released, I would have no reason to go after Carol Marcus. The main ones that I would have vengeance on are Kirk and Spock. Ah," Khan's voice dropped an octave, "let me guess – she'd fallen in love with that cowboy – Kirk." Khan grimaced and made a face. "And to think, my actions partially brought them together. I am sure he was very 'comforting' after her father's death. Uh, I think I might be nauseous."

"She is married to Captain Kirk. They have a son - David. He's in Starfleet as well."

Khan let out a hiss. "Just one big _Starfleet_ family." He paused and then tilted his head as he spoke, expecting to see Sara where he'd left her – but she was gone.

He quickly turned back and questioned the Lieutenant, "The woman – where is she?

"I don't know. She simply left."

"When did she leave?"

"I don't . . . know. Sometime after I said that your crew was alive."

Khan started for the door.

The Lieutenant called after him. "Wait. Let her go. She doesn't mean anything to you. She's an innocent."

Khan turned on the man – his eyes blazing. "You will stay out of this. You know nothing of her." Khan strode over to the man and grabbed his jaw roughly applying pressure to the bone. "If you lie to me, I will give you an entire new vocabulary of pain. When did she leave?"

"Please . . . right after I said your crew was alive . . . I...I swear."

He released the man's jaw in disgust. He and Sara needed to talk. This information had the potential to change everything. Why would she leave without saying a word?

Khan stopped himself. This – his crew being alive - _changed everything_. He no longer had one family – Sara and their child. Now that his crew was alive, Khan had two families.

"Sara." He said to himself and the Lieutenant stayed silent. "Sara?" Khan raised his voice looking to the door that had been closed quietly after she'd left. By the time Khan had run out the door, he was repeatedly yelling her name, "Sara!" over and over.

Khan raced to the car park and looked for Sara's Subie. It was gone. Running his hands through his hair, desperation flooded his system. He looked at the road in both directions trying to decide which way she had gone, but there was nothing to be seen. Racing to his own Subaru preparing to follow her, Khan found a paper held down by only the windshield wiper. The words were written in a hasty scrawl with damp smudges smearing some of the letters.

_I will not make you choose. Do what you must. I will keep us safe. _

Khan's chest constricted. She'd left. Sara had gone without them even talking things through. She was sacrificing their happiness due to her misplaced notion of honor. Suddenly, Khan simply needed to smash something. Racing back into the room, Khan made quick work of the furniture. Once he secured a long metal pole from a lamp, Khan proceeded to repeatedly smash the bodies that were already dead. When they were beaten so badly that DNA records would have to be used, Khan stopped and turned around – eying the Lieutenant who watched the scene in horror.

The blond man looked at Khan and saw his face covered in the blood of his former colleagues and friends. Tears streamed down Khan's face mixing with the blood and washing it down his neck.

"I can't believe it. You actually love that woman."

"That is no business of yours. Take me to Admiral Marcus. And, if you mention the woman to her, I will make you watch as I take out your lower intestine and use it as a noose. I will wrap it around your neck and hang you slowly with it."

"Alright. I understand." The Lieutenant nodded.

"No, you don't. But, you will." Khan's deep voice was grim.

* * *

Sara drove away from the motel with all the courage she could muster. Leaving Khan was the hardest thing she'd ever had to do. She refused to make Khan choose between his first family and his second. If she had been in a normal condition, Sara would have gladly gone with Khan wherever and whenever he needed to go. But, she was pregnant - with a miracle child somehow created because she had been augmented. Sara could not risk her unborn child by crossing time and being shot at by Khan's enemies.

The attack at the motel had been her wake up call. Of course she had been afraid for Khan. But as Sara crouched on the floor protecting her stomach with her arms wrapped around it, the realization hit her that she was going to be a mother. This was real. The life growing inside her was real. And the imminent danger to that life was real. Just being around Khan was a threat to their child. She had no choice – she had to leave.

She drove for a couple of hours heading south. When she finally got off the interstate and pulled off onto a quiet stretch of road, Sara took the time to change license plates. Good-bye Tennessee, hello Georgia. Just as she finished and turned around, Sara saw a middle-aged blond lady standing right behind her. Nothing was odd about the woman's clothes, but Sara felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up. Nobody could have walked up on her that quietly. Before Sara could get in the Subie, the blond lady spoke, "Hello, Sara. I'm Carol. And we need to talk."

As Sara started to run, she heard a sound she'd only just learned to name – laser fire.

Carol watched as Sara fell to the ground – stunned. She sighed and put her phaser back into her pocket, "That's the young for you. Always want to do things the hard way."

* * *

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	20. Traveling

Thanks for your brilliant feedback and support – and as always, your patience in awaiting my chapters. Love to you all.

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* * *

**This Chapter:**

**Major plot spoilers for ST:ID. **(Why does the last part of that look like some weird emoticon?) Anyway, you've been warned. **:ID**

M for more vibrant language, more mature themes, and sexually mature scenes. I don't own Star Trek, more's the pity. Only my original characters and plot line.

* * *

Loss

Ch 20 - Traveling

* * *

Khan crossed the room and grabbed the Lieutenant's good arm just below the shoulder. He jerked the man to his feet and steadied him.

"Now, you will take me to Admiral Marcus."

"That's not so easy."

"Explain."

"Time traveling is more advanced than it used to be. We no longer have to slingshot around the sun. But Starfleet made sure that it wouldn't be _too_ easy. A small unit is embedded in the wrist. You can only be transported if it is in you. As soon as the person's heart stops beating, the unit turns itself off. It cannot be restarted."

Khan turned his head to view the carnage of the dead bodies strewn across the room. "So, all the units in the rest of your crew...?"

"Are worthless. Yes. It was a precautionary measure to make sure no one from the past came forward."

"There is one unit left." Khan grinned with a menacing intent.

The Lieutenant gulped. "Yes. There is. But there's more. It will only work when the person's DNA is programmed into it."

"So how did Marcus expect to bring me back then?"

The Lieutenant pulled a small device about ten centemeters in length out of his pocket.

"This one has your DNA – from the left over blood rememenants of what was given to Kirk."

At those words, Khan's body stilled. Ice flooded his body at the Lieutenant's implications. "What do you mean? My blood was given to Kirk?"

"He'd sacrificed himself to save the Enterprise. When McCoy found that your blood could bring the dead back to life, he took a chance that it would work."

Khan closed his eyes and exhaled letting the irony and wrongfulness of it settle into his bones. "And it did. My very blood was used to bring my enemy back to life."

"Kirk was never truly your enemy."

"Of course, that is what you've been told. Did they tell you that he had his little Scottish minion fire on me when all I wanted was justice for what Alexander Marcus had done to my people?" Khan took a breath to calm himself. "So, what does Carol what with me? My head brought to her on a platter?"

"No. She wanted you brought to her alive. I am uncertain what her plans are after that."

Khan's face turned grim with determination. "Well, why don't we find out?"

Khan took a shard of glass from what was shattered on the floor and opened up a small slit in his wrist. He ignored the pain. He ignored the look he got from the Lieutenant. Then he took the tiny device and pushed it past his skin and in between the muscles of his left wrist. Once he was certain it was secure, Khan wripped the fabric from one of the dead Starfleet soldier's dark uniform and wrapped it around his wrist. Finally, he shed his torn shirt – torn by Sara in the heat of their passion at the Aquarium, and took a shirt from a different dead man. After he pulled the tight black shirt across his muscled back, he lifted his torn shirt again.

Sara. His heart wrenched at the thought of the mother of his child out there in the world on her own. But, she had made her choice. And Khan knew that before they could be together, he would have to fulfill his duty to his people. If they were in danger, he would have to save them. Then and only then could he make a life with her and his child.

"Now. Take me to Carol Marcus."

The Lieutenant nodded, and Khan looked for him to take out his communicator. But before Khan knew it, the Lieutenant had pressed down on a point in his wrist; and they were gone in a haze of swirling light.

Gone was the motel room from 2013 littered with bodies of dead Starfleet officers. Instead, Khan and the Lieutenant found themselves on on the bridge of the most advanced ship he'd ever seen. As he looked around, he noticed with pride that many of the devices he was seeing had their root in _his_ innovations.

Carol Marcus sat in the captain's chair. The only difference between the one Khan had met in the past and the one in front of him now were the lines creasing her face.

She noticed her injured officer. "Take the Lieutenant down to medical."

When she spoke, two men came to Khan and took the officer away from him. Khan released him without another thought. The man had brought him to Admiral Marcus. His usefulness was over.

"Admiral Marcus, all this time and you can't even bother to change your hair cut. I am surprised. The last time I saw you, Carol, you were howling in pain on the floor of my bridge."

"The last time I saw you, Khan, you were a frozen man in a stasis pod that didn't have many years left in it. But don't worry, I didn't bring you here for payback – although you broke my knee and murdered my father in front of my eyes."

"The very father who was keeping you a prisoner? I don't believe there was a lot of love lost between the two of you at the end. Now, why did you keep me from my people?"

"I didn't want you to come back to avenge yourself on my family."

"So why have you brought me here now?"

"I need you to go to your people."

"Why? Why would you care now? Of course, you don't care. But something has changed since you first sent me into the past."

"I need you to find Jim."

Khan looked at her questioningly.

"Slowly, over the years, Jim has been affected by the same transfusion of _your_ blood that saved him thirty years ago. As the debate over your people's fate was waged, he became more and more despondent. Jim's been missing for over a year. I've searched for him. Starfleet's searched for him. They are wanting to declare him dead. But, I believe that he's on the planet your people were given. The one place that no Starfleet officer can go. While your people were given the planet, the rest of the galaxy was given strict orders not go there. He's broken enough regulations to earn himself a courtmarshall if he did."

"Why would he go to my people? For what purpose? To do what?"

"Rule over them and bring them back to their glory – or kill them all? I have no idea which way his mind was leaning. All I know is that his agression became worse and he slowly became obsessed with your people."

"You have an audacity in asking me for help."

"Oh, I'm not asking you, Khan. I'm ordering you."

"What makes you believe that I will comply with an order from you?"

Carol's lips slipped into a thin grin. "A little bird told me. Well, she's not that little. Really, Khan, I didn't think that the plump girls were your type."

Khan's breath stopped, but he composed himself quickly trying to hide the fact that Carol's words had affected him.

"I am unaware of your meaning."

"Have you forgotten your little fuck toy so quickly? Sara's feelings will be hurt. Well, they would be if she were awake for me to tell her."

Khan made a move towards Carol and every member of the bridge crew drew their weapons. Khan stopped his movements, but growled out. "What have you done with her?"

"Oh, she's quite safe – as long as her stasis pod doesn't malfunction during the time you've gone to find Jim."

"What?"

Carol nodded and the screen behind them showed one of Khan's original stasis pods. As the image was zoomed in, Khan could make out Sara's face inside the pod. His heart virtually stopped. The pods had never been tested on a pregnant woman. Khan had no idea what it would do to Sara or the child she carried inside her.

"Get her out. Now. Get her out right now!"

"She will be freed when you bring Jim back to me."

"You don't understand. Sara is pregnant. With my child. Those pods were never tested on a pregnant subject."

"Then you need to make a start. This is an exchange of loved ones. I will only release Sara when you bring Jim back to me alive and without major injuries. Oh, and by the way, you need to know that these pods are getting older. They are not as stable as they used to be. It's possible that the whole system itself could fail at any time."

"Why don't I just kill you now and take her back? You may have your crew, but you know who I am. And although you have seen what I did in the past, it is _nothing _compared to what I will do to you in order to take back Sara and my child."

"One very simple answer: because she's not actually on board. And, I'm the only one who knows her location. It's not on any documentation you might try to trace. Sara is at my mercy."

"Then use that mercy. You are a mother. How would you feel if David had been attacked while he was in your womb?"

Carol blinked. She was less surprised that Khan knew about David and more surprised that he would appeal to her mothering instincts. She swallowed. "True. But how would you feel if Sara had lost her senses and gone on some crazed mission? What would you do to get her back? You will get Jim back for me. Only then will I release Sara to you."

Khan bowed his head as Carol spoke. When he looked back up at her, Khan's eyes were the palest she'd ever seen them. Carol for the first time since Khan's return felt fear in her stomach.

"If Sara dies – if my child dies, there will be no corner of the galaxy to which you can run. I will kill Kirk. I will kill David – both with the slowest and most painful ways I can imagine. I will make you watch. And only when I am done satisfying my revenge will it be your turn. You will beg to all the gods in the known universe for death by the time I am done with you."

Carol set her jaw and said cooly, "Well then, at least we understand each other. You will be given a small non-Starfleet ship."

"Which will be weaponless."

"Correct. However, we will give you whatever weapons you require for dealing with the situation on the planet surface. You will not have any assitance from me once you leave this base. Your only communication with this base will be once you have safely completed your mission."

"How do I know that this isn't some ploy? That I won't be stranded and left to die once I set down on this planet you talk about?"

"That's just it, Khan. You don't. But, if you want Sara, the woman who's carrying your child, to be free, you'll do it my way. Oh, and one more thing."

Khan looked down to the woman he despised. "What?"

"I will be sending the Lieutenant back with you."

Khan rolled his eyes. "I don't need your stooge with me for motivation."

"I know. But this is his punishment for telling you about David."

* * *

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	21. Understanding

M for more vibrant language, more mature themes, and sexually mature scenes. I don't own Star Trek, more's the pity. I only own my original characters and plot line.

* * *

Loss

Ch 21 - Understanding

* * *

The Lieutenant sat across from Khan in the small vessel Admiral Marcus had given them. New Vulcan in origin, the ship had been stripped of its weapons per her orders. As Khan pulled away from the Admiral's dreadnought class ship, he saw its name, the _USS Herodotus_, and grinned.

"What is it?" The Lieutenant had kept himself quiet since he was told of his assignment to help Khan, but now he was curious.

"The name," Khan's deep voice crooned, " – do you not find it amusing?"

"Herodotus is called the father of history." The young man answered.

"True, but Voltaire also called him the father of _lies_. A strangely fitting tribute for her captain – or should I say – her admiral."

A few moments after Khan set their course and sent them into warp, the Lieutenant offered, "I am . . . sorry."

Khan ignored him – staring out into the darkness of space.

The Lieutenant tried again. "I didn't know that the Admiral was going to capture the woman."

Khan gritted his teeth.

"Please. You have to believe me." The Lieutenant was quietly earnest which made Khan all the angrier.

The superior man hissed, "The only thing I 'have to' do, Lieutenant, is find Jim Kirk, bring him back to his psychotic wife, and retrieve my family. Believing your intentions is not in that equation."

"Is the woman really pregnant?"

"Sara!" Khan yelled turning his head fiercely towards the Lieutenant. "The 'woman' has a name – and it is 'Sara'." Khan took a deep breath after his outburst and lowered his head. Small streams of tears slipped from both eyes. Then, he said more to himself than the man sitting across from him, "She is pregnant with my child."

"I thought that was impossible."

"Sara's existence makes anything possible." Khan looked almost wistful as he said the words.

"I don't understand."

Khan rotated his chair 90 degrees. The movement startled the Starfleet officer turning his head to completely attend to Khan instead of the instrument panel in front of him.

"Because of Sara, I will go to this planet and bring Jim Kirk back to his fishwife." Khan sneered as he insulted Carol before continuing, " If he will not come willingly, I will drag his unconscious body from the wreckage of our fight and lay him at the feet of Carol Marcus. And if Admiral Marcus does not give Sara to me, I will destroy everything she ever cared for right in front of her eyes."

The Lieutenant swallowed, "You're very open with your plans."

Khan moved his chair back to the main screen. "I have told you nothing that Carol does not already know."

"What of your original crew?"

Khan sighed. "I will find a way to help them should they need it. But, Sara comes first. Before you, before Kirk and the Admiral, before my people, before myself – Sara and my child shall always come first."

The Lieutenant nodded. A moment of silence passed before the Lieutenant ventured, "You're not what I expected."

Tilting his head slightly, Khan almost purred, "Tell me, Lieutenant, what did you expect?"

"We were always taught that you were cold, ruthless, and vicious."

"You were taught correctly. I am all those things. I am ice and fire, loyalty and vengeance. I am a savage."

"Savages don't usually put others before themselves."

Khan glanced at him sideways ignoring that last comment before continuing, "You know this assignment is Carol's revenge for you telling me about David."

"No." The Lieutenant shook his head. "The admiral is a professional. She wouldn't stoop to such petty actions."

"Just like she would not demean herself by capturing a defenseless pregnant woman from the past and placing her in a situation where both her life and the life of her unborn child are at risk?"

"What are you talking about? The Admiral said the woman," the Lieutenant paused when Khan's eyes shot him an angry look at his use of that last word.

"Say her name. Say it!"

The Lieutenant gulped, "The Admiral said that Sara was just being held in a secure location until you bring back Kirk."

"A stasis tube in good condition is secure, but the one in which Sara is trapped is original from our flight from Earth over 300 years ago. Everything built by man has a lifespan. The tube Sara is in may be reaching the end of its life. If the tube dies, so does Sara. So does my child. Do you understand now, Lieutenant?"

Khan watched the Lieutenant's expression harden and darken. "I understand. I truly did not know, Khan."

The superior man nodded. "So, what are your feelings right now towards the good Admiral?"

"Khan, I've never hit a woman before, but I do believe I could make an exception in her case."

"You will never have the chance because _I_ will get to her first. But, if you are loyal to me, I will let you watch as I rip her heart of stone out of her puny chest. If you are disloyal, your heart will be next." Khan thought for another moment. "What is your proper name, Lieutenant?"

"Ethan, Ethan Marshall."

"Well, Mr. Marshall, let's go find the renegade Kirk."

* * *

While at warp, Khan took the opportunity to conserve his energy. Marshall watched as Khan retreated into himself. Everything about his body seemed to slow. As they neared the planet, however, Khan quickly came out of it.

"Scan for life, Marshall."

"Scanning. I see a settlement a mile away from the coastline on the continent to your left."

"Good. Find an area topographically conducive for hiding our craft and at least half a kilometer from the settlement."

"I think I've found just the place."

"Show me." Khan looked at the image that appeared on his screen. "Very good. Make the preparations to land."

Settling down on the alien world, Khan and Marshall armed themselves. The planet itself was Earth like, and Khan spared a thought in hope that all 72 members of his original crew were still alive. Khan looked at the blond man assisting him.

"You will follow my lead, Marshall. Only fire if I fire first."

"Understood."

As the two slowly left the safety of the shuttle, they kept their weapons held low against their bodies. Both men trod silently across the ground. Only after fifty feet did the human realise something was wrong. To Marshall, Khan moved in reaction to some unseen and unknown danger as he whirled around to level his gun at the attacker who'd suddenly appeared from no where holding a makeshift spear in his hand mere inches away from Khan's chest. While the gun was obviously the more advanced weapon, Khan knew from such close distance the spear could cause damage in the hands of another superior being.

As the two augments stared each other down, a moment of recognition passed between the two advanced beings.

"Khan?"

"Demetri?"

"Is it you? Or another trick by the Federation?" The brown haired man still holding the spear scrutinized his former leader. "Khan, we were told you were dead!"

"And, who I wonder, told you that lie?"

"A new augment named Kirk. He told us that you saved him with your blood."

"Did he tell you that blood was taken against my will?"

"No." Demetri replied in a mixture of disgust and anger at the thought of an ordinary human stealing superiority. "Khan, you know my loyalty to you is beyond question. What do you need from me?"

Khan's mouth widened in a devilish smile, "I need you to take me to him, Demetri. Take me to James Kirk."

* * *

In the cold depths of the _USS Herodotus_, a lone stasis tube sat in a storage compartment which until recently had held items only needed for the most obscure engineering repair. Carol had ordered the room to be cleared before the tube had gone inside. Then, she changed the identification on the door to "Authorized Crew Only". After that she set the security on the door to only allow someone with Level 5 clearance to enter the room. On the _Herodotus_, she was the only one with clearance that high.

The knowledge that no one could reach that pod without her permission made Carol smile. She would succeed where her father had failed. She would make Khan do her bidding and then destroy him before he had a chance to turn on her. Yes, Carol only had one hostage as opposed to seventy-two, but she knew that one woman was just as important to Khan as his original crew had been. This time, Khan would not be allowed to fight back. This time, Khan would not manipulate a vulnerable Kirk into working with him. This time, Khan would not survive.

Carol's determination that nothing would go wrong drove her to extreme actions. So much was her fear that someone would reveal the tube's location to Khan that no one else on board knew it was actually there. She was also so paranoid that no guards were posted either in the room or outside the doors. So confident was the Admiral's belief in her security measures that she did not even have security cameras installed – too many questions would be raised. For who would need cameras in a secured room with a single two meter tube inside?

Carol brushed her straight blond bangs away from her eyes and sighed. Everything was perfect. The set-up, the plan, and even her secondary plan were perfect. Soon she would have her husband back and revenge on the man who'd killed her father thirty years ago.

"Soon, father." the Admiral whispered to herself. "Soon."

* * *

In the small storage bay, Sara's stasis tube made for a eerie tomb. Sara's features were frozen in a state of unrest. When he was last in his tube, Khan's smile froze into a knowing smirk in an understanding that somehow he would return. But Sara's face was set in fear and pain not knowing what would become of Khan, herself, or her unborn child.

Sara had been frozen in the midst of high emotions: fear, pain, rage. She had fought, and Carol had not been kind. Before coming aboard the _Herodotus, _Carol had officers loyal to her do the act. Instead of putting Sara into an artificial sleep and then freezing her, Carol, from the security of her ready-room, had ordered that Sara be awake for the entire process. Sara had screamed. Carol had smiled. Then, it was easy to get those same officers to beam the tube directly into the room.

Now, the sight of Sara's frozen visage was disturbing through the frosty window of the tube. Her mouth twisted. Her brow furrowed.

Hundreds of years from her birth and light years away from the man she loved, Sara was not merely a human or even a first generation augment. Khan had said that Sara was superior – that somehow she was the next form of augmentation.

Alone, in the stillness of the silent storage bay, the superior Sara Trevathan opened her eyes.

* * *

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	22. Vindicating

**This Chapter:**

Apologies for the delay. Life and all that. Many thanks for your continued patience.

M for more vibrant language, more mature themes, and sexually mature scenes. I don't own Star Trek, more's the pity. Only my original characters and plot line.

* * *

Loss

Ch 22 – Vindicating

* * *

Sara's first breath in the future was a small amount of stifling air sealed into her cryo-tube. Her first instinct was to panic. Darkness surrounded her for Carol had not seen the point in lighting the room; and when Sara reached out into the blackness, her hand met with a hard barrier. Remembering that she was sealed in one of Khan's ancient cryo-tube's, the reality flooded into the pregnant woman that this small container with its limited air supply would soon be her tomb – her child's tomb.

Memories of who she was rushed back to her consciousness: Khan, their unborn child, the blond lady who had captured her, the traumatic experience of being placed awake into the cryo-tube. The thought that brought her back to herself was her child. However, impossible it might be, the dark haired woman had to escape for her child to live. Slowing her breathing to conserve what air there was, Sara shifted inside the tube. Trying to give her arm the biggest amount of space, Sara pulled her fist as close to her shoulder as possible before striking out with all her force.

She let out a yell in response to the pain radiating down through her knuckles. Focusing in spite of the hurt, she punched out again. Sara didn't need any illumination to know that blood was starting to flow from her broken skin. After the third strike and feeling the glass give slightly, Sara allowed herself a sliver of hope. Reaching out with her left hand, she felt the hairline crack that her efforts had caused. Calling on all her rage to give her strength, Sara renewed her assault on the glass barrier. As she worked at it with determination hitting it over and over again, the crack grew and spread until it succumbed to Sara's wrath. Finally, her strong but bloodied fist punched through the cryo-tube.

Both hands now worked to push the top of the tube down to allow her escape. Where before only her right hand was bleeding, now the left one was as well. Once the lid shifted back, she pulled herself up into a seated position inside the tube and tried to calm her breathing; but her lungs were so thankful for the plentiful air that it took her several minutes to regulate her breathing to a normal rate.

'Well, I am breathing for two aren't I?' Sara thought to herself and immediately her hands went to her slightly rounded belly. The blood from her damaged hands smeared over that area of her shirt.

"Are you ok, little one?" Sara whispered into the darkness. "Yes, yes. You'll be ok," Sara soothed. "I'll be ok. Your daddy will be ok. But you know who won't be ok? You know that already, don't you, love?" Sara's lips curved into a grin. "That blond fucking bitch that did this to us. I don't know who she is, but I know one thing about her, my child. She is a dead woman."

* * *

"Perhaps it would be better to take you to some of the others first." Demetri responded to Khan's order to lead him to Kirk.

"And why would that be?" Khan glared at him.

"Kirk is popular. Many see him as your replacement as he carries your blood. You would better your chances to reveal yourself to your most loyal subjects first and then to confront Kirk."

Khan fought against his need to command absolute authority among his people and his realization that Demetri's plan was the best one if he were to be successful and bring Kirk back to Marcus. Once he did that, Marcus would give Sara back to him. He had to think of Sara and his child first – not his ego.

Eventually, Khan nodded, "We will go with your plan. It is a good one."

Demetri clapped him on the shoulder and started leading the way. As Khan and Marshall began to follow Demetri to the augments' settlement, Demetri looked back at Marshall and then spoke to Khan, "Before we go any further, I need to know who this is."

"His name is Marshall. He is assisting me, Demetri."

"Is he loyal?" The man eyed Marshall with distrust.

"So far he has been," Khan responded. "We shall have to see what the future holds. If he betrays us, I will be the first one there to snap his neck in two. Now, tell me more about Kirk."

Khan's words seemed to placate the Russian, whereas Marshall showed no reaction to the words. Demetri continued, "When Kirk showed up, he said he'd brought technology that Starfleet would not allow us. He promised that we could find a way off this planet and begin our conquest of the future."

"Then what happened?"

"The tech on his ship was sabotaged. Hours after he landed, everything of use to us malfunctioned. His ship was worthless. Kirk blamed it on Admiral Marcus, his wife."

"Did you believe him?"

"We had no proof to the contrary. Since then, Kirk has proved himself a helpful addition to our family."

"Kirk is _not _part of this family." The blue in Khan's eyes paled with the beginnings of his rage. The idea that his sworn enemy was part of his family now was inconceivable.

"Please, understand, Khan. He has been here when you have not. Where have you been? We needed you."

"Marcus sent me back into the past – trapped in my pod. She meant for me to die there."

"What happened?"

"Not _what_, my friend, _who_." With his thoughts turning to Sara, Khan's voice became almost wistful.

"Explain."

"A woman, more advanced than the women we have here, she released me."

"And, where is she now?"

"Captured. Marcus has her. Only by taking Kirk back to Marcus will Sara be released to me."

"Hmp. She cannot be that advanced if Marcus took her so easily."

At that, Khan grabbed Demetri's throat and swung the augment into a tree. Crushing the Russian's neck with his bare hand, Khan growled, "Sara is superior. She is the best female I have ever met. She is the key to solving our fertility problem. She is pregnant with my child."

Khan slowly released him as his thoughts took him back to Sara and his child. He closed his eyes and saw Sara – her wild brown hair, her mischievous smile, her dark brown eyes that saw straight into him and refused to be intimidated. Khan hated to admit that he needed anything, but he needed that woman. He needed her softness and her strength. He needed her love and the way she refused to let him become too domineering. He needed her approval and her vindication of his actions.

Demetri's cough brought Khan thought back into the now. The Russian's breath was taken away by the combination of the news and Khan's choke hold. He whispered in awe, "Can it be true?"

"It is true." Khan's jealousy flair quickly and darkly, "But, know this: Sara is _mine_. And I will kill anyone who would try to come between us – be they lesser human or . . . augment."

The Russian's eyes narrowed. "We are your family, Khan."

"Yes, Demetri. But Sara is my life."

"Excuse me," Marshall ventured a little intimidated by both augments.

"What is it, Marshall?" Khan asked hoping that the man would not choose the time to display his lesser human ignorance.

"Did he just say that Marcus sabotaged Kirk's ship?"

"Yes."

Marshall responded with a knowing look that Khan read and understood immediately.

"_No_." Khan hissed before breaking into a run to get back to his ship. Both Marshall and Demetri followed him.

When Demetri and Marshall finally caught up to him, they found Khan working frantically at the controls trying to get them to respond. But the controls failed to work. Nothing worked. The ship's instrument panel was devoid of life, and Khan howled the word putting all his pain and anguish into roaring that one syllable, "No!".

"Khan?" The lesser human took a tentative step towards the augment.

"I have been tricked, Marshall. Marcus has no intention of giving Sara back to me. So, they are dead. My Sara and my child. I have failed them, and they will die because of my failings. Marcus planned this. But why would she do this if she wanted Kirk back?" Khan paused a moment before continuing, "Ah, stupid, stupid." Khan shook his head.

"What is it? Are you saying that she doesn't want Kirk back?" Marshall offered.

"That or Kirk is a part of this charade Marcus is playing. Now that she has all the augments together on this one planet, without weapons or a way out, we are helpless should she choose to attack."

"Either way, there is only one person who can give me the answers I need." Khan looked at Demetri with the fire in his eyes that had always sent shivers down the Russian's spine. With that look from Khan's hard glare, Demetri could refuse him nothing.

Demetri nodded, "Come. I will take you to Kirk."

* * *

Carol could not remember a time when she was in a better mood. She had tricked two supposedly superior augments with the same trick her father had used thirty years ago. Now that Khan had reached the augments' planet, Carol had the excuse she needed to break Starfleet's regulation of no contact with Khan's people. She would go to this planet – as any Starfleet officer would do – and neutralize this threat that had been looming over the Federation ever since they released the augments to their exile.

She had her Admiral's report all planned out: Rogue elements in Starfleet had made Khan's cryotube appear to malfunction and cause his 'death'. Then, after the rest of his crew was safely on the planet, Khan was revived. All of this to orchestrate Khan bringing weapons and technology to his stranded crew. Carol would only be doing her duty to protect countless societies from the genocide Khan's people would conduct once they were free.

Carol grinned and glanced over the crew members who manned the bridge. "Ensign, set course to Ceti Alpha VII. Follow Khan's path."

* * *

**Note on Stardates – **in the original, Khan and his crew arrived on Ceti Alpha V in 2267 whereas, STID is set in 2259. Thirty years after 2259, Ceti Alpha V would already be that desert planet. It only makes sense that Ceti Alpha VII could have been placed in an orbit that would help life begin just as Ceti Alpha V was shoved into a harsher orbit. Anyway, that's the way my version goes and I'm sticking to it.

Also, I promise Kirk will be in the next chapter.

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